Please note that Vineeto’s correspondence below was written by the actually free Vineeto
(List D refers to Richard’s List D and his Respondent Numbers) Vineeto’s Correspondence with Claudiu Discuss Actualism Forum December 1 2024 CLAUDIU: A major thing is seeing a deeply ingrained and conditioned habit of avoidance I have. I came to see its habitual, a fear of anything unfamiliar or not already unknown. But then I ask myself (hoving closer to actuality) is anything actually wrong happening? And I see that no, although it’s unfamiliar and I am afraid, nothing is actually wrong. So then I allow it to continue as I see it is safe. This does wonders in that I think this is also the key mechanism underlying procrastination. Now instead of procrastinating I just do something, even if I may not know exact outcome. And it just makes all so much easier and so far working out brilliantly. The other thing is after a short while of doing this with regard to self-immolating via allowing it to happen, the unfamiliar feeling goes away! Because what I am experiencing becomes increasingly familiar haha. Because now it’s been experienced for a while. So now I can be as close as I was before while feeling a fear of unfamiliarity, but now it’s increasingly familiar and experienced as safe! VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Ah, the mystery is solved now. I was always wondering what this habit of yours might be that you hover on the edge but then prevent yourself from proceeding only to come back again and again to the same point. Of course it’s the all too common “fear of anything unfamiliar”, ‘Vineeto’ had it in spades. And it is a habit, hence, once pinpointed, it can be discarded – there is nothing further to investigate. It is indeed “the key mechanism underlying procrastination”. Kuba ‘solved’ this by dreaming about it, three times(!) for good measure and you are getting “increasingly familiar”, well done. Firmly locked into the utter safety of being the experience of this infinite and eternal universe as a flesh-and-blood body is indeed the safest you can be. Or as Richard put it, better than I can ever express it – Richard: So I am sitting here, bathing in the perfection of this purity, knowing by direct experience this stillness that is precious … (Richard’s Journal, Chapter Twenty-five) Cheers Vineeto December 1 2024 CLAUDIU: The other thing is I think I figured out a really key part of how to successfully self-immolate. If I approach it as ‘me’ ending, then there comes a point where it just feels impossible to proceed because I have myself firmly in mind and I can’t see what would happen next. So it is a dead end. But if I approach it more as me going “into the universe” or “more in the direction of the universe” (i.e. the one that actually exists) then the path is clear, especially when being receptive and aware of pure intent, the purity comes into perception and there’s a clear experience of getting closer to the actual world — and no limit in sight, just a matter of going further, getting used to it (as in the previous post), then further etc., and seems to be just a matter of doing this until it happens. Delightful questions also start to pop up like “wait actuality is already always here (experienced as such) so how can I be going ‘into’ that which is already there? Where am I coming from such as to go ‘into’ that? This place I’m coming from cannot actually exist can it…”, delicious to contemplate and certainly a good sign in my book! KUBA: Hmm this is interesting because I have also been contemplating on those 2 modes. One is to set ‘my’ sights on allowing perfection and purity more and more until ‘I’ disappear. Second one is to make a decision, whilst still being firmly ‘me’, that ‘I’ will give ‘myself’ up in order to allow the perfection and purity irrevocably. I have been leaning towards the second one and it seems you are leaning towards the first one. KUBA: Funnily enough I had this exact thought happen when I had that PCE today. I saw that this body exists where time has no duration and there was this utter safety to this. I thought well why can’t I just remain here when this is all that genuinely exists. And yet this is the point that I am trying to make, that unless ‘I’ make the decision to disappear completely then there will always be ‘something’ to come back to. Since the PCE today though things have been supercharged somehow, like it is becoming inevitable that it will happen. KUBA: That is to say there will be an aspect of the unknown, of not being able to possibly go any further. That last bit to be bridged can only be done by ‘my’ extinction. It reminds me of Srinath’s report of becoming free. That he was as if Moses looking at the promised land and yet being forbidden from entry. This is exactly how I find it, that no matter how closely ‘I’ creep up to actuality, ‘I’ am still forbidden entry and this will never change. CLAUDIU: So too similarly with self-immolation — I go towards actuality with the intent of ending ‘me’, that it will be ‘my’ demise, a permanent ending of ‘me’ instead of temporarily. But practically it is a seamless transition between two worlds — brought about by being willing to go into that sweetness / giving myself up for that sweetness (to combine from a few reports of people succeeding). Indeed ‘me’ going into actuality doesn’t make sense. But “going into the direction of actuality” seems to experientially work. VINEETO: Hi Kuba and Claudiu, What a delightful interaction to read this morning. The way I see it from the observer’s perspective, you both have made the decision to ‘self’-immolate a long time ago, when you both went out from under control. The only decision left, if you have any say in the matter given to have allowed the universe to live you, is *when*. Asking ‘how’ is inviting the ‘doer’ back into the picture and the ‘doer’ has no answers but to whole-heartedly and joyfully acquiesce to the long-awaited blessed oblivion. As Kuba stated, PCEs happen when ‘I’ am naïve enough to allow them to happen, and the same is the case for ‘self’-immolation. ‘Vineeto’s’ experience was that when ‘she’ determined that now, this very evening, was the best time because of the circumstances, all that was left ‘to do’ was a gay abandon to have the time of ‘her’ life in utterly enjoying being here, with fun and frivolity and, of course, the very appreciation of it all. To explain, you both have already decided *that* it is going to happen, and once you determined *when*, then there is nothing else to do but to party. Cheers Vineeto December 1 2024 VINEETO (to Jon): You say that “pure intent is utterly unhuman” because it is not in your human experience. But the word “intent” in this phrase is the feeling being’s sincere intent to bring about the purity one has experienced (if you could only remember it) at least one time in one’s life. The purity is of the actual world, the intent is from the feeling being wanting to (eventually) live in the actual world. (Actualism, ActualVineeto, Jon, 1 December 2024) KUBA: Oh wow what a brilliant way to describe it, I now get it completely! That is why pure intent is one’s active connection to actuality, because it comprises both the ‘human’ aspect which is the intent and the aspect of purity which is outside of ‘humanity’. And naïveté is where ‘I’ can keep this connection readily open. CLAUDIU: It’s funny actually cause I understood it a very different way I understood that the term “pure intent” has been reserved specifically just for that which is actual, i.e. having nothing to do with ‘me’ and ‘my’ doings – and “intent” refers to the agency-aspect of actuality, viz.: Richard: Thus, as an agent and/or an agency can be someone or *something* then, in regards ‘pure intent’ (where agency needs must be outside of the human condition), that agency-association – which association is what the word intent had, in that context, for the feeling-being in residence in this flesh-and-blood body circa January/February 1981 – definitively refers to *something* which ‘he’ described as [quote] ‘a manifest life-force, a genuinely occurring stream of benevolence and benignity, which originates in the perfect and vast stillness that is the essential character of the infinitude of the universe’ [endquote]. (Richard, List D, Claudiu3, 19 January 2014) In other words, the “intent” of “pure intent” is that which “must be outside of the human condition” – i.e. not from a “feeling being wanting to (eventually) live in the actual world”, whose intent would of course be inside of the human condition. As I understand, the entire AFT site was searched for the word “pure intent” and it was replaced instead with “sincere intent” or “naive intent” where it was referring to a feeling-being’s intent, for clarity of communication and to maintain “pure intent” as strictly that which is actual, i.e. “a genuinely occurring stream of benevolence and benignity, which originates in the perfect and vast stillness that is the essential character of the infinitude of the universe”. And it’s particularly relevant in the context of something like Richard writing that “to be actually free from the human condition is to be that pure intent … as in, to be that benevolence and benignity as a flesh-and-blood body only” (Latest Announcement). Because if “intent” is a feeling-being’s intent then it would necessarily be absent when said feeling-being is absent. Yet when actually free, one is that pure intent. Therefore pure intent must be something that is actual. It being something that is strictly actual seems odd and weird at first as feeling-beings can and do experience it, but that is how it can serve as a connection between one’s naiveté and the actual world. And the agency-aspect being strictly actual as well is odd since ‘I’ as a feeling-being can clearly intend to and have agency to go towards the actual world. But it somehow works out to use it this way anyway haha. It is strange because pure intent is both the connection (that is actual) and all that one is when actually free (which is also actual). But of course when actually free there’s no connection anymore because the feeling-being has totally self-immolated. But it’s still pure intent… and there it seems to be somewhat synonymous to the purity of the actual world. Maybe I can put it like this: what pure intent is, is the purity of the actual world as manifest via a flesh-and-blood human body being apperceptively conscious. This purity-as-human-consciousness is all that one is when fully actually free. Further, as all that actually exists anyway are flesh-and-blood bodies being conscious, and this is happening whether a given flesh-and-blood body is actually free or not, this purity-as-consciousness exists and is happening even whilst a body is being parasitically inhabited by a feeling-being. As such, that feeling-being can allow that purity-as-consciousness to increasingly enter their sensorium, which serves as a guiding light to allow that feeling-being to increasingly let themselves let go of the reins, to experience that purity-as-consciousness more and more via increasing gradiations up to an excellence experience, then the temporary abeyance of a pure consciousness experience, and eventually a total and permanent self-immolation to allow that purity-as-consciousness to fully flourish and experience itself as that purity in and of itself, in other words to be the universe experiencing itself as a flesh-and-blood human body. In other words: a quality of the actual universe is its purity. This purity is everywhere all-at-once. This purity manifests as purity-as-consciousness in a flesh-and-blood body being conscious. As such purity-as-consciousness can always be tapped into, and there is the experience of it being everywhere all-at-once – but what is everywhere all-at-once is, strictly speaking, the purity of actuality itself, not the purity-as-consciousness (which a flesh and blood body is basically experiencing only their own (with caveats that a ‘common consciousness’ appears to be possible)), but the purity-as-consciousness is essentially the same as the purity as it is that purity manifesting in a particular way – as consciousness, rather than say a perfectly hanging dew drop at the end of a leaf or a river perfectly flowing along its well-weathered contours. Nothing within the human condition can ever be this purity-as-consciousness, as the human condition is not actual – but the human condition is set up to allow a feeling-being to experience it. They can and