Please note that Vineeto’s correspondence below was written by the actually free Vineeto
Vineeto’s Correspondence with Srinath (Slack) Continued from Richard’s Mailing List ‘D’, Srinath December 4, 2018 SRINATH: Dear Vineeto and Richard, I have just posted up a report on Slack [actualist discussion group] and Yahoo Groups. I have been actually free since Nov 3rd 2018 and wanted to write you both and thank you for did for ‘me’ over the years that eventually allowed me to escape my fate and fulfil my destiny. Or perhaps I should say appreciate all you have done since there is no feeling of indebtedness anymore :) […] It is so deliciously amazing being here now. It is totally unimaginable and unbelievable as Richard has correctly said. It is quite freaky sometimes how giganormously vast this universe is such that it takes my breath away. I get intimations of infinitude and I am sure the definitive experience of it is on the horizon. I feel like my brain has been ‘uncapped’ and the magnificent universe – as oppose to ‘self’ and ‘other’ is my preoccupation. My body and mind are sometimes suffused with pleasure and expansiveness such that it is too much and I have to back away! I’ve been having a whale of a time just living my life for the last month or so. I’ve been having a fantastic time also comparing notes with Geoffrey and No 9(AF). The relationship with my girlfriend is like night and day. I’m like this big happy kid, that wants for her happiness. There is a delicious intimacy. Prior to this I was a grudging boyfriend, who often tolerated her and occasionally felt guilty enough to try and make a romantic gesture. I would love to hear more about being fully free. But for now I am content to just enjoy and enjoy some more. The utter safety, spaciousness and stillness I am experiencing is truly something remarkable. Yours actually ;) VINEETO: Dear Srinath, Wow, what wonder-ful news ! Thank you for your message (and your online report, of course). [...] Your online report is an amazing extensive how-to-do-it description if there ever was and it has the common and individual aspects detailed really well. The most outstanding common aspect is, of course, sincerity. It is highly likely that your success will inspire a few more people to escape their fate and fulfil their destiny, just like you got inspiration and confirmation that an actual freedom is possible from Geoffrey’s report. . A domino effect might well have started and as you said – “I really think that the global spread of peace on earth is a possibility.” December 7, 2018 SRINATH: Dear Vineeto, It is so good to hear from you. I am so at ease now writing to you as an actually free person, minus all the trepidation and emotions I have had communicating with you in the past. [...] I really would love to hear your thoughts on the following: The clarity and safety I have now is truly remarkable. There seem to be something like expansions and contractions in my field of consciousness. There are times – say when I am tired and interacting a lot with difficult patients under deadlines at work where the experience of perfection is clearly diminished. But this doesn’t last long, it rolls off me very quickly into states of really ‘deep’ magical apperception. On occasions I seem to be on verge of having a definitive experience of infinitude, but it is too much and I withdraw. I was wondering whether this is a social identity thing and whether you have any thoughts about this as per your own past experience? I have read your writings about ‘the guardian’. I noticed that you reached became fully free, not too long after you became newly free. I have read your report of how you sat with Richard after he returned from his India trip. Does becoming fully free require contact with yourself or Richard? If not, how would you suggest that a newly free person becomes fully free? Prior to becoming free, I was wondering whether I would be able to relate to anything my patients said after self-immolation. I thought maybe I might just scratch my head and go “Hmm that’s some feeling being stuff. Don’t really connect with that anymore, sorry!’ Instead I am finding that with ‘me’ out of the way, it is much easier to sit with my patients and their troubled thoughts and feelings. Before, there I would need to take care as I would get pushed around by vibes and ‘my’ own feeling reactions. There is an exquisite attunement to them. I am wondering whether this ability to relate goes once one is fully free? I was joking to No. 15(D) and Geoffrey that perhaps I should only become fully free after retirement (!) Cheers, VINEETO: Hi Srinath, Good to hear back from you. I am sure that now, being free from the instinctual passions and the feeling being formed thereof, you will much easier consider the consequences of all your words and actions on the other person – they have all become fellow human beings for you, rather than being friend or foe, ally or opponent, as is the default setting for feeling beings. […] I am fascinated to read how you fare as a psychiatrist with your patients after your ‘psychic suicide’! An actual intimacy is now happening, what you call an “exquisite attunement“, and of course that will still be operating for you at full actual freedom – it can’t be switched off. As for how I would