Please note that Vineeto’s correspondence below was written by the actually free Vineeto
(List D refers to Richard’s List D and his Respondent Numbers) Vineeto’s Selected Correspondence Fear March 5 2025 SCOUT: The instruction is simple but it really is quite challenging in practice, in that the internal emotional world can be viscerally painful. I’m a pretty sensitive person prone to being easily overwhelmed (this is an unhappy and uncomfortable existence, which is why I started seeking out a better way of living in the first place). I really don’t like pain, so often when something in my psyche hurts to look at, I will run away from the challenge. However, I find it hard to return to “feeling good” without direct acknowledgment of whatever it is standing in the way of that, so trying to numb and run away from the feeling I don’t like doesn’t help me. It’s like there’s this meta-layer of fear of my own psyche. The feelings themselves (grief, fear) can be intense, but they are often somatic and don’t last too long without the fuel of ongoing thought, and even amidst grief or fear I can watch what’s happening in my body and see where I am tensing in resistance to the feelings, which often hurts more than the feeling itself. What also often hurts more than the feeling is the anticipation that the feeling will be bad and painful, the resistance to experiencing it and the desire to escape. I can see that this dread is pointless because it just adds unnecessary pain to the necessary pain. VINEETO: Hi Scout, You discovered for yourself that “meta-layer of fear”, which I would call underlying layer of fear, prevents you to look at the painful/ sorrowful emotions. As such I would recommend again, what I wrote to you before – Vineeto: … stop fighting your pain and stop fighting the feelings you experience. Any battle against yourself only fuels the feelings and the [somatic] pain by increasing the power of ‘you’ to make you feel bad. Personally, feeling being ‘Vineeto’ found that the moment she stopped fighting the feeling (i.e. by being afraid of it), it instantly diminished. From there, seeing the success of stopping the battle against yourself, you might be able to get to a reasonable feeling good, a little better than neutral. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Scout, 23 December 2024a). And Vineeto: I understand that it is hard to get an entry into the actualism method when you have a long-habituated response to fear and pain and all other unpleasant feelings. The thing is if you want to get better, you will have to start somewhere, and your entry is to allow yourself to feel, so that you can notice how you fight this feeling … and then consciously stop resisting, fighting, complaining, rejecting it. Unless you actually do it, you can never find out if the feeling itself diminishes when you stop fighting it, or not. (Actualism, ActualVineeto, Scout, 24 December 2024). SCOUT: It takes some real work to unlearn the resistances and avoidances I’ve spent a lifetime leaning on. I can also see why it might be hard for people to do this without a clear PCE for reference; the glimpses of peace I get are incredibly nice, but the addictive, dopaminergic pleasure derived from the habits I use to escape myself is much more accessible, and offers a buzzier thrill. But it doesn’t feel real or complete in the way that the peace feels. I think it might take me some time to break my addictions but the more I observe them clearly, the more they start to fall away on their own. VINEETO: Indeed, it does take some time but what it really takes is action. Observing is not enough and they won’t fall away by themselves. Actualism is not the neo-buddhistic ‘noting’ which is nothing but a dissociation practice. Check out (when you are feeling good) Claudiu’s excellent description from December 2012, what detrimental effect the MCTB advice given to him by the DhO participants had on him, and how he eventually managed to extract himself from the habit of noting/ dissociation. (see Richard List D, Claudiu, 18 Dec 2012). When you observe that any exploration into suffering brings up fear, and also observe your habitual reaction of rejecting the fear, take action by deciding to stop fighting the fear (neither repressing nor expressing) – and see what happens. The more actively responsive you are to your observations of habitual resistance and actively decide to stop fighting the fear, the less time it takes to “break my addictions”. They don’t fall away on their own but you can replace the addictive behaviour with the more beneficial alternative. * Richard: Given that people are as-they-are and that the world is as-it-is there are more than a few things which are ‘unacceptable’ (child abuse, rape, murder, torture and so on). What worked for me twenty-odd years ago, as a preliminary step, was to