must have a sincere and naive intent to allow it to happen, and once they do they can experience this purity-as-consciousness as well. As such this naive intent is intimately related with the purity-as-consciousness, and enables it to be experienced (it is always happening but not always experienced), but it is not the same category of thing. The questions that remain then are whether “pure intent” is being used in some cases to refer to the purity of actuality itself or the purity-as-consciousness in particular… e.g. is it (Library, Topics, Pure Intent): [Purity-as-consciousness] is a manifest life-force; a genuinely occurring stream of benevolence and benignity that originates in the perfect and vast stillness that is the essential character of the infinitude of the universe. or: [The purity of actuality] is a manifest life-force; a genuinely occurring stream of benevolence and benignity that originates in the perfect and vast stillness that is the essential character of the infinitude of the universe. The latter reads more like it is a property of this universe itself, manifest as all the matter in the universe, the very rivers and trees as well, which sounds correct as how else could humans have evolved and gotten to where they are without it? The former is reading more about this purity for flesh-and-blood human bodies in particular, which is more directly relevant for becoming free, but more specific – yet it too would be originating in the “perfect and vast stillness that is the essential character of the infinitude of the universe”. What do you think Vineeto? I would say it is vital to have the terminology be accurate here, and maybe something should be changed of how we use the words, but at the end of the day, maybe not. Cheers, Claudiu VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, You are 100% correct – what I described to Jon was sincere intent. Cheers Vineeto December 2 2024 CLAUDIU: What do you think @Vineeto? I would say it is vital to have the terminology be accurate here, and maybe something should be changed of how we use the words, but at the end of the day, maybe not. VINEETO: Thank you again Claudiu, I much appreciate you responded with your very appropriate correction so quickly and at such length and with multiple quotes, and I am amazed how quickly you had all this at your fingertips. Again, I very much appreciate your attention to the purity and accuracy of exact terminology on such an central issue as pure intent. Cheers Vineeto December 2 2024 VINEETO: To explain, you both have already decided that it is going to happen, and once you determined when, then there is nothing else to do but to party. CLAUDIU: Well, I thought maybe it would be a good idea to follow Vineeto’s advice here as actual advice being given. So I thought today would be a perfect day to self-immolate, during an outing riding bikes. I did not succeed, but I did clear a lot of the way forward. Firstly when I made the decision to do it, came a now-familiar feeling of fear, which indicated to me I was going further into little-explored territory, so it was sincere, which is why it was effective. One huge thing that happened, basically of worldview-shattering proportions, was that I was able to see how actually rotten not only the ideal of ‘fairness’ is, but any ideal at all! It happened that I was feeling upset about how a conversation earlier in the day went. I thought it was unfair that when I act a certain way, the other person gets upset at me, but then they act that exact same way towards me. It was basically ‘unfair’, in that they wanted me to act a certain way without doing it themselves! For the ideal of fairness, this is an injustice, and justice might be served, which would be served by some appropriately-chosen retributive punishment. But I did not want to serve this retribution because I knew it would just hurt the other person, and then they may very well hurt me back, and on a terrible cycle would go. But that then fed back into the unfairness because the other person would very much serve the retribution in the same situation! I thought back to the insight about how I will actually just die one day, forever, and I saw it really didn’t matter what a person said or did on this day in the grand scheme. It hit deeper than this though, I saw that the very person ‘I’ am that has this ability to be affected this way, there is something wrong with this, this ‘identity’ that ‘I’ am being is what is at fault (and not the emotional reaction per se). I saw that it would be silly to serve the retribution, and it is actually sensible to enjoy and appreciate being alive despite what the person says or does. And if they choose to get upset themselves or serve this retribution or what not, it is again silly to engage and ‘payback’ and sensible to not perpetuate that cycle. But wouldn’t this be ‘unfair’, they ‘get to’ serve retribution and ‘I’ don’t? And the answer is… yes, it is “unfair”, but fairness is the problem here! […] VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, What a great descriptive and identity-shattering post, it is truly amazing what you uncover about the human condition at its core. Fairness is one of the few ideals which appeals to almost everyone (mainly in that they want to be treated fairly). It wasn’t easy for ‘Vineeto’ to abandon it, because at first sight it seems so sensible. Soon, however ‘she’ could understand that righteous anger was just as much part of the feeling/ideal of fairness as was the wish to treat everyone/be treated fairly and justly. Here Richard talks about the humanitarian ideals and principles, deeply imbedded in Western culture – Richard: I was staggered as to how deep the Judaic/ Christian environment I was raised in was embedded ... to the point that I then realised that humanism was the secular religion, so to speak, that British/European Colonialism had foisted onto the world at large (via countries like the USA for instance) as it underpins the UN Charter and the UN Declaration of Human Rights. Breaking free from the tenacious grip of their humanitarian principles was difficult to say the least. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 60b, 16 April 2004) And yet humanitarian ideals also have an aspect as an actuality, perhaps this is why their principles have such a tenacious grip – Richard: … gently ushering in an increasing ease and generosity of character. With this growing magnanimity, one becomes more and more anonymous, more and more selflessly motivated. With this expanding altruism one becomes less and less self-centred, less and less egocentric ... the humanitarian ideals of peace, kindness, caring, benevolence and humaneness become more and more evident as an actuality. (Richard, List B, No. 34b, 11 July 1999). CLAUDIU: Ok that was one thing – the next is I saw that I was very insecure! I was afraid of doing it wrong, of being shown to not be competent. And then I saw the temptation to flip from insecurity to overconfidence – to going from assuming I am “doing it wrong” to assuming I am doing everything ‘right’, a blanket statement about ‘me’ (‘me’ inferior → ‘me’ superior). But both of these are utterly silly. It is sensible, rather, to take it on a case by case basis. For example I know a lot about programming and very little about embroidery. It would be silly to be confident about my embroidery skills, but sensible to be so about programming. And with succeeding with self-immolation, I’m clearly very much on the right track! VINEETO: ‘I’ can only exist in a dichotomy, swinging from ‘right’ to ‘wrong’ and from superior to inferior and none of these have any basis in actuality. ‘Right’ according to what? Superior compared to whom? What and who is the ultimate arbiter? And yet this is the hold humanity’s morals and ethics have on how each one assesses themselves, isn’t it remarkable? There is only one solution – Respondent: What is the basis of ‘right action’? Richard: Twenty four hour a day happiness and harmlessness ... which condition is the result of the total eradication of ‘I’ as ego and ‘me’ as soul (the entire identity who is the product of the instinctual passions of fear and aggression and nurture and desire). (Richard, List B, No. 36, 1 October 1999). CLAUDIU:The third thing then was to see that I was feeling a feeling of ‘dread’ around what will come, about the outcome of self-immolation. This has been in the background, but only labelled as such today. And I just stopped to look at it as I realized it was so weird. All my experiences of what actuality is actually like, none of them have anything occurring in them whatsoever as for it to be sensible to react with ‘dread’ to it! It is all wonderful, pristine, pure, etc. So this feeling of dread is simply not sensible. My emotional reactions are misaligned with what is actual. Actually what it makes sense to dread is continuing to be the human condition with all its mayhem and misery! […] VINEETO: Yep, you are getting really close and it’s no wonder that ‘dread’ will make its appearance because ‘I’ perceive ‘my’ extinction the same as the death of the body (‘I’ have usurped the flesh-and-blood body so totally that one cannot feel a distinction between one and the other). A wondrous tale and very informative for all who endeavour to go all the way. Cheers Vineeto December 6 2024 CLAUDIU: The most crucial part was when I was contemplating on the fact that whatever ‘I’ could do for the world, e.g. if I dedicate my life to philanthropy, or doing good works, or doing this company or that thing – nothing would be as me doing the most I could as self-immolating. There would always be an aspect of it where I am not giving it my all, where it ends up being self-centered for ‘me’, rather than actually for the benefit of the world / of humanity etc. But the most I can do, the very best I can do, is to self-immolate! VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Ha you got it in one – the very best ‘you’ can do to benefit both the flesh-and-blood Claudiu and every human being “is to self-immolate”. And the wonderful thing is that you can do all the other activities as well, if you still find it sensible, and thoroughly enjoy it and delight in it as the actually free Claudiu. CLAUDIU: The other thing I resolved delightfully is I started to feel an objection like that I want to know what it’s like before I do it, and somehow feeling it’s unfair that I can’t. And then I saw it was silly, because it’s just a fact that I won’t know what it’s like until it happens. The delightful analogy that came up is that it’s like having sex for the first time, you can read all about it and try to simulate it but you don’t know what it’s actually like until it happens! And if you wait until knowing what it’s like before you do it you’ll just always remain a virgin haha. So better to just go for it even if you don’t exactly know what you’re doing at first. VINEETO: That’s a great analogy. It goes much further than that too. Just contemplate what life would be like if you knew every experience beforehand, you might not even want to be born! What’s the point of having an experience if you know what it is like in detail beforehand? There would be no adventure, no exploration, no naiveté, no interest to do anything because nothing will be new and fresh. Whereas you know from experience, when you are in a PCE or near-PCE then every moment is new, fresh, never happened before. Richard: “This moment of being alive has never happened before and will never happen again. It is unique. As it is always this moment already, everything is immediately peerless. Therefore it is never boring ... it is ever-fresh ... I am never boring ... I am ever-fresh. I have never been here before ... everything is happening for the very first time ... I am happening for the very first time. Because I am ever-new, I am automatically innocent. Innocence prevails where time has no duration.” (Richard, List A, No. 23, #No. 01) Richard: “I have never been here before, I am perpetually new. I appear as this moment appears. As each moment is fresh, new, so too am I novel, artless and innocent. I can never gather dust, as it were, for I cast no shadow. I have no presence, no being. I do not exist, psychologically speaking. With no entity within to mess things up, I am actually perfection personified, pure and simple, through no effort at all. I can take no credit for my unimpeachable character, it all happens of itself as the universe intends it to.” (Richard, List A, No. 5a, #No. 