suggest that a basically free person becomes fully free – you have already pointed to the key when you wrote – Srinath: “On occasions I seem to be on verge of having a definitive experience of infinitude, but it is too much and I withdraw.” It is the experience of infinitude and the utter purity of its perfection, with not a smidgen of ‘dirt’, that are the characteristics of a full actual freedom. You allow it to happen as much as you can bear, gently, again and again, and if you find any hang-ups, look at them and let them dissolve. Infinitude is big, really big, it also takes time to get accustomed to more and more of it. Of course, becoming fully free doesn’t require contact with Richard or myself – how could we personally assist potentially 7 billion people to become fully free! Cheers Vineeto December 18, 2018 SRINATH: Dear Vineeto, Yes it is rather ironic, being an actually free psychiatrist! I think it is very helpful. Perhaps even essential as long as mental health workers are required on this planet. Some months prior to becoming free I was given a joke award by my students, ‘most alternative psychiatrist’ and I thought ‘you have no idea!’ Many of my patients are so far away from being able to even acknowledge and own their feelings. They project them outwardly or completely split themselves into psychotic states. Actualism does require a radical ownership of one’s feelings. But I think that some of them could definitely benefit from it. VINEETO: You are indeed the ‘most alternative psychiatrist’ – very perceptive students ! I agree about the benefits of people learning to own their feelings or even better, to acknowledge that they *are* their feelings. Only then they can will be able to make a choice about how they feel. * VINEETO: It is the experience of infinitude and the utter purity of its perfection, with not a smidgen of ‘dirt’, that are the characteristics of a full actual freedom. You allow it to happen as much as you can bear, gently, again and again, and if you find any hang-ups, look at them and let them dissolve. Infinitude is big, really big, it also takes time to get accustomed to more and more of it. SRINATH: Thanks for that. It is exactly what I have started doing. When I first became free it seemed like I was always on the threshold of that ‘big, really big’ universe about to break through all the time, with exquisite apperception being the default state. It was quite intense actually, my entire body was tingling and I was quite stimulated. Over time things have become more ordinary in a sense, but with surges into that heightened apperceptive state with the ‘flavour’ of infinitude. My guess is that I have retreated to the social identity ‘sand pit’ to play - where it is safe and familiar. VINEETO: I can relate to that, from my early days of being newly free. Then, when interacting with people and the world at large I found that I used at first some familiar (habituated) feeling-being patterns but becoming aware of it made me think anew. Quite an adventure. SRINATH: There are times when I encounter feeling-like states but without emotion. It seems that out of sheer habit I can go back into identity but this time things are more illusory. It’s like the prison door is open, but I still find myself wandering back into the cell and sitting there! I can see through these states using the same techniques of actualism method and investigation. They quickly melt away into thin air. Prior to becoming free, this sort of ‘seeing through’ would only be wishful thinking as I kept running into the visceral ‘me’ that refused to go away. VINEETO: Yes, I can relate to that as well. At first, I thought I still had feelings, was not free after all, until I tried to look inside and noticed these were mental creations (as in re-enactments) with no feelings attached to them – in fact there was no inside to even look at. What happened at your pivotal moment is that the instinctual passions and the feeling-being formed thereof ceased to exist. The social identity however, being a product of socialization and acculturation, and therefore not instinctual, is still extant. Various aspects of it will become apparent as you go about your normal life – hence your “social identity ‘sand pit’“ observation. I have written about this to Alan, which he published on Slack on April 29, 2018. You can find the correspondence here. (Vineeto to Alan, April 29, 2018) * VINEETO: Of course, becoming fully free doesn’t require contact with Richard or myself – how could we personally assist potentially 7 billion people to become fully free! SRINATH: Hehe of course. That sounds tiring! I thought as much but just wanted to double check. One thing I am curious about is why there are no other fully free people, if that is the case still. I am reading your previous writings on transitioning to full freedom with great interest. There you write ‘I was irrevocably giving up any trace of a private life, a personal life, and that my life from thereon was dedicated to becoming, being and doing whatever it takes to bring about a virtual/an actual freedom for everyone’. Is it that newly fell people having been reluctant to give up all trace of a private life and of identity? VINEETO: I don’t have an answer to your question about the other basically free