rephrase the question so that it makes sense (rather than vainly apply any of those unliveable ‘unconditional acceptance’ type injunctions): • Can I emotionally accept that which is intellectually unacceptable? This way intelligence need not be compromised … intelligence will no longer be crippled. (Richard, List B, James2, 18 Aug 2001). SCOUT: I don’t think I can emotionally accept it, can I? I just saw this video on Instagram (child abuse warning [snipped link]). It feels very painful to watch. It makes me feel compassion and the urge to do anything to help humanity because it’s the most fucking depressing thing in the world to see an innocent child screaming out for love and begging to have its needs met. (…) VINEETO: Just because you “don’t think” that this is possible, and then prove this with another feeling response (to two stories about child abuse) means that your “I don’t think” is factual. Wouldn’t you rather say you ‘don’t feel’ that this is possible? Can you think again, when you are feeling good, and make a sincere distinction between “intellectually unacceptable” and emotionally unacceptable? Presently you merely proved to yourself that your addiction to suffering is indeed unchangeable and therefore justified. Do you recognize the trick you play with yourself? You simply changed suffering about your own pain (which is too difficult to look at because of an underlying fear) to suffering for other people’s sake, especially in situations in which you can do nothing and where your own sympathy, empathy and compassion can offer no practical assistance. It only makes you suffer on their behalf on top of suffering on your own behalf so that you can feel less ‘selfish’. Gary: By the way, I think questioning the supposedly benevolent intentions of others under the guise of ‘concern’ and ‘sympathy’ is a sign of health, not illness. Richard: Sometimes it is helpful to work from the etymological roots of words ... and as the word ‘concern’ comes from the Latin ‘concernere’ (sift, distinguish) I would endorse it as an apt description of a sign of health, yes. But as ‘sympathy’ comes from the Greek ‘sym’ (together, alike) and ‘pathy’ (suffering, feeling) I am hard-pushed to see ‘suffering together’ or ‘feeling alike’ as a sign of health (similarly with ‘compassion’: the Latin ‘passio’ equals the Greek ‘pathos’ hence ‘together in pathos’). There is a widespread belief that suffering is good for you ... whereas in my experience the only good thing about suffering is when it comes to an end. Permanently. (Richard, List B, Gary, 22 September 1999). With this change of suffering for others’ sake you now deepened/ enhanced your own suffering and thus made any changes to your addiction to suffering more unlikely. I am pointing this out so that you can begin to recognize your own tricks employed not to change (‘you’ the frightened identity, which is very inventive and cunning in order to remain in charge). SCOUT: But then what do I do? Notice myself feeling sad and outraged and see how it’s ineffective? It hurts a lot to feel this way, that much is clear. My mind argues that it’s selfish to just focus on eliminating pain for myself and cut myself off from the pain of others. It really breaks my heart. I want to help the suffering stop. VINEETO: Claudiu pointed out quite rightly – Claudiu: Feeling sad and sorrowful leaves you in a position to not be able to do anything due to lack of outwardly-directed energy. Sorrow can naturally turn to outrage, which is a form of aggression – and then look, you yourself are contributing to the madness, using the very same passionate energy, aggression, that mother is using to threaten her helpless daughter. You may feel that aggression applied appropriately, towards the proper targets, will solve the situation – you just have to look at humanity’s long and bloody history to already know that this won’t work. To genuinely, effectively and actually “help the suffering stop” you start with yourself, the only person you can change. An ‘unselfish’ self is still a self and there is no virtue in increasing the suffering by suffering for others while doing nothing to stop inflicting your own suffering on others (via psychic vibes for instance). Richard: Just as there are those who water down ‘selfless’ (no self) into meaning ‘unselfish’ (a not selfish self), there are those who make ‘timeless’ (no time) mean ‘eternity’ (unlimited time). Even dictionaries do this. (Richard, List B, No. 33h, 2 November 2001). First stop fighting the fear when it arises and allow, in the experiencing of it, to get the information you need in order to get back to feeling good. When feeling good – with less emotional interference – you can think about what you have read and found sensible and apply the advice that makes sense to you. If it works to minimize your suffering, continue, if