20) Richard: “All this is just happening of its own accord. Everything I experience is actual to this moment. And this moment is occurring now. This particular moment of being here has never happened before ... and it will never happen again. This moment is ever-fresh, perennially new. It is consistently so; dependable in its originality and reliable in its uniqueness. For twenty-four-hours-a-day it is like this, day-in-day-out ... therefore it is impossible for it to ever become boring. This moment does not exist in the ‘real world’, it exists in the actual world. Only the present can exist in reality.” (Richard, List A, No. 22, #No. 01) Cheers Vineeto December 6 2024 CLAUDIU: That’s so utterly delightful. ‘Me’ out of fear and desire for safety, I take away from this and try to make all familiar, already-known, old, stagnant, stale, so ‘I’ feel safe… and then that breeds the very resentment ‘I’ have towards being alive! Giving up delight and wonder in exchange for safety that breeds resentment and is only felt to be safe but actually isn’t … how utterly backwards !! Lol. I am reminded of Geoffrey’s report of becoming free – he spells it all out – Geoffrey: “I stood there, the sun in my back, full of sensuousness, delighting in Pure Intent, amazed at how the actual is so safe. I was thinking about the unknown path lying before me (the path that deliver the goods – as I knew from the PCE), and realised in a flash that the unknown path is the safe path. That the known is the unsafe. That ‘I’ am the unsafe. For a split second I saw like a veil in front of me. I saw how I could be on the other side of the ‘mirror’, on the safe side, the magical side, how I could… But there was a last second resistance: My precious! I will not give away my precious! Later on the way back, I was thinking about this ‘precious’ thing, how only here on this tiny planet right now there are 7 billion people just as ‘unique’ and ‘precious’ as my self, when it clicked… and I burst into laughter. This was simply hilarious. Everybody is so precious. I must then be SO precious hahaha. Every little ‘me’ waging wars against other little ‘me’ because they are so precious. Whereas they are just the same product of evolution and animal passions, with the same hiding place, the same hunger, the same dirtiness. You can’t be serious! I saw without a shadow of a doubt that ‘I’ am the cause of every evil, corruption, dirt… just because ‘I’ am ‘so precious’. How ‘I’ mess everything up for myself and everybody just because ‘I’ am. And not some dissociated ‘I’ with enough quotes not to be me, but me right now thinking this. There was the actual world just right there in front of me, obviously existing, pure and perfect, and then there was ‘me’, ‘humanity’. The contrast was simply hilarious. I can’t describe how hilarious this contrast was. What we’ve all been doing forever and ever, on a ridiculous parade of malice and sorrow, with the greatest seriousness. I realised that I would indeed gladly die right now, gladly give away all I am, all I ever was, all I’ve done and felt since I was born, for peace-on-earth to be apparent (not even for me but) for everybody. For things to be as they are. And that it would be of no importance at all. No ‘weight’, no drama… just the only thing that made sense, the only sensible thing. I was walking on a dirt path, in the shadows of the trees, a few hundred meters from home, with a big smile on my face, when everything stopped. I saw the vortex that is ‘me’ drastically slow down, as it could not move in the overarching stillness, and evaporate, as it had no substance but movement. Then there was nothing left. And nothing missing.” (Becoming Free Reports, Geoffrey) Perfect. Cheers Vineeto December 8 2024 CLAUDIU: [...] My experience really was different than usual lately. I experienced it as that I was the senses / the sensate experience was much more immediate. It is also like full-blast wondrous purity was available essentially ‘on demand’, like I would just wonder about it and experience would instantly become more pure and magical. It also seemed very obviously clear that time does not move, that the past doesn’t exist, and it’s always now, and there is no other moment. It also seemed very obviously clear that time does not move, that the past doesn’t exist, and it’s always now, and there is no other moment. This was my experience of it. And, climbing on the rock wall, it was much different than I would usually do it, much easier, I saw and tried stuff that I just wouldn’t have before, and it was all natural and I was just having a blast. However I experienced some uncertainty as to whether I had done it, and it seemed like it was a feeling of self-doubt somehow. I wondered if this was some remnant – I thought that wow, ‘Claudiu’ was really caught up with his identity of self-immolating and succeeding in that, and maybe because it was so habitual I (as actually free Claudiu) was experiencing remnants of it that were not feelings anymore. I couldn’t exactly tell if it was affective or not. But then I realized that I could easily solve the uncertainty, I didn’t have to be uncertain – I could just apply the same contemplation and pure intent towards this topic, and find out what the actual answer is, if I was actually free or not. I thought about describing it all to Vineeto also and realized that Vineeto would not be able to figure it out for me, actually, I had to do it myself – and it just made sense and was so obvious and straightforward. That this was so straightforward made me think that maybe I had really done it, since before I would have gotten more caught up in it. I also realized I had a feeling of having done something ‘wrong’, and I saw that no matter what happened, it wouldn’t be ‘wrong’. Either I did succeed, in which case this is wonderful and these are the things that one tidies up after becoming free, and it’ll be valuable info to share with people. Or I didn’t, in which case I will find that out and learn something. There’s no ‘problem’ actually. The only problem would be if I was trying to fool myself or fool others about it, and I saw that I wasn’t, so there really isn’t any issue either way. I also felt and experienced a deep pang of like “Ahh I just want to have done it already and gotten it over with!!” And I found it so strange. This is not something to ‘get over with’. It is a wondrous journey and path with immense benefits for all involved and affected. I wonder where I had this feeling from, it was a very deep-down one, and probably it is a remnant from my days of intensive vipassana meditation, which indeed was very unpleasant and definitely something to ‘get over with’ (or better yet avoid entirely lol) So it went like this back and forth for a while. The ease and simplicity at which I was addressing everything made me think I succeeded. But the uncertainty, doubts, and confusion kept coming back, each time feeling more familiar, like my usual recent experience of being alive, as a feeling-being. Eventually as I was getting more tired and it was getting later, I got mildly annoyed by what someone did, and I couldn’t deny it any longer haha, I was not actually free. But the remarkable simplicity and naive sincerity remains. Everything just is so increasingly straightforward! And it was almost like a preview of what it would be like – nothing missing whatsoever. Actually the only thing spoiling it was ‘me’, that is me the feeling-being writing this right now, haha. Except for that ‘little’ bit it was all perfect. VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, This is a great experience in itself, and you are getting exceedingly confident in venturing into the actual world for the nonce. You are right, I could not have sorted this one out for you and appreciate that you are so meticulous and careful so as to not to fool yourself and others about what is happening. Here might be a clue for you. Richard: The act of initiating this ‘process’ is altruism, pure and simple. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 60, 3 December 2003) To spell it out: Altruism, an instinctual passion for the benefit of every body, can be evoked for a once-in-a-lifetime action to overcome selfism, the generally predominant instinctual survival passion. Being a passion to overcome the imperative passion for survival, it needs to be deeply experienced in order to be activated for ‘self’-immolation. ‘Me’ must fully comprehend the fact that there is no other solution but willingly and gladly giving up ‘my’ existence “for peace-on-earth to be apparent for everybody”. It is to comprehend the fact that all other solutions tried by ‘me’ and other feeling beings have been tried and failed and were merely ‘fiddling while Rome still burns’. Richard: Thus when ‘I’ willingly and irremunerably ‘self’-immolate in toto – both psychologically and psychically – then ‘I’ am making the most noble sacrifice that ‘I’ can make for this body and that body and every body ... for ‘I’ am what ‘I’ hold most dear. (Richard, Abditorium, Altruism). Here is Geoffrey’s report how altruism played a vital part in ‘his’ last moments – Geoffrey: There was the actual world just right there in front of me, obviously existing, pure and perfect, and then there was ‘me’, ‘humanity’. The contrast was simply hilarious. I can’t describe how hilarious this contrast was. What we’ve all been doing forever and ever, on a ridiculous parade of malice and sorrow, with the greatest seriousness. I realised that I would indeed gladly die right now, gladly give away all I am, all I ever was, all I’ve done and felt since I was born, for peace-on-earth to be apparent (not even for me but) for everybody. For things to be as they are. And that it would be of no importance at all. No ‘weight’, no drama… just the only thing that made sense, the only sensible thing. (Becoming Free Reports, Geoffrey) Alternatively, this deep caring about the ubiquitous malice and sorrow of all feeling beings, and wanting to do the only thing one can do about it (i.e. to give all of ‘me’ “for peace-on-earth to be apparent”) can be centred upon a deep caring for one particular person turning into a near-actual intimacy, which with pure intent can change into “a caring as close to an actual caring as an identity can muster.” Viz.: RICHARD: As Vineeto’s reports/ descriptions/ explanations of a near-actual caring are scattered throughout her ‘Direct Route Mail-Out’ emails some background details presented numerically will aid clarity in communication. 1. When feeling-being ‘Vineeto’s everyday feeling of caring first shifted into what has since become known as a near-actual caring the qualitative difference was so marked in its effect ‘she’ initially mistook it to be an actual caring (as per ‘her’ memories of PCE’s). 2. This shift occurred when ‘she’ transitioned from ‘her’ pragmatic, methodological virtual freedom into being out-from-control – a dynamic, destinal virtual freedom – for the remaining four-and-a-half weeks of ‘her’ life (albeit with a melodramatic three-day out-of-control interlude towards the end). 3. Due to ‘her’ naïve intent to be as intimate and without prejudice as possible – which, in conjunction with the absence of self-centredness/ self-centricity that is part-and-parcel of being out-from-control had resulted in the actualism method segueing into the actualism process – ‘her’ cheerful and thus willing concurrence allowed pure intent to dynamically pull ‘her’ evermore unto ‘her’ destiny. (Hence the “dynamic, destinal virtual freedom” nomenclature). 4. This moment-to-moment experiencing of a caring which is not self-centred/ self-centric provided ‘her’ with the experiential convincement that actualising such caring, via ‘self’-immolation, was the only solution to the human condition; this ‘hands-on’ understanding as a dynamically present feeling-being – an impressively distinct contrast to having been abeyant during PCE’s – left ‘her’ with absolutely no choice (lest ‘she’ be forever “rearranging the deck-chairs on the Titanic”). 5. Since a near-actual caring is, of course, epitomised by a vital interest in the suffering of all human beings coming to an end, forever, as a number one priority, then ‘her’ single-minded focus was essentially centred upon the most immediate way of ensuring this long-awaited global event could begin to take effect the soonest ... to wit: bringing ‘her’ own inevitable demise, at physical death, forward into a liminal imminence. 