people as the data pool is simply too small. Everyone proceeds according to their (individual) mettle and thus at their own pace. I gathered that you and Geoffrey and No. 15(D) are keen to go all the way, so you can compare notes and find out what works, allowing the purity of the perfection of infinitude to operate more and more. Cheers Vineeto January 1, 2019 SRINATH: Compliments of the season to you and Richard! VINEETO: Hi Srinath, Thank you and the same to you. SRINATH: Things are continuing for me in the much the same way. I am just seeing how this mental construction as ‘me’ i.e. the social identity, continues to operate. It seems like a ‘Lite’ version of ‘me’ – minus the visceral backing of emotions and feelings. From time to time it clears right away and the vastness of the universe becomes apparent. Then ‘Lite Srinath’ comes back again and veils everything. My MO is to investigate this remnant ‘me’ and get to know how it operates, seeing how much of it can be set aside gradually – keeping my new lodestone in mind i.e. that ambrosial, super-fresh, vast, still, openness of the infinitude of the universe that is the source of all that is. Right now the process seems to be a dance between allowing infinitude and exploring the ‘brake’ that is ‘the guardian’ or something similar to that. [Addendum]: Oh and this is something else I shared with No. 15(D) and Geoffrey on Slack recently: Periodically going into these states of heightened purity, where I am this body and the universes experience of itself – I realise that ‘I’ as social identity want to still run the show. The universe, the body – these are things that are quite alien to me, so I want to take the reins and be the micro-manager. The infinite, formless, genderless, shapeless universe that I am part of is too weird! It is safer this way. The socius is my buffer – a nice little cushion which I can use to shield myself from raw actuality. I am quite keen on still playing the pretend game of being ‘me’ in whatever form remains. It is the last hiding place. But of course it is not completely voluntary. It is a habitual thing also. It seems like socialising and thinking about people seems to have pronounced effect on weaving myself into being. A slight whiff of that social thing is enough to recreate the appearance of ‘Srinath’ once again. VINEETO: It is well observed – the social identity (even sans instinctual passions) not only wants to still run the show, it does. The longer you observe yourself in action the more you will see how it not only creates a ‘buffer’ for the direct experience of the actual world but endeavours to fit you back into humanity at large and your social group(s) in particular despite the ‘handicap’ of having no instinctual passions. As you can see it is back-ward oriented as it was formed while you were a feeling being to keep any excess of one’s instinctual passions in check. Personally, when I negotiated my way towards freedom from the (overall well-meaning but now inadequate) ‘guardian’ (i.e. the social identity), the main question was – will I be able to be safe and harmless without the guardian watching over me? So I checked myself out in interactions, in various social situations with the intent to determine if I would be safe, and harmless, without the rules and regulations (morals and ethics), preconceived notions and automated behaviour patterns – and eventually determined that I will be. Now that there are no instinctual passions, and no wayward feeling being, the role of the guardian is indeed obsolete. Once the guardian was fully satisfied as to this fact, it happily abdicated (as I have described in the paragraph you quoted below). SRINATH: From what I understood of your own process, full freedom required the abdication of ‘the guardian’ before you could fully allow infinitude and become fully free. VINEETO: Yes. SRINATH: I would like to ask you some questions about that process. On the AFT you wrote: [Vineeto]:“... By the time Richard returned from India, I was ready and eager to put the ‘guardian’ to rest, and move towards a full actual freedom, and Richard and I had many intensive conversations to bring this about sooner rather than later. ... About 6 weeks 9 days after Richard’s return a day came when, sitting at the dining table of his houseboat, I briefly experienced myself as two – the (shadow) identity of the guardian and the actual Vineeto. I experienced the relief of the guardian to be finally able to confidently lay down the burden of guarding over the newly-free Vineeto and then it faded with a sense of having a job well-done to the end and gladly being finally redundant. Suddenly there was only one me, the actual me, fresh and innocent, a bit like a kid alone in this wonderful playground of the actual world. I was still not fully free then, and many more things had to happen, but a decisive event had occurred to bring me closer to a full actual freedom.” (Vineeto to Alan, April 29, 2018) Q1 Would you say that this abdication was roughly analogous to self-immolation (you had no self to immolate then, so I know it could not have been the exact same process)? VINEETO: No, I never thought of it that way. The intent to become actually free had occasionally activated the full force of the ‘self’-survival instincts and the