not contemplate again identify what other triggers keep you from feeling good. One thing is for sure, suffering on others’ behalf or feeling sorry for your own emotional pain is not working to “help the suffering stop”. Cheers Vineeto May 14 2025 VINEETO: Have you ever been aware that deep down ‘I’ desire oblivion? Only recognising and acknowledging this desire will turn “this sense of genuine danger” into being the welcome destiny ‘you’ always wanted. KUBA: Yes I have experienced ‘my’ desire for oblivion, as we mentioned a while ago even going a little faint would deliver the flavour of it, of ‘me’ no longer having to be ‘me’. It is definitely very enjoyable and same goes for going into gay abandon, it is delicious to get a break from being ‘me’/ living ‘my’ life. It is what ‘I’ fear the most before it happens and when it is happening ‘I’ realise it is what ‘I’ desire the most. Hehe so it is exactly how Richard wrote, that as weird as it may sound at first what ‘I’ fear the most is also what ‘I’ desire the most. It’s funny because ‘I’ resist ‘my’ death with all ‘my’ might and yet even a little taster of oblivion is so delicious for ‘me’. VINEETO: I am pleased you now clearly experience desiring oblivion – so whenever standing still appears to become difficult to bear for the time being, you can ‘lean into’ ‘your’ desire for oblivion in lieu of allowing fear to create an inner dichotomy where ‘I’ am battling with ‘me’ or trying to force ‘me’ to an agreement ‘you’ may not yet be ready for. KUBA: Yes so this is it! ‘the danger’, that voice which entices ‘me’ to go to that ‘other place’, it is a mirage. It initially looks like it is being here which is dangerous but it is not so, this ‘danger’ it is an apparition designed to perpetuate the status quo. Huh it makes sense now what feeling being ‘Vineeto’ did in “traversing the wall of fear”, this is it. VINEETO: I am reminded, again, of Geoffrey’s description – Geoffrey: I stood there, the sun in my back, full of sensuousness, delighting in Pure Intent, amazed at how the actual is so safe. I was thinking about the unknown path lying before me (the path that deliver the goods – as I knew from the PCE), and realised in a flash that the unknown path is the safe path. That the known is the unsafe. That ‘I’ am the unsafe. For a split second I saw like a veil in front of me. I saw how I could be on the other side of the ‘mirror’, on the safe side, the magical side, how I could… (Becoming Free Reports, Geoffrey). Indeed, fear is both the obstacle and the doorway to actuality. I can’t even remember how ‘Vineeto’ suddenly found ‘herself’ on the other side of the wall of fear, and only realised what happened later on – ‘Vineeto’: Richard described it this way in a private email about me – Richard: ‘Vineeto, who is now fully out-from-control/in a fully different-way-of-being, and thus on my side of that enormous wall of fear completely encircling all of humankind, ...’ (24.12.2009) (Out from Control Reports, Vineeto) KUBA: Once that ‘wall of fear’ is traversed it is seen to be a mirage/ apparition/ trick, it is as if the doorway to actual freedom is guarded by this wall of fear. VINEETO: It is not only “as if”, it is so in reality because at core ‘I’ am fear and fear is ‘me’. Here is how Richard described his own process of traversing the wall of fear (the first time in the history of human consciousness) – Richard: With pure intent one can enable a movement into the existential angst, rather than despairingly grasping at doomsday straws, which movement facilitates the bright light of awareness being shone into the innermost recesses of ‘my’ presence ... which is ‘presence’ itself. Such an active perspicacity in ‘my’ moment of reckoning will reveal that ‘presence’ itself feeds off ‘my’ fear – it is its very life-blood as it were – and this functional acuity brings an abrupt end to its nourishment. Whereupon all-of-a-sudden one finds oneself on the other side of the wall (to keep with the ‘cornered’ analogy for now) with the hitherto unseeable doorway to freedom closing behind one ... and one is walking freely in this actual world where one has already always been living anyway. All what happened was that upon ‘my’ exposure dissolution occurred and the Land of Lament sank without a trace. (Richard, List B, James3, 21 November 2002a). Richard: If you see that fear is at the base of everything then that seeing is the ending of fear, period. (Richard, List B, James2, 20 July 2001). (...) Cheers Vineeto March 15 2025 KUBA: What I can see is that there is some kind of an addiction to the apparent safety of ‘being’, of suffering. That ‘being’ those passions is somehow required for safety, for survival etc. It reminds me of something that Richard wrote in his journal haha : Richard: Initially one is deathly afraid to actually be here now, as