6. Because the means ‘she’ elected to utilise towards these ends was the near-actual intimacy which goes hand-in-hand with a near-actual caring (per favour that afore-mentioned absence of self-centredness/ self-centricity which typifies being out-from-control) it is apposite to defer to what Vineeto herself wrote on the 20th of January 2010, only fifteen days after her pivotal moment/ definitive event, as its refreshingly simple directness speaks for itself. Viz.: • [Vineeto]: “(...). Further it was obvious for me that it would be Richard who would facilitate and trigger my transition into an actual freedom because he was the most obvious person with whom a near-actual intimacy would change into an actual intimacy – simply because Richard had been my guide and mentor for the last 13 years and particularly so for the period since I stepped out-from-control. As I have written to No. 5 recently –/p> ‘The final clue was again about caring, a caring as close to an actual caring as an identity can muster. Only when I cared enough to give all of ‘me’ to another person, to give them what they want most, was I then ready to give it to the one I cared for most, the one I was closest to, and then I was able to leave all remnant concerns and inhibitions of my identity behind. And that’s what happened”. (Direct Route, James, 17 January 2010). (Direct Route, No. 20, 20 January 2010). (Incidentally, her words “to give them what they want most” refers to my oft-expressed emphasis on the necessity of a female replicating my condition – for those oh-so-vital ‘core of civilisation itself’ reasons spelled-out elsewhere on my portion of the web site – and it speaks volumes, to those males having reservations about going all the way due to the popular wisdom that what women want is loving relationships, that in the handful of daring pioneers women out-numbered men by a 4-to-1 ratio). (Out-from-control Reports, Vineeto) I am aware that you care deeply about your fellow human beings, yet this might presently being overlaid by “I also felt and experienced a deep pang of like “Ahh I just want to have done it already and gotten it over with!!” A rare admission of a tenuous yet still cunning ‘me’. Cheers Vineeto December 8 2024 CLAUDIU: Oh there was one part of it that was very strange. Not sure what to make of it. While climbing up a rock wall I experienced it as two “me” being active at the same time. There was the actual me that was climbing up the wall and having a blast and being aware of being the actual me. And then there was this sort of seemingly-faux inchoate identity-me which was wondering about whether it was actual freedom and what happened. It was like two “I” were simultaneously active at the same time. It was a bit jarring and rather strange. But also the experience could smoothly adjust to being one I or the other, depending on what “I” (but which I??) would focus on or go towards. I thought at the time maybe it was how being newly free is experienced and this was the guardian or something, remnants of identity like this. Now I’m not sure what it was, I wasn’t actually free so it definitely wasn’t that. But it wasn’t a PCE because the feeling-being me was apparently there… but I don’t think I was mistaken about the experience of the actual me being apperceptively aware of myself. But I’m not sure how that can be since it wasn’t a PCE. It is very strange and not sure what to make of it, but thought I’d report it and see if Vineeto has any feedback. Either way now that things have normalized the path forward is clear again ! VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, This is fascinating. You can clearly see that “it wasn’t a PCE”. In a PCE ‘I’ am in abeyance, in remission, in suspension, absent, not there at all. Hence you reporting there were “Two ”me“ being active at the same time” cannot be true (because actuality is only experienced in a definite PCE) but most likely rather a clever life-like mirage of your tenuous yet still cunning ‘me’ in order to divert your attention. Ha, it is an indication that the diversion tactics are getting more and more desperate, sailing so close to the wind! See, as a result you went on a short exploration that “maybe it was how being newly free is experienced and this was the guardian or something”, wrote a message on the forum and reported that “things have normalized”, and hence forgot about the very informative “deep pang of like “Ahh I just want to have done it already and gotten it over with!!” For information, at the moment of becoming actually free, the full actual freedom is experienced without any restrictions. Several people have reported this and it is my own experience as well. The shadowy remnants of the social identity only start to conglomerate some time afterwards, eventually forming themselves into a more-or-less solid social identity (aka guardian), usually due to interactions with feeling beings. And yet this diversional contemplation plus your “deep pang” are indicators that ‘me’ is not yet ready to willingly and gladly abdicate the throne – ‘I’ only admit that “I just want to have done it already and gotten it over with!!” That is still short of “all of ‘me’ on board” as I have called it. It is not yet sufficient motivation for decisive and irreversible action. Maybe my previous post will help. Cheers Vineeto December 9 2024 VINEETO: And yet this diversional contemplation plus your “deep pang” are indicators that ‘me’ is not yet ready to willingly and gladly abdicate the throne – ‘I’ only admit that “I just want to have done it already and gotten it over with!!” That is still short of “all of ‘me’ on board” as I called it. It is not yet sufficient motivation for decisive and irreversible action. CLAUDIU: The repetition was helpful here! I looked into it more and there was indeed more to it, that part of me that admitted that. My initial contemplation that it was silly, was correct, but not that it was resolved, it was not! It was even more cunning than I thought. So, I saw it was not sincere. ‘Me’ castigating or trying to get another part of ‘me’ to self-immolate, is not sincere, because the implicit presumption in that is… that the ‘castigating’ part is superior, and will remain! So it’s not that I just want to self-immolate, it was really (once the cunning is taken out and made explicit) that I want to fool myself into thinking I self-immolated, so that I (the cunning part) can continue existing (albeit an illusory ‘real’ existence, not an actual one) and not be under scrutiny anymore! Very remarkably cunning! VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Perhaps it would make the (already fruitful) investigation easier, if you don’t split yourself into parts – cunning, sincere, deceiving, castigating, etc – but see ‘you’ as a whole, as in ‘I’ am (all) ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’. And then there is pure intent, “a palpable life-force; an actually occurring stream of benevolence and benignity that originates in the vast and utter stillness that is the essential character of the universe itself. Once set in motion, it is no longer a matter of choice: it is an irresistible pull’.” (Richard, Abditorium, Pure Intent) ‘I’ will fight for ‘my’ survival as long as ‘I’ exist – until ‘I’ cannot help but giving up ‘my’ ghost, which is only supported by ‘my’ addiction to be ‘me’ – RESPONDENT: Upon looking at it further it appears that I am addicted to ‘me’ (suffering) but that I am also addicted to the escapes from the ‘me’. RICHARD: Okay ... is the addiction to being ‘me’ stronger than the addiction to escaping from being ‘me’? I only ask because if the addiction to being ‘me’ is the more powerful addiction then successful escape is the last thing ‘I’ am looking for (and thus ‘I’ will keep on re-treading the known path, the familiar path, the path that does not deliver the goods). Whereas if the addiction to escaping is the more powerful addiction then successful escape can (and will) happen. (Richard, List B, No. 39b, 1 Nov 2002) * RESPONDENT: You are making a distinction between ‘I/me’ eliminating itself and it being done altruistically. RICHARD: No, I am more making the point that only altruism – self-sacrificial humanitarianism – will provide the enormous energy necessary for ‘self’-immolation ... the instinct for individual survival is only exceeded by the instinct for group survival. It takes a powerful instinct to overcome a powerful instinct. RESPONDENT: I understand this intellectually but I don’t really feel it. If ‘I’ do it for this body it will help everybody but it feels like I want to do it for selfish reasons. You seem to be saying that it can only be done altruistically and I don’t feel altruistic about it. RICHARD: Properly speaking the word ‘altruistic’ is not a word for a feeling but a word for behaviour or action that benefits others at the expense of self (altruism is the very antithesis of selfism), such as fighting to the death to protect the young, defend the group or secure the territory, and as such could evoke any number of feelings ... such as fear, thrill, courage, excitement, exhilaration, euphoria and so on. (Richard, List B, No. 39b, 1 Nov 2002a) CLAUDIU: I dug into it more and found a, or maybe the, core part of me, which basically amounts to ‘me’ being ultimately superior! Like I place myself above everyone and everything else, I am the most important thing to myself. Richard was right when he said that ‘I’ am what ‘I’ hold most dear. I don’t think this is even a superiority complex, I think it is just how the human psyche is set up. And now that I let myself feel and see this, I was wondering how to get this part of me fully on board with self-immolating? I couldn’t figure it out. I made a big breakthrough when I was thinking about how it’s a choice, between continuing to be that ‘me’ that feels to be so superior and central to everything, or the purity and perfection, and continuing to be ‘me’ is choosing ‘me’ and rejecting the perfection, and… it just instantly became shockingly funny at how bad a choice that was! Haha. Like “Wow that is a really bad choice”. VINEETO: Ha, that is a great find and yes, this is “how the human psyche is set up”. There is nothing like finding the ridiculousness of a conviction to destroy its credibility. Yet sorting out what is silly and what is sensible cannot be your only tool because ‘I’, “a lost, lonely, frightened and very, very cunning entity” fighting for ‘my’ survival am able to create untold amounts of puzzles for ‘me’ to sort out (ask Kuba). Something which can exceed the fighting for ‘your’ survival is required, and the only action, which can do this needs be galvanized by “the instinct for group survival” (see Richard’s quote above). CLAUDIU: And as I thought it out more, it’s that it would be a bad choice because I so obviously am not perfect, am far from it. This belief that I am superior, is a belief, the facts show otherwise, readily and easily so, with many examples. So I am contemplating on how the purity and perfection of the actual world is far superior to ‘me’. I haven’t fully resolved it yet, but this appears to be a big one! What I also realized is that I think the part of ‘me’ that I was feeling coming up after that shift, is the part of me that is wanting to prevent self-immolation! And I saw that the part of me always ruminating and wondering how to proceed, there is a genuine, out-from-control aspect of that that happens, but then there’s a sort of ‘central-feeling’ one where ‘I’ am wondering about it, and this actually appears to not be sincere! It is related to the part of ‘me’ that’s looking to prevent self-immolation! Preventing self-immolation while pretending to be wondering how to proceed haha. Very tricky indeed. VINEETO: Isn’t it amazing and wonderful how sincere contemplation will reveal the short-comings and trickiness of the instinctual identity compared to the purity of actuality, which you know by experience delivers the longed-for peace-on-earth – Geoffrey: “I realised that I would indeed gladly die right now, gladly give away all I am, all I ever was, all I’ve done and felt since I was born, for peace-on-earth to be apparent (not even for me but) for everybody.” [emphasis added]. (Becoming Free Reports, Geoffrey) CLAUDIU: And when I saw this I was a bit flummoxed and at a loss, like, how do I proceed if this part of me I thought was helping is actually hindering? But the answer came soon, which is that I found that when I minimized and didn’t fuel the insincere part, I found progress happening anyway, continuing to make genuine progress and