extent of cunning an identity is capable of. The process of having the guardian agree to the sagacity of its abdication was quite a rational reasoning process. However, should a basically free person abandon the pure intent to become fully free and thus become complacent and entrenched within the shadow identity of their social guardian they would be thinking and acting similar to their former self, but without the fierceness of the instinctual passions – like a toothless tiger. Then the very idea to have this newly established identity abdicate can produce some strong resistance. It’s a matter of one’s mettle, I suppose. Either way, the world would be a much more peaceful place if everyone became free from the instinctual passions and the feeling being formed thereof, even if they did not venture into a full, meaning-of-life, actual freedom (which is why it is called peace-on-earth freedom). Here is how I described my experiencing right after the moment of the abdication of the guardian on September 12, 2010 – [Vineeto]: “I was as if left on what appeared like a launching pad, and like a new-born child I slowly started to orient myself in this utterly new world. Apperception informs me of the stillness that is the very basis of the universe and that I am this very stillness. Stillness is the constant background to whatever event happens during my waking hours and all events arise and subside into this very stillness. A clarity in thinking operates effortlessly and apperception works exactly as I experienced at the moment of becoming free – all information gathered in my life from observation, thinking, learning and sensate experiencing is available as and when required while when not required my mind simply returns to neutral – and stillness becomes again apparent. Out of this stillness arises wonder, amazement and appreciation, and I am continuously marvelling at the magical perfection of this peerless universe.” (Private correspondence, November 2010). SRINATH: Q2 When you say ... ‘I was still not fully free then, and many more things had to happen’ ... can you give me an idea of what things had to happen? I know that you were interacting intensely with Richard after he returned from India. I was wondering if the experiences and investigation around those interactions constituted the bulk of the ‘many more things’. It seems like the definitive moment happened here in October 2010, about 9 1/2 months after you became actually free, if I am accurate about the times. VINEETO: Yes, the definite moment of becoming fully free happened on October 12, 2010. And yes, “the experiences and investigation around those interactions constituted the bulk of the ‘many more things’.” To refresh my memory I checked what I wrote in November 2010 about this period after the abdication of the guardian – [Vineeto]: Frequent interactions with Richard quite often resulted in glimpses of a greater depth to an actual freedom and at the time I called them windows into purity. Both Richard and I had noticed that when I described how I experienced myself, words such as the ‘immaculate purity’ and ‘pristine limpidness’ where not part of my vocabulary and, except for a few occasional glimpses, neither did I mention in my description experiencing the infinitude of this spatially infinite, temporally eternal and perpetually forming and changing universe, whereas Richard has described his experience of an actual freedom in such glowing terms like in one of my favourite excerpts from his journal – Richard: “There is something precious in living itself. Something beyond compare. Something more valuable than any “King’s ransom”. It is not rare gemstones; it is not singular works of art; it is not the much-prized bags of money; it is not the treasured loving relationships; it is not the highly esteemed Blissful States Of ‘Being’ ... ... it is not any of these things usually considered precious. There is something ultimately precious. It is the essential character of the infinitude of the universe … which is the life-giving foundation of all that is apparent. That something precious is me as-I-am ... me as I actually am as distinct from ‘me’ as ‘I’ really am. I am the universe’s experience of itself. The limpid and lucid perfection and purity of being here now, as-I-am, is akin to the crystalline perfection and purity seen in a dew-drop hanging from the tip of a leaf in the early-morning sunshine; the sunrise strikes the transparent dew-drop with its warming rays, highlighting the flawless correctness of the tear-drop shape with its bellied form. One is left almost breathless with wonder at the immaculate simplicity so exemplified ... and everyone I have spoken with has experienced this impeccable purity and perfection in some way or another at varying stages in their life. Is it not impossible to conceive – and just too difficult to imagine – that this is one’s essential character? One has to be daring enough to live it ... for it is both one’s audacious birth-right and adventurous destiny. When one lives the magical perfection of this purity twenty-four-hours-a-day; when one has ceased being ‘I’ and is being genuine, one can see clearly that there is no separation between me and that something which is precious. The purity of life emerges from the perfection