it can feel rather rudely raw … one feels more naked and exposed than taking off one’s clothing in the market place. (Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Twenty-Five, p. 182) VINEETO: Hi Kuba, ‘I’ may feel insecure by ‘my’ very nature as ‘I’ am but a contingent ‘being’, a versatile chameleon of ever-changing passions. You are spot on, “passions is somehow required for safety, for survival”, ‘I’ cannot exist without passion, ‘I’ am those passions swirling around the vortex creating ‘my presence’. This very feeling of insecurity can be the doorway to freedom – Richard: Fear – existential angst at finding oneself to be the contingent ‘being’ one always suspected oneself to be – is both the barrier and the way to freedom. Always included in fear is a thrilling aspect, and by focussing upon this and not fear itself, an energy gathers momentum which does the trick for one (thrilling as in an exciting sensation through the body, stirring, stimulating, electrifying, rousing, moving, gripping, hair-raising, riveting, joyful, pleasing, throbbing, trembling, tremulous, quivering, shivering, fluttering, shuddering and vibrating). ‘I’ cannot set ‘myself’ free ... but ‘I’ can set in motion a process that will lead to ‘my’ eventual demise. (Richard, List B, No. 12a, 18 July 1998). Alternatively, when there is no fear or anxiety barring the way, the very next paragraph from the one you quoted gives you a follow-up on how to proceed – Richard: However, feeling rudely raw about the prospect of being here now is not the same as actually being here now. A feeling is not a fact; it is an identity’s interpretation of the actual and is therefore unreliable as a means of ascertaining the direct experience of being here now. Being here now is to be at the place and time where all is pristine. This pristine place is this, the actual world … and it is already always here. This actual world is original; unmarred, uncorrupted, unspoiled, spotless, fresh and perpetually new. It is alarming to feel this immaculateness – it is frightening in its immediate intimacy – which is why one backs off, initially denying its very existence. What happens though, if one takes the risk to actually be here now – instead of standing back and feeling it out in order to make up one’s mind – is that one discovers that oneself is also pristine. There is no differentiation between that something which is precious and me. I am that stillness experiencing itself ... I am pristine, through and through. By daring to be here now, by being me as-I-am, I have already ‘cleaned up’ all the pollution ... by not being polluted at all in the first place. (Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Twenty-Five) In other words: allow feeling rudely raw until the feeling of being exposed dies down – then you can actually be here now. And this is magical. KUBA: I just realised that ‘Vineeto’ did in fact experience being “naked and exposed” prior to ‘her’ self-immolation. (Actualism, ActualVineeto, Claudiu5, 12 March 2025). Actually this is a perfect segue into a great example of this kind of feeling in ‘my’ life. Some of my work that I do on weekends involves being a life-drawing model for hen parties. So yes it involves stripping completely naked in front of a bunch of drunk women. To enter such a situation with no ‘protection’ from ‘being’ or from the social identity is a great challenge and it’s something that ‘I’ have become pretty damn good at! But this is exactly it – To stand naked and unadorned as this flesh and blood body, no pretence, no ‘being’. This is the challenge, the challenge to be actually intimate, the challenge to have no ‘hiding place’. VINEETO: Yes, the social constraints to being naked, and sexuality in general, provide the first barrier, on the social identity level, to be “naked and exposed” but it is the existential exposure of having nothing to hide which is the more frightening, and you are presently having fun exploring this challenge and discovering the delight of being more and more intimate. On the same topic you wrote – KUBA: Oh I will just add, Vineeto, when I wrote the other posts there was some fear/ anxiety as to how you would respond – So yes clearly ‘I’ had something to hide, ‘I’ was afraid of ‘my’ hiding place being exposed. VINEETO: This is very perceptive of you. Feeling being ‘Vineeto’ was often afraid for the same reason, that Richard would discover something ‘she’ wasn’t even aware ‘she’ was hiding. Despite our long acquaintance, this anxiety never completely disappeared until shortly before ‘she’ disappeared as a contingent ‘being’. However, the more ‘I’ became exposed, the less fear there was because there was less and less to hide. Yet despite your “fear/ anxiety” you always graciously inquire into the aspects which get revealed in our conversations, an indication that