sincerely contemplating. In other words, I am drawn to a flame, and this part of ‘me’ I thought I needed, actually is just hindering now (and maybe always was? or maybe was helpful at some point. not really sure). VINEETO: Ha, ‘Vineeto’ after discovering each of ‘her’ tricks called them “another furphy”, nowadays they are politely called “misinformation”. It’s very useful to find out that your supposed ‘ally’ is actually your opponent in disguise. CLAUDIU: Anyway this is where things are at the moment! VINEETO: I much appreciate your detailed account, which can also be very instructive to plum the depth of cunningness for those who are ready to inquire into their own psyche. Viz: Richard: Wherever there be no underestimating the extent to which a lost, lonely, frightened and very, very cunning feeling-being will go in order to remain affectively-psychically in existence – millions upon millions of years of blind nature’s successful perpetuation of the species via its rough-and-ready instinctual survival passions blindly dictates no other course of action can ever instinctually come about – is where there be far less likelihood of ascribing to nescience that which quite properly has its roots in the visceral wiliness of the wild which has so successfully proliferated the species thus far. It is no-one’s fault if they be more cunning – more instinctively wily – than the norm as it is genetic inheritance which determines the degree to which instinctual drives, urges, impulses, appetites, and all the rest, are operating. * ’Tis no little thing what we are doing here on this forum – the implications and ramifications stemming from actively participating in this pioneering enterprise are truly enormous – and I am well-pleased to see the vitalising pioneer-spirit, which has brought the human race thus far, is not only still alive and well but, arguably, operating and functioning even better than ever! (Richard, List D, Alan, Footnote) What a grand adventure! Cheers Vineeto December 11 2024 CLAUDIU: The insight that when I am anxiously fretting and ruminating on how to proceed to self-immolation, is actually me actively preventing and resisting to self-immolation, is bearing fruit and continues to be confirmed as correct. VINEETO: This is excellent and your consequent outstanding experiences confirmed this insight. As I understand the process you described, pure intent was at one point temporarily out of reach “because I had labelled “the anxiety” as something outside of ‘me’” and kept in place by dissociation. By recognizing this you could experience it directly as “just being anxious!” CLAUDIU: (Also it was very helpful to stop thinking of it as parts of me and just own up to the fact that it is all me haha, ty Vineeto). It took some time to accept it as it is such a familiar part of me. But, for example, I could not deny that when I was gathering up the rope after climbing a route, and the world was suddenly seen to be actually drenched in perfection and purity, with unimaginably vibrant colors, the rope slithering perfectly into the bag as the hands deftly manipulate it – that no amount of anxious rumination before that actually led to that, and the anxious rumination happening afterwards was clearly not that, and would not lead back to that. Shortly after the above I wondered, then, what am I to do with all this energy that I am used to using on anxious rumination? And I realized – I could be sensuous! I can use the energy for sensuousness, instead. And so I proceeded to naively be sensuous and I saw that I could always be sensuous, because actuality is already always happening anyway – so sensuousness is always possible to be an ‘activity’ that one does, so to speak. And the benefit was immediately tangible – everything shone into perfect clarity and richness, and it was immensely wondrous and enjoyable to boot! It led to experiencing such a remarkable and out-of-this-world actuality later whilst driving the car during the golden hour shortly before sunset. All of experience, 100% of it, was unimaginably rich and pure. Everything was happening effortlessly and even the slightest motion or adjustment of the steering wheel was a delight to experience. I literally could not believe how pure and rich experience was… and perfect! The words ran through my head “I can’t believe this is real life”. There is no doubt at all that what I am aiming for is a life to be experienced like that, 24/7, every second of every minute of the day. And no doubt that this is eminently achievable – because actuality is already like that. That is what is already happening, so no effort is needed to produce it. It is accessible at any time, 24/7, because that is how the universe is already functioning. So there is no need to ‘wait’ for it to start doing that, or get the conditions ‘right’, because it’s already happening. All I need to do is allow it to happen. [...] As I got more tired driving, the experience ended, and I was thrown into an anxiety stronger than I’ve felt in a long while. I didn’t know what to do – trying to be sensuous at that point, was not working anymore. I saw it was a habit but didn’t know how to stop it. It seemed like I was stuck. I had already recognized earlier that the only actual reliable guiding light that is possible is pure intent. Any relying on ‘me’, on that ruminating me or any other ‘me’, will not work and is not reliable, will not lead me right. But pure intent will. However, pure intent seemed far out of reach, so I was at a loss. I realized the feeling was similar to what I used to call my experience when I was meditating, a particular phase of it that was called “Desire for Deliverance”. […] Once I decontextualized it from some allegedly Noble (but actually Rotten) Spiritual Path, I saw it was a normal human emotion – and that I was already dissociating! Because I had labelled “the anxiety” as something outside of ‘me’ that is happening to ‘me’ that ‘I’ can do nothing about. But really, I was just being anxious! So rather than try to stop “the anxiety” I reflected on the reality that I was being anxious. Then the next obvious question was: what am I feeling anxious about? And I saw that I was feeling anxious about being uncertain about how to continue towards self-immolation. And that the wondrous and amazingly rich, still, perfect, and rock-solid experience of driving, amounted to showing me that I had been doing it wrong the entire time, by conflating me anxiously ruminating with me making genuine progress towards self-immolation, when in fact it was the opposite! Just seeing and accepting this was enough for me to stop spinning in anxiety. VINEETO: One thing is clear from your report in this post that whatever rumination causes anxiety cannot produce a useful guide to self-immolation, it can only lead you away from it. I wonder if there is more to this anxiety than “being uncertain about how to continue towards self-immolation” because this cause for anxiety has now clearly been exposed as a ‘furphy’, a red herring, a strawman. Whereas being anxious about giving up “what ‘I’ hold most dear” is not so easily recognized as silly (even if that were the answer to “what am I feeling anxious about?”) because “what ‘I’ hold most dear” is all ‘I’ consist of, is all that keeps ‘me’ in place, and ‘my’ entire existence depends on being held dear. I know, it sounds tautological because it is. Wouldn’t it be fascinating to inquire what this anxiety is, in and of itself, what is its nature (not only what it is about)? I’m asking because you can use the very energy of a passionate feeling, seeing it operating at ‘your’ core, such as fear (when shifting to the thrilling aspect) to catapult you into the third alternative, permanently. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Kuba3, Footnote) I am not saying it is the way, or the only way, or that it is necessary, because everyone has a different way of arriving here in the actual world. I just noticed that it has been a recurring theme for you in various forms, and why not pull it out at its roots if/when it pops up again. CLAUDIU: With these recent experiences and insights having happened… … onwards! VINEETO: Indeed. Cheers Vineeto December 11 2024 KUBA: What I am getting from this is perhaps just as ‘my’ trusted tool of “creating meticulously laid out territory” which got ‘me’ thus far cannot take ‘me’ all the way to self-immolation, in fact it can become a distraction. In the same way ‘Claudiu’s’ trusted tool of resolving things by seeing what is silly and what is sensible has reached it’s limit. Those tools were useful for the ongoing application of the method but they cannot end ‘me’, it seems something deeply experiential is needed in order to end ‘me’. It’s like ‘I’ have to go on this adventure which ultimately only exists in ‘my’ reality and is not actual, but nevertheless the adventure must be had, like Richard wrote the drama must be played out to it’s conclusion. […] By using silly vs sensible / creating meticulously laid out territory ‘I’ can certainly resolve an obstruction to enjoyment and appreciation but ‘I’ will remain. This prospect of ‘me’ going on a grand adventure that ends ‘me’ is quite thrilling actually! CLAUDIU: Well it’s interesting that this didn’t make it into my earlier report, but I actually had a distinct sense at the time that the sudden anxiety was a reaction to that most stable, pristine, profound and rich PCE that I had ever had. In other words, the anxiety was really about confronting the ending of ‘me’. I think Kuba got it right – I remember thinking precisely that this me that had gotten me up to this point, that, too, will have to go! So the anxiety manifested mostly from the point of view of that part of me, if I could put it that way. But really it is about the ending of ‘me’, as Vineeto said, giving up what ‘I’ hold as most dear. Ever since that profound and remarkable PCE, things are markedly different. It was just so astoundingly crystal clear, with no room for any doubt whatsoever, that that was perfection, that it is always available, and that that is what I want, how I want life to be. Before that experience I wouldn’t really be able to say what being actually free would be like, I had no referent to really point that to. But that experience showed me clearly how it would be, with no problem whatsoever, because it was so thorough and clear. I understand that actual freedom itself will be different than that since it was still a temporary experience, but it was enough for me to not have any doubt anymore. So now instead of me trying to get myself to go towards self-immolation, which is how I got to that point (and it was very effective apparently!), it is more about whatever obstacles I have that remain, getting out of the way for it to happen, definitively. And it is clear now, clearer than ever before in fact, that all of me will have to go. But the change is palpable. Now with most things that I would think or feel of doing, that I’d normally get caught up in and put energy in, it’s like a “oh why would I get caught up in that? I want to self-immolate instead”. And what remains that I do get caught up in, I’m seeing it is more out of familiarity than anything else… … all seems very promising!! VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Wow. I am literally speechless. You are right, everything you have done has got you to this significant point. How mirificent. Cheers Vineeto December 14 2024 CLAUDIU: It does seem like the key at this final stage is sensuousness I reread Geoffrey’s report and noticed that what he had been doing while doing nothing but allowing self-immolation to happen, is revelling in sensuousness and pure intent! A naive sensuousness is what led to my rock solid PCE that removed any remaining doubts. Sensuousness is the “thing to do” with all my freed up energy. Sensuousness is the gateway into actuality. Sensuousness points and orients me to the actual world. I don’t have to worry or fret about self-immolating or “making progress”. Instead I can be carefree, assured it will happen, so long as I do my part which is revelling and delighting in sensuousness! But I don’t have to do anything other than that, is the point. I don’t have to worry about it, the universe will do it. It doesn’t mean I can ‘relax’ as in going back to my old ways. That takes me further away. But I can go forward via sensuousness — I don’t know precisely the mechanism of how I will self-immolate but I am really pretty sure that sensuousness will lead to it