that wells up constantly due to an immense stillness which is utterly immense in its scope and magnitude. This stillness of infinitude is that something which is precious. It is the life-giving foundation of all that is apparent. This stillness happens as me. This stillness is my essential disposition, for it is the principle character, the intrinsic basis of everything. It is this universe at its genesis. It is not, as it might commonly be supposed, at the centre of everything ... there is no centre here. This stillness, which is everywhere all at once, is the be all and end all of life itself. I am the universe experiencing itself as a sensate, reflective human being.” (Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Twenty-five) In the early months of this year [2010] I had plenty of opportunity to read Richard’s words describing the outstanding quality of an actual freedom while I was updating the website, replacing all footnotes with the new format of tool-tips and I became starkly aware of the vast gap of experiencing between his descriptions and my own experience of myself and the world around me.” After the abdication of the guardian I was one day ready to allow myself to fully (and permanently) experience the spatial infinitude of the universe. Here is the description of what happened – [Vineeto]: “The next significant event happened a week after my completion [the abdication of the guardian]. It began with an eerie sensation in the head as if my brain was being operated on whilst being fully conscious. After about 15 minutes or so there was a sensation as if my brain was being scattered throughout the universe. When I recovered from the experience itself enough to find out what actually happened, I noticed that I had lost my centre of reference (a discovery that left me quite disconcerted for about 2 weeks a week). Richard reported that in the days before he was able to existentially sense me as being close, very close, right in front of his eyes, so to speak, but that after this event he has been no longer able to sense me existentially. The direct result of losing the boundaries of my localized reference during this ‘brain-scattering’ event is that I am permanently apperceptively aware of the infinitude of the universe as infinite space, eternal time and perpetual matter.” (Private correspondence, November 29, 2010). I remember a similar profound disorientation (for a short period of time) after allowing to fully understand and experience the temporal infinitude of the universe. So, lots of adventures and discoveries are still to come after becoming basically free. SRINATH: [Vineeto]: “...After many interactions with Richard [after he arrived in Australia from India] in regards to moving my process forward the next event on the 19th of October [2010] was equally breathtaking – in an analogy to the film ‘Space Odyssey 2001’ I likened the experience to flying on a rocket ship into the sun, which luminosity purified the last skerrick of whatever remnants of ‘dust’ had hung around. My head was filled with the universe ablaze with light from infinity to infinity and the pristine purity of this infinite and eternal universe became instantly apparent. I was also distinctly aware that I could indeed find no trace of impurity in me ... ” (see Richard, List D, Rick, 11 February 2012, footnote) Q3 I suppose that the above event refers to you becoming fully free? VINEETO: Yes. Here is a description I sent in a private correspondence about 5 weeks afterwards (29 November 2010) – [Vineeto]: “Since then I experience myself as what I am, not just this physical body but with particular qualities to the experiencing which to my own surprise I called ‘what I always wanted to be/what I have always been’ even though I have never lived it. For an analogy of how I experience what I am at core I have to go into the Greek mythology where people’s imagination had populated nature with nymphs, inherent/chthonic to springs or trees or groves. This experience of myself is very light and playful, as if living naked in the wilderness, utterly on my own and undeniably undefined by either people or events. I described it as being innocence personified. Sensuosity, sensuality and sexuality are as much part of what I am just as sexuality and abundance are happening in nature everywhere. As such I am no different to a tree, a rock, a spring, a mountain or a distant star and can truly say that I am the universe experiencing itself as this flesh and blood body. I am here to play, play in this abundant effervescent universe, innocent for the first time, carefree in gay abandon, forever fulfilled and exquisitely aware each moment again of the magic of both nature and the wonderful intimacy that is possible with another human being. Needless to say that I am having the best time of my life … ” (Private correspondence, 29 November 29, 2010). SRINATH: Richard: “An existential event of some considerable significance in regard to this intent took place between 3:30 and 4:00 AM on the 28th of August 2011, for instance. For about three weeks prior to this she had been experiencing a near-constant pressure-pain in the nape of the neck, so she knew that something was imminent, as well as experiencing what she referred to as “an ambrosial immanence“ filling