an actual freedom has priority over the possibility of ‘having egg on your face’, to use a colloquial term. This, amongst other things, is meant by ‘daring to care and caring to dare’. Cheers Vineeto March 22 2025 KUBA: Richard: However, a word of experiential advice: just prior to apperception occurring, ‘I’, the beholder – the one who wants to be in control – can view life as being bereft of depth. Everything can become flat, two-dimensional, barren and stark. This is not actuality, although one may be inclined to feel it to be so. This is reality, stark reality, and is not to be confused with actuality. Actuality is never, ever, stark. This starkness can influence one to pull back, to retreat into ‘normal’ life. Courage of one’s conviction and confidence in the purity of the actual is essential if one is to proceed. All of one’s ‘being’ wants to back off and regain the once-despised reality that looks so attractive now, from this extreme position. This stark reality is a barrier; it is a desert of monumental proportions that one can only traverse if supplied with the fortitude garnered from the peak experience. Then one is willing to endure the ghastly reality masquerading as the actual. The very ground beneath one’s feet can appear to shift, to disappear, and all seems to hang upon nothing. Unsupported and alone, one is in the outer-most reaches of ‘being’. The feeling is that one cannot survive this appalling emptiness without going mad. To be in durance vile is not for the faint-hearted, the weak of knee. Nerves of steel are essential if one is to meet one’s destiny. It is the adventure of a life-time. (Richard’s Journal, Article 26) So the above quote demonstrates exactly what has been going on recently, it has been a pretty rocky ride at times! I remember Richard wrote that as weird as it may seem at first what ‘I’ desire deeply is what ‘I’ fear the most, this experientially clicked today. Because ‘I’ do desire oblivion and yet to proceed towards ‘my’ extinction is what ‘I’ fear the most. I have had Vineeto’s recent story (Actualism, ActualVineeto, Claudiu5, 12 March 2025) in mind… The way I have been experiencing it is that ‘I’ have also got on a dinghy and pushed ‘myself’ away from the shore, now ‘I’ find ‘myself’ floating naked before the universe and with no direction that ‘I’ could possibly steer ‘myself’ to. It makes sense now that ‘I’ would want to ‘do’ something, anything to retreat into ‘normal’ life and away from the starkness. But ‘I’ cannot do that convincingly anymore, sometimes ‘I’ will anyways and very quickly it will become apparent that there is absolutely nothing in that direction to go back to. Having nothing of substance to go back to is what makes it an oft-times alarming but always thrilling ride. Essentially as Richard wrote: Richard: It is incumbent upon one to stand fast, as a flesh and blood body only, without moving in any direction at all … and be what-one-is. Only in this manner will the instincts reveal themselves for what they are. ‘I’ will be laid open and the core of ‘me’ will be revealed for the blind and instinctual ‘being’ that ‘I’ am. (Richard’s Journal, Article 23). And this is it, the core of ‘me’, ‘my’ precious is what ‘I’ am allowing to be exposed. This is somewhat similar and yet very different to what ‘I’ did with ‘my’ social identity. All along the path there was this need to be willing to relinquish a precious part of ‘myself’ BUT ‘my’ very core would get to remain. Whereas this ‘process’ that is happening now will ensure that whatever is still left in ‘my’ hiding place will be exposed, ‘I’ will not get to keep anything hidden. So it is proceeding towards what ‘I’ fear most and what ‘I’ desire the most. But I can see now that this is exactly what has been happening, this ‘process’ will progressively expose ‘me’ in ‘my’ entirety, ‘I’ cannot cut a single corner, ‘I’ do not get to keep even this little thing tucked away ‘over there’. Indeed this is an adventure of a lifetime, I can see the benefit of writing about this because this “desert of monumental proportions” is a deterrent from proceeding towards my destiny (and the same for my fellow human beings). Richard had the courage of his convictions and proceeded through it with no precedent, but he was exceptionally exceptional. It will be useful for others to know that it is indeed possible to traverse this. The other interesting thing which I forgot to mention is that when ‘I’ am experiencing this starkness full on it appears as if this is all that ‘I’ have ever known and all ‘I’ will ever know, and yet it can switch (and yo-yo) in a matter of seconds – where now all of a sudden it’s as if none of that ever happened, and back and forth like that. VINEETO: Hi Kuba, What a fascinating thrilling time you are having, traversing this “desert of monumental proportions” and yet knowing with utter certainty that you are “proceeding towards my destiny”, and that there is “absolutely nothing in that direction to go back to”. Reading all this I was wondering if you perhaps are deeply influenced by these particular descriptions of Richard’s Journal – he was after all drawing from his experience of coming out of Spiritual Enlightenment /institutionalized insanity – such that they are what is now happening to you, especially as you also noticed that “it can switch (and yo-yo) in a matter of seconds – where now all of a sudden it’s as if none of that ever happened, and back and forth like that”. However, in the ultimate analysis it does not matter, because once the weirdness ends and you know with the perspicacity of apperception that “none of that ever happened” but was “nothing but an illusion all along”. Richard: I mean it when I say: ‘I have the most classic indication of insanity. That is: everyone else is mad but me’. The sanity of the real world – which is a sanity that produces wars and rapes and murders and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicide – is a sickness, a blight upon this fair earth. Thus, whichever way it is defined, I am not sane ... I have oft-times been told that only a fool – a simpleton – can be happy and harmless in the world of people, things and events. The doorway to an actual freedom has the words ‘Warning: do not open ... insanity lies ahead’ written on it. I opened the door and walked through. Once on the other side – where thousands upon thousands of atavistic voices were insistently whispering ‘fool – fool – fool’ – I turned to ascertain the way back to normal. The door had vanished – and the wall it was set in – and I just knew that I would never, ever be able to find my way back to the real-world ... it had been nothing but an illusion all along. I walked tall and free as the perfection of this material universe personified ... I can never not be here ... now. (Richard, List B, No. 26a, 24 November 1998). KUBA: Reading this back I can see why it might be “rocky at times”, there is still some kind of a resistance coming from ‘me’. It is odd because where pure intent is pulling ‘me’ is towards the end of suffering and yet ‘I’ experience it almost as if it’s some kind of an assault. ‘I’ am desperately holding onto ‘me’ and yet ‘I’ am suffering, and then the pull towards the end of suffering is experienced as an assault… VINEETO: I am immensely pleased that you discovered “some kind of a resistance coming from ‘me’” because it is this “resistance” which is fuelling the weirdness. The more you pay close attention to this “resistance”, and your experience of pure intent “as an assault” which is counteracting the “oblivion” you yearn for, the more you can deliberately lean into the feeling that “‘I’ do desire oblivion”, recognize and acknowledge it as a sincere yearning, a deeply felt longing, a life-long passionate wish to end being a fraud/an impostor who is having to carry the burden of hiding and desperately defending its own frightful secret. The reason I can speak so confidently about this ‘life-long passionate wish to end being a fraud’ is because ‘Vineeto’ deeply felt it many times in ‘her’ life, from the first moment when ‘she’ fell unconscious (due to low blood-pressure at the time). There was something so sweet, so enticing, so attractive, in those seconds before unconsciousness set in, and similar in following events that ‘she’ always wondered why that was so. ‘She’ finally found the answer when learning about an actual freedom – with the possibility to make those enticing seconds a permanent experience, via ‘her’ acquiesce to ‘her’ demise. Richard: When the ultimate moment happens, one finds that one has gone beyond everything. Nothing remains, only utter stillness abounds. The perfection and purity of the stillness is impossible to imagine or believe … it has to be lived to be known. The journey is over, one has arrived at one’s destination. One’s destiny is here. (Richard’s Journal, Article 23). Thinking of you with the confidence of the pure intent showering its blessings originating in the purity and vast stillness of this infinite and eternal universe. Cheers Vineeto June 28 2025 CHRONO: Thanks for your reply and pointers Vineeto! VINEETO: Yesterday I watched the ‘Virtual Freedom’ video again and Peter reminded me of something I had almost forgotten – how hard it was at first to allow himself to be happy and harmless. What was one of the two main objections that he would have to go against the whole thrust of human ‘wisdom’, that one is not allowed to be happy. CHRONO: I just watched this video for the first time right now and my experience very much matches with what Peter is saying. Something Richard said also gave me some confidence, which is that (paraphrasing) suggestion that it is intelligence