happening! VINEETO; Hi Claudiu, You are exactly right. Feeling being ‘Richard’ started by deliberately imitating the actual, [Richard]: Look, ‘he’ was just a simple boy from the farm (not at all sophisticated) and what ‘he’ set about doing, consciously and with knowledge aforethought, was to deliberately imitate the actual – as experienced six months prior in a four-hour pure consciousness experience (PCE) … (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 68d, 28 October 2005). and continued to do so via what is now known as the Actualism method – “The means to the end – an ongoing enjoyment and appreciation – are no different to the end.” (4th scrolling banner). And here is Richard’s description of what life is like after actual freedom which is no different to “the means to the end” – • [Co-Respondent]: ‘Are you conscious now? • [Richard]: ‘Yes. • [Co-Respondent]: ‘Conscious of what? • [Richard]: ‘Primarily, of the infinitude this physical universe actually is ... as this flesh and blood body only (sans identity in toto) I am proprioceptively conscious of being just here, right now and, as such, the other somatic perceptions currently in operation – tactile, olfactive, visual, audile – are direct: this skin is savouring the touch, the caress, of the mid-winter ambience; these nostrils are rejoicing in the abundance of aromas and scents drifting fragrantly all about; these retinas are delighting in the profusion of colour and texture and form; these eardrums are revelling in the cadence of tones as their resonance and timbre fills the air. Further to that this mind, other than the sheer enjoyment and appreciation of being alive as this flesh and blood body, is ambling along in neutral as all the while there is the apperceptive wonder that this marvellous paradise actually exists in all its vast array’. (Abditorium, Mind in Neutral). You might like this quote for even more marvelling in your sensuous contemplations – • [Richard]: Sensuousness is the wondrous awareness of the marvel of being here now at this moment in time and this place in space. Attentiveness is the fascination of the reflective contemplation that this moment is one’s only moment of being alive – and one is never alive at any other time than now. Wherever one is … now … one is always here … now … even if one starts walking over to ‘there’ … now … along the way to ‘there’ … now … one is always here ... now … and when one arrives ‘there’ … now ... it too is here … now. Thus attentiveness is an attraction to the fact that one is always here – and it is already now – and as one is already here and it is always now then one has arrived before one starts. This delicious wonder fosters the innate condition of naiveté (which is the closest one can get to innocence) the nourishing of which is essential if the charm of it all is to occur. The potent combination of attentiveness – fascinated reflective contemplation – and sensuousness produces apperception, which happens when the mind becomes aware of itself. One is intimately aware that this physical space of this universe is infinite and its time is eternal ... thus the infinitude of this very material universe has no beginning and no ending and therefore no middle. There are no edges to this universe, which means that there is no centre, either. We are all coming from nowhere and are not going anywhere for there is nowhere to come from nor anywhere to go to. We are nowhere in particular ... which means we are anywhere at all. In the infinitude of the universe one finds oneself to be already here, and as it is always now, one can not get away from this place in space and this moment in time. By being here as-this-body one finds that this moment in time has no duration as in now and then – because the immediate is the ultimate – and that this place in space has no distance as in here and there – for the relative is the absolute. In other words: One is already here as it is always now. (Richard’s Journal, 1997, Appendix Five). Cheers Vineeto December 14 2024 CLAUDIU: Hahahaha, here I was thinking and wondering that I had finally figured out the last steps, the thing to do near the end of the journey to become free — sensuousness — that would only apply at this late stage but that I had finally gotten to that point … … And it’s what Richard had been doing from the very start :) Certainly puts a dent in me thinking I am somehow ‘good’ at this :) Funnily enough when I did have that rock solid PCE, I wondered if Richard’s 4-hour PCE, that started ‘his’ journey, was of that wondrous nature … as it would explain why ‘he’ went all the way, with that as his guiding light! It’s not to say I didn’t have PCEs before but that one really stands out … In any case it doesn’t make sense to beat myself up about it. It’s not like I haven’t put a lot of energy into this in the past years! But the human condition is tricky, very wily. It’s more a testament to how tricky it is, when the way to become free is plainly spelled out and still takes so long to fully appreciate it! Rather than feel bad about it I will use this energy to not waste the opportunity now! VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, First of all, we all were wasting our time to become free. Even Richard said, once he became free, that he could have done that years ago but procrastinated because he anticipated a difficult period afterwards. It’s just when it happens, or is about to happen, it seems so easy, so smooth, and nothing really happens except that a phantom ‘self’ disintegrates like a soap bubble, and one wonders what all the fuss was about. Well, it’s the passions which ‘make all the fuss’, especially the very tenacious passionate instincts for ‘self’-survival. And you nevertheless can pat yourself on the back that you figured it out this far, because the human condition is indeed very “tricky, very wily” and very, very cunning and weird to boot. Also, everyone needs to figure it out for themselves. Here is what I quoted recently – Richard: And had I been some other person in some other context the salutary realisation would have been different too ... meaning that only the particular person can know what they must do – and they will not know what that is until it happens – and when they do know what to do it will be too late to stop the happening. Hence all the procrastination – it means the end of ‘me’ – because it can, and will, happen just here right now. [emphasis added]. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 94a, 30 December 2005). I never found a description of Richard’s 4 hr PCE, which set it all in motion but here is one outstanding description where during a PCE he experienced being the senses only – Richard: ‘I remember the first time I experienced being the senses only during a peak experience. There was no identity as ‘I’ thinking or ‘me’ feeling ... simply this body ambling across a grassy field in the early-morning light. A million dew-drenched spider-webs danced a sparkling delight over the verdant vista and a question that had been running for some weeks became experientially answered: without the senses I would not know that I exist. And further to this: I was the senses and the senses were me. With this comes an awareness of being conscious ... apperception’. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Alan, #pce). It’s strange, I only wrote the sequence of the actualism method the way I did in order to give you confirmation that you are definitely on the spot by choosing sensuousness to concentrate on, whereas for you it “puts a dent in me thinking I am somehow ‘good’ at this.” A well, never mind. Cheers Vineeto December 15 2024 VINEETO: It’s strange, I only wrote the sequence of the actualism method the way I did in order to give you confirmation that you are definitely on the spot by choosing sensuousness to concentrate on, whereas for you it “puts a dent in me thinking I am somehow ‘good’ at this.” A well, never mind. CLAUDIU: Well there is more to it. I was thrilled to see that I was on the right track – which is indeed indicative of having a good grasp of what I’m doing. But what was injured was my… intellectual pride!! […] In other words my intellectual pride was injured, that it took me so long to see something that was so plainly written and so simple. Of course, thinking about it sensibly, it is understandable. The human condition is very weird and tricky and cunning indeed. But the reaction was valuable to really get this bugger by the throat! […] I’m actually having trouble thinking why I was holding on to this pride now. I eventually just saw that it was just a choice of if I want to continue being that way or not! And I decided that no, I don’t want to be. And that appears to have been the end of it haha. It really felt a lot more dramatic at the time but writing it now it sounds so simple. […] VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Thank you for explaining the “dent” in detail, and I am pleased you found those features of your psyche to explore satisfactorily and also recognized how they were stacked on top of each other so that you had to discover/ resolve them in sequence. First, a dent in your intellectual pride … wondering why it took you so long to discover the significance of sensuosity. Richard: ‘I remember the first time I experienced being the senses only during a peak experience. There was no identity as ‘I’ thinking or ‘me’ feeling ... simply this body ambling across a grassy field in the early-morning light. A million dew-drenched spider-webs danced a sparkling delight over the verdant vista and a question that had been running for some weeks became experientially answered: without the senses I would not know that I exist. And further to this: I was the senses and the senses were me. With this comes an awareness of being conscious ... apperception’. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Alan, #pce). Maybe you noticed when clicking on the link that Richard’s being-the-senses-only-PCE happened during his enlightenment period and was introduced with “If I had not been taken in by delusions of grandeur I would have paid particular notice of experiences like this one”. Hence his comment that “a question that had been running for some weeks became experientially answered: without the senses I would not know that I exist.” [emphasis added]. From this you can see the enlightened ‘Richard’ was similarly hamstrung by dominant passions to give sufficient attention to sensuousness at the time. Maybe this goes some way to at least restore your confidence, rather than pride, in your capacity for sagacity. CLAUDIU: But I was continuing to get frustrated and spinning out, and suddenly I realize that… I was resenting being alive! I dug into it more and I labelled what I was experiencing as that “basic resentment” that Richard talked about identifying way early on, on his path. I was able to compare that feeling of resentment with the superlatively mirificent recent PCE, and … was able to basically just totally reject and get rid of that resentment! […] I contemplated a lot about resentment, it’s not like I ignored the topic. But I really get the sense that I only got rid of this basic resentment now. […] And suddenly it clicked, I would not have admitted that so readily and smoothly if that intellectual pride was still in place! I would be trying to defend my pride instead. So perhaps this explains why I was never really able to get rid of that basic resentment before – because I’d have to admit I didn’t, and I would feel foolish (lol). […] There is a simplicity and peace that is the default now. In the past I always felt like I had to ‘work’ to some degree to stave off spiralling towards feeling bad. But that seems to have ended now. It’s really a lot simpler! […] VINEETO: Underneath this intellectual pride you found a feeling of so far undetected basic resentment, which could not have been discovered without getting rid of this intellectual pride first. And both of them were instrumental for not having discovered the significance of sensuosity earlier. Ha, someone recently compared the actualism method to peeling an onion. This in turn will increase your ability to being naïve because there is no more reputation to lose, or is there? CLAUDIU: Putting it together with today it is that being free would be a guarantee that I will only do what is sensible – which is wonderful. VINEETO: Ha, I think that your appreciation of infinitude (“being free”) is too limited. The universe is much more than sensible … and so is an actually free person, being ultimately the universe’s experience of itself as an apperceptive human being (sans identity). Here are a few descriptions of what one is when actually free from Richard’s Journal (edited for brevity) – Richard: Actual perfection and excellence is free. It is the freely available bonus of daring to be me. Unadorned I stand on my own; more free than a bird on the wing and cleaner than a sea-breeze on a sweltering summer’s day. To be me is to be fresh, each moment again. Owing nothing to no one I am free from corruption … perversity has vanished forever. Unpolluted as I am by any alien entity, my thoughts and my deeds are automatically graceful. Goodwill, freed of social morality, comes effortlessly to me for all internal conflict is over. I am gentle and peaceful in character. […] One’s native intelligence […] is free to operate with an actual sagacity … sensible, rational thought enables one to live freely in this world of people, things and events. This is a tremendous universe in all its workings … this physical world we humans live in is magnificent, to say the least. […] … it is a sensual delight to walk freely in this, the actual world. This actual – this sensate and organic – experience of being here now, living my life so happily and harmlessly, remains unsurpassed in the annals of the history of humankind […] With peace comes benignity and benevolence. I simply have no desire, no urge, no compulsion – and no need – to hurt the other, or anyone else. I have discovered that it is possible to be free. I have found the joy of being me. Freed by pure intent from the very necessary social constraints – designed to control a wayward ego and a compliant soul – I can have generosity of character without striving. Pleasingly, I can take no credit for being kind, for it comes automatically. (Richard’s Journal, Article Twelve) Pure contemplation is not thinking ‘about’ something … which is the usual way of thought. Pure contemplation does not take a duration of time. It is instant thought, a realisation, a flash of seeing. In pure contemplation ‘I’ do no thinking ... thinking does itself. ‘I’ have no substance, therefore in pure contemplation there is thinking without a ‘thinker’. Thought operates freely ... and in immaculate wonder. Pure contemplation is a state of unsullied wonderment: “how can this world happen?”, or “what is this universe doing here?”, or “where does this body come from?” […] All is self-generating ... and so exquisitely intricate. This is actual intimacy. To be actually intimate is to be without the separative identity. I am not apart from the universe … I am the universe experiencing itself. […] It is inevitable that this pure intimacy prevails in the actual for in actual freedom lies benignity; which literally means to be kindly, gentle, harmless, propitious. (Richard’s Journal, Article Fourteen) As you can see there is much, much more to being actually free than “a guarantee that I will only do what is sensible”. Cheers Vineeto December 17 2024
| VINEETO: From this you can see the enlightened ‘Richard’ was similarly hamstrung by dominant passions to give sufficient attention to sensuousness at the time. Maybe this goes some way to at least restore your confidence, rather than pride, in your capacity for sagacity. CLAUDIU: Yeeees, I may have been being a bit… … melodramatic. Before I pinned down the basic resentment I even had a bout of feeling like all is lost, I’m so bad at this, I will never succeed… I really felt that! But I was able to take a step back and say ok, sensibly speaking, this doesn’t make sense, I’ve factually progressed and learned quite a bit. Once I came back to my senses I realized what I was doing and thought this was a good way to characterize it: In hindsight it may have been pride’s flip-side, humility, rearing its head for a last hurrah – which by now it, too, appears to be vastly diminished if not gone!
VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, This is excellent – all your ‘skeletons’ are now revealing themselves one after the other. There is no other way. Whenever we (associates of Richard) had a plan for any enterprise for the future bigger than going for a boat-ride, Richard never argued pros and cons with insufficient information available but suggested to make it as actual as possible, meaning to proceed, as far as possible, as if it was actually going to happen. This not only did provide more practical information but, even more importantly, brought out the involved people’s hopes and concerns and possible hidden objections for the planned project. This is exactly what you are doing – and what a treasure trove of discoveries you make! Ha, and what a wonderfully funny image you found for it. CLAUDIU: With that being said I appreciate your follow-up here. I did mistakenly come away with the impression that ‘Richard’ knew immediately what to do from the get-go, sensuousness, and immediately started succeeding with it. That is true in a sense, he was able to eliminate anger and basic resentment within 3 weeks. But it took him 11 years or so to eventually succeed… and what you pointed out indicates that ‘his’ process of figuring it out and going through it has similarities, basically ‘he’ was just ‘human’ as well and not some ‘superhuman’. That being said he is more than just a regular ‘human’, he was the first to discover this is possible and bring it into the world… when I repeatedly read it over many years the plain facts of what to do and how to do it and what it is, it still takes time to sink in and to actually do it, and here he was, without any guide written, and yet he managed to do it anyway! Remarkable and not something I would have been able to do, I wouldn’t be the first – but of course, I don’t have to be! VINEETO: Yes, I did have the impression that you misunderstood – for instance, I only quoted that Richard started with “to deliberately imitate the actual” and you took it that ‘he’ started with sensuousness. Yes, “basically ‘he’ was just ‘human’” and Richard emphasized this on several occasions – Richard: This is very important, because people can put themselves down only too easily as being not good enough, not intelligent enough or not capable enough. I am not gifted or special ... I was born of ordinary parents, was sent to an ordinary state school – receiving an average education until I was fifteen years of age – took an ordinary job and worked for a living. I eventually got married and had four children and bought a house and ... in short, I was relatively normal and did all the expected things. Thus did I live my life for thirty two years according to the ‘tried and true’ methods as laid down by the countless millions of other humans that had lived before me. I tried my best to make their system work to produce the optimum result ... but to no avail. Only then did I make the first and most important movement of my own volition ... I discarded the ‘tried and true’ as being the ‘tried and failed’. (I did say ‘I was relatively normal’ because one thing, and one thing alone, stood out that distinguished me from whomsoever else I met: I wanted to know – as an actuality – just what it was to be a human being here on this planet, as this body, in this life-time.) (Richard, List A, No. 26). And ‘he’ was determined to find out, dedicated to make actuality a lived experience 24 hrs a day, no matter what, able to use ‘his’ ‘native human intelligence’ and, most important of all, ‘giving up’ was not in ‘his’ vocabulary. Richard was also very, very thorough (before and after self-immolation), and I came to observe this and marvel at it whenever he researched something in every single topic he inquired into, including precise vocabulary. I fully agree I would have never been able to be the first, but then nobody else ever needs to be – an actual freedom is already here (discovered, lived, reported and explained by the “genitor”). (Richard, List D, Claudiu, 19 February 2012). And consequently, an actual freedom is now so much easier to eventually become apparent for each pioneer. As you rightly say – “it still takes time to sink in”. Richard refers to this time as a gestation period, as in, some insight or realisation may need some time simmering in the background before it is ready to be actualized. Naiveté turned up to its full extent will see you through to the very (welcome and blessed) oblivion. Cheers Vineeto December 17 2024 CLAUDIU: Today I had some time and I was again contemplating on having it happen, actually self-immolating… the thing that I have come to see is this. That really, there is no way to self-immolate other than ‘me’ actually self-immolating. It sounds tautological, but… what I mean is: all of ‘me’ has to actually go away, and disappear, entirely, and forever. A lot of what I have been up to seems to be to try to sneakily get around this requirement, like maybe a part of ‘me’ can keep going and then only most of ‘me’ will go away. But, that is not so. VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Ha, including ‘Claudiu’s’ sensibleness? As in – CLAUDIU: Putting it together with today it is that being free would be a guarantee that I will only do what is sensible – which is wonderful. It might have to make way to share the stage when “naiveté ramped up to 1000%” wants to play its part. CLAUDIU: So it’s a matter of cleanly and clearly separating out what is ‘me’, and what is actual… and what is ‘me’, all of ‘me’, agreeing to disappear, forever, for the benefit of that which is far superior, namely, actuality! And, wondrously of all, I came to see that ‘I’ actually want this! ‘I’ can and am willing to give myself up for that which is superior! And this just feels so amazingly good – and not in an ecstatic way, but rather, in a naive way. It is like naiveté ramped up to 1000%. It just feels so light, wondrous, and carefree, to give myself up like this! The way forward is clearly delineated by this direction – all of ‘me’, gladly and cheerfully giving ‘myself’ up! Like the actual feeling of getting on board with that is a wondrous and naive feeling, the affective hedonic tone is remarkable positive, it is just actually fun and wondrous to feel this way! All of ‘me’ getting on board. [dancing man]. VINEETO: This is really and truly wonderful to behold. CLAUDIU: Later in the day I was having a convo with two people and there was a lot of cross-talk and I wasn’t able to get out something that I really wanted to say. I had such a powerful reaction that I was floored and reeled. I got so amazingly annoyed! It was like a deep, burning annoyance. I kept my hands in my pockets and apparently it didn’t show, but this was such a deep annoyance, like it hit at my very core – and over such a trivial thing! It was remarkable though that I was not annoyed at being annoyed, or beating myself up for feeling annoyed… I was allowing the annoyance, letting myself fully feel it, neither expressing nor repressing. And this helped me to see the shape of it, the shape of ‘me’. This remarkably deep and solid-feeling thing, like a rod of annoyance haha. It made it all the more clear that all of me, indeed, has to go! VINEETO: Annoyance, as in “irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, crossness, displeasure, chagrin, pique, aggravation, ire, nuisance, pest, bother, inconvenience, menace, headache, hassle, pain in the neck …” (Oxford Dictionary). It is remarkable how many synonyms this particular emotion has, bearing witness to the fact that it plays a dominant part in feeling beings’ lives. It is fortuitous that it has fully come out in the open now and you can deal with it once and for all. Isn’t it marvellous that after pride/humility is gone there is nothing more to hide. Cheers Vineeto December 17 2024 CLAUDIU: This post was awesome so I just wanted to link to it here. Vineeto: Good day Ian, I don’t know if you heard, there is a serious mental health warning regarding a new, very contagious virus called “naiveté”. It is highly contagious because it has been discovered that it spreads on the psychic network via happy and harmless vibes such as is happening already on this forum and is therefore not restricted to only local outbreaks of the disease. It is something entirely new in the real world. Even though children display certain symptoms when young, they soon grow … (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Ian, 16 December 2024). VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, I am pleased you recognized how significant this post was and hereby giving me the opportunity to expand on it. I think many people missed the main thrust taking it merely for a nice joke. Joking aside, what I realized and wanted to express was that now there is a sufficient quantity of people having recognized the transformative role that naiveté plays in their actualism practice and actualized it in their lives, there is a contagious atmosphere which even more actualists can benefit from. Here is a private feedback I received yesterday, within the hour of publishing – “By the way, a great report on the contagious virus. :-) (…) Until just before starting to read it, I was actually feeling a bit serious/ sombre due to an ongoing digestive discomfort. But half-way through reading it, something changed – all the while the physical discomfort was still happening, I started feeling better, becoming more sensuous and appreciating it all. There was a long-held assumption that I had to be physically healthy in order to move forward in actualism, but this assumption was finally put to rest.” I invite everyone to read the various member’s reports again with open eyes and a receptive attitude. There is indeed a psychic network which can play a beneficial role in spreading the felicitous and innocuous feeling including naiveté around the globe. (It also answers Kuba’s question if ‘I’ am indeed “meaningless”). This is not fantasy but very real, just as real as ‘me’. The key to naiveté is sincerity. Naiveté opens the door to pure intent and thus to more enjoyment and appreciation. It eases the way to dealing with occurring obstacles and it makes life and the whole actualism process fun, and it is essential for eventually allowing one going out-from-control. “Naiveté located betwixt the core of being and the sexual centre (where one is both likeable and liking) – is attached as if with a golden thread or clew to the purity of actual innocence” (Library, Topics, Virtual Freedom). And it is contagious. Being naiveté itself, as a state of being is the most wonderful way of being alive whilst ‘getting ready’ for the ultimate step. Viz.: Richard: “To be naïveté itself (i.e., naïveté embodied as a childlike persona with adult sensibilities), which is to be the closest one can to innocence whilst remaining a ‘self’ (innocence is where ‘self’ is not), one is both likeable and liking for herewith lies tenderness and/or sweetness and togetherness and/or closeness whereupon moment-to-moment experiencing is of traipsing through the world about in a state of wide-eyed wonder and amazement as if a child again (guileless, artless, ingenuous, innocuous) – yet with adult sensibilities whereby the distinction betwixt being naïve and being gullible is readily separable – simply marvelling at the sheer magnificence of this oh-so-material universe’s absoluteness and unabashedly delighting in its boundless beneficence, its limitless largesse, as being the experiencing is inherently cornucopian (due to the near-absence of agency which ensues when the controlling doer is abeyant and the naïve beer is ascendant), with a blitheness and a gaiety such that the likelihood of the magical fairy-tale-like nature of this paradisaical terraqueous globe, this bounteously verdant and azure planet, becoming ever-so-sweetly apparent, as an experiential actuality, is almost always imminent.” (Tooltip, A Clay-Pit Tale) As for felicitous, innocuous and naïve feelings being contagious as psychic vibes, here is a possible scenario for you – Richard: I cannot stress enough how, with a [methodological] virtual freedom being more or less the norm worldwide, global amity and equity would be an on-going state of affairs’. (Library, Topics, Virtual Freedom). Cheers Vineeto December 18 2024 CLAUDIU: A lot of what I have been up to seems to be to try to sneakily get around this requirement, like maybe a part of ‘me’ can keep going and then only most of ‘me’ will go away. But, that is not so. VINEETO: Ha, including ‘Claudiu’s’ sensibleness? As in – CLAUDIU: Putting it together with today it is that being free would be a guarantee that I will only do what is sensible – which is wonderful. VINEETO: It might have to make way to share the stage when “naivete ramped up to 1000%” wants to play its part. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Claudiu3, 17 December 2024a) CLAUDIU: Just to address this briefly – when I wrote that “Putting it together with today it is that being free would be a guarantee that I will only do what is sensible – which is wonderful” I see that I improperly mixed two different insights that on their own I think are more sensible. The first one was that, although I can choose to do anything including things that make no sense – it only makes sense to do that subset of things that is sensible. So choosing between silly and sensible is already restricting the full range of what ‘I’ do, in a sense – but not restricting as in by moral fiat, but rather because it’s willingly only doing those things that make sense! So in this way, to be actually free would not be a moral imposition, as by becoming free I lose the ability to do a lot of silly things indeed (like become upset, angry, and irate), but this is not a loss because it doesn’t make sense to do those things anyway. The second one was, on a later day, while naiveté was a bit far and I was approaching finding that basic resentment, that although it was not appealing to me to enjoy and be naive at that moment (!), nevertheless it was appealing to me to no longer be malicious or sorrowful. That was something worthwhile to pursue, from where I was at that point I genuinely wanted that. And I saw that to become actually free would be a guarantee that malice and sorrow would never come back – and I wanted that guarantee! VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Yes, that makes perfect sense, especially that you wanted the “guarantee that malice and sorrow would never come back”, which had prevented naiveté coming to the fore again. The sagacity of clear assessments of what is silly and what is sensible has indeed brought you to the point where you are now, the jumping-off point. As you said in the previous post to Kuba – Kuba: What ‘I’ am as an instinctual ‘being’ was indeed necessary to get life thus far, that was ‘my’ job. But the thing is that this job has already been completed. Claudiu: Yes, exactly. The purpose has been completed but ‘I’ still continue. However, something else is now required to complete the journey into the unknown, else ‘I’ will fill the gap with more puzzles to be solved via silly and sensible options. That something is what you described as “like naiveté ramped up to 1000%”, which, being non-serious, is easily able to sweep out all possible cobwebs of objections with a giggle and a light-hearted laughter. Viz.: Geoffrey: But there was a last second resistance: My precious! I will not give away my precious! Later on the way back, I was thinking about this ‘precious’ thing, how only here on this tiny planet right now there are 7 billion people just as ‘unique’ and ‘precious’ as my self, when it clicked… and I burst into laughter. This was simply hilarious. Everybody is so precious. I must then be SO precious hahaha. […]. There was the actual world just right there in front of me, obviously existing, pure and perfect, and then there was ‘me’, ‘humanity’. The contrast was simply hilarious. I can’t describe how hilarious this contrast was. What we’ve all been doing forever and ever, on a ridiculous parade of malice and sorrow, with the greatest seriousness. (Becoming Free Reports, Geoffrey) All I am suggesting is to shift the focus. Interestingly enough, the only antonym to ‘sensible’ from Oxford Languages is ‘foolish’, and being naïve can easily be conflated with feeling foolish, and yet this very ‘feeling foolish’ can open the door to even more naiveté. It also means not being serious, being artless, guileless and ingenuous, like a child again without being gullible. This naiveté, because it “is attached as if with a golden thread or clew to the purity of actual innocence” (Library, Topics, Virtual Freedom). will draw you inevitably to “becoming the manifestation of this innocence here on earth”. (Tooltip, A Clay-Pit Tale) Of course, it does not mean that being sensible is superfluous or non-existent in actuality. However, once you are innocent, i.e. free from malice and sorrow, making the distinction between silly and sensible is rarely required. It’s all rather obvious. CLAUDIU: It is truly wondrous to contemplate and to be on this path VINEETO: It is equally truly wondrous to be witness to your walking this path to freedom. Only few people have been so forthcoming and eloquent with ongoing reports about their journey, and it is delightful to read each one of them. Cheers Vineeto December 26 2024 KUBA: When I first noticed this it was shortly after I stepped out from control and I noticed this incredible way in which things were proceeding. Where Vineeto would write something that seemed like the next step for ‘me’ to proceed to, surely enough the next day I found that things were happening in exactly that way. It made me wonder whether ‘I’ was already “there” so to speak, and so whether she wrote something or not I would have ended up in the same place anyways. Or was the acknowledgement of what she was writing somehow ushering me to proceed in this new direction, or was it a mix of it all. But this is where it gets kind of mind boggling trying to suss out the cause and effect relationships. CLAUDIU: There’s certainly a question of like, can ‘I’ actually do anything to proceed further? Do I actually do it, enable it, or would it happen the same regardless? Ultimately I put it down to, I do what I can. I definitely appear to have some influence over whether I am proceeding or not – but then there’s just serendipitous moments like the PCE I wrote about recently, that happened unplanned, I was just naively curious about this sensuousness thing and boom, there it happened! Ultimately maybe it’s just about setting the stage and being willing, and then the universe does it. VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Yes and no. The ‘universe’, i.e. pure intent, can only have it happen when there is not a single objection left. By moving as close as you can to make ‘self’-immolation an actual event, ‘you’ bring out in the open any objection which might be lurking in the depth of your ‘being’. As you know from your previous explorations, this is not a dispassionate affair. And in the meanwhile you are ‘being naiveté’ and as sensuous as you can be. KUBA: So yes in the end I am left with this word synchronicity and the realisation that ‘I’ clearly cannot do it unaided. CLAUDIU: Pure intent is with us all the way. Vineeto is helpful because she is pure intent, personified! She is actually the universe experiencing itself as a flesh-and-blood body called Vineeto, doing whatever she can to assist others. She cannot do it for us – but I agree that, Vineeto, your participation has been wondrous and magical here! Everything is unfolding rather delightfully all-in-all. I get a sense once in a while that something much bigger than I am consciously aware of is happening, and I am only directly experiencing a small part of it, my own perspective. VINEETO: And isn’t this wonderful, both the ‘glimpses’ of “something much bigger” and the magical mystery to be revealed on arrival in the actual world! CLAUDIU: It will all be cleared in hindsight I am sure – rather than try to suss and figure it all out now, it seems most sensible to proceed as full speed ahead as I can, have it all happen, and then once free or even fully free, we can reflect on what happened and piece it together, if not already obvious by then. VINEETO: Yes – and as much as I am the universe experiencing itself as a conscious sensate human being sans identity, so is your flesh-and-blood body and you can experience this when you invite sensuosity and naiveté and allow what happens next. It will give you more and more confirmation that this is where you want to be for the rest of your life, no matter what the cost. CLAUDIU: Otherwise it’s putting the cart before the horse, trying to figure out what role I am having in people becoming free before anybody new actually did it haha, this would be silly. VINEETO: Ha, you just shot Kuba’s last objection (Actualism, ActualVineeto, Kuba, 26 December 2024) to pieces. He did resurrect it, though. Cheers Vineeto
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