her up, in as much from time-to-time she could bear no more of it (such as to cause her to refrain from interacting intensively for two-three days until it dissipated) due to it being “too much“ or “too overwhelming“ for her. Then, at the moment she became essentially the same as me (how I have been, on my own, all these years) there was a tremendous upwards surge of that energetic immanence, in and around my head and shoulders region, of such a potency, of such a strength, as would previously on some occasion) render me utterly passive, completely immobile, and scarcely able to bear with It, to contain its immensity. On this occasion, however, It was able to flow freely it was as if a circuit had been formed betwixt the two of us and a second, equally potent, surge of that existential immanence followed the first (again in an upwardly direction in and around my head and shoulders region) a short while later. Regarding that reference to a circuit having been formed, I am reminded of first being shown, as a child in high school, how a magnet produces a magnetic field by holding a sheet of paper over it and sprinkling iron-filings upon its surface; as there is a potent field now operating as if the two of us, a male and a female, are the “north“ and “south“ poles of a magnet; alternatively, the effect could perhaps be likened to the “anode“ and “cathode“ of a battery generating an electric current and thus producing an electric field) when a circuit is completed. Be that as it may, those potent surges were of such a magnitude that a rather remarkable man on another continent experienced what he had earlier reported as being a “gentle energy“ (which he had further described, then, as being “totally harmless“) pouring into him, transfixing him in a sort of immobility (not of the body) and overwhelming him to such an extent that he communicated with me four days later, via email, and we were able to establish, with all due care taken in respect to time-zone differences, that the two events were congruent.” (Richard, List D, Claudiu, 9 February 2012) Q4 I was a little confused about this. At first I thought that it referred to your becoming fully free, as Richard said “Then, at the moment she became essentially the same as me (how I have been, on my own, all these years)“. But it seems that it occurred quite some time afterwards, unless I have got the dates wrong. Am I to understand this as something similar to the ‘quickening’ that Richard experienced? When Richard says ‘at the moment she became essentially the same as me’ – is he talking about a step beyond actual freedom?“ VINEETO: What Richard is talking about is the event when I became the same as Richard in order to make an actual freedom fully equitable – the first fully free male and the first fully free female. I became the same as Richard, energetically, as in the same fine gentle and potent energy flowed in and around both of us. The ‘quickening’ Richard experienced seems to have always been triggered when a person in his physical presence sincerely wants to join him in the actual world. I have experienced mild versions of it on one or two occasions – so having this capacity is related to me becoming (energetically) the same as Richard. Richard had already answered this, when he wrote to Claudiu, directly before and after the above quote you provide – RICHARD: (...) As the magical prodigy which became known as ‘the quickening’ is a feature peculiar to being the genitor of the completely new consciousness (a totally original way of being conscious) for all humankind to avail themselves of – via that enabling/ facilitating feature – (...) CLAUDIU: Which ‘enabling/ facilitating feature’ are you referring to? RICHARD: I am referring to that feature peculiar to being the genitor of the completely new consciousness (a totally original way of being conscious) for all humankind to avail themselves of ... to wit: the magical prodigy which became known as ‘the quickening’. CLAUDIU: Is that to say that ‘the quickening’ is something that has only happened, and will only ever happen, to the genitor of the completely new consciousness? RICHARD: Purely by virtue of being the first male to become actually free from the human condition it comes with the territory, so to speak, that there be a way of enabling/ facilitating access to the completely new consciousness (a totally original way of being conscious) for all humankind to avail themselves of. CLAUDIU: What prevents it from happening to Vineeto, for example? RICHARD: Given that she is the first female to become actually free from the human condition there is, of course, nothing to prevent it from happening to Vineeto. Indeed she has been interacting with me intensively with that very intention; an existential event of some considerable significance in regard to this intent took place … [snip report and 2 paragraphs] CLAUDIU: For example, if what you describe started happening to me ... RICHARD: Rest assured that what I describe – a feature peculiar to being the genitor of the completely new consciousness (a totally original way of being conscious) for all humankind to avail themselves of – will not start happening to you. (Richard, List D, Claudiu, 9 February 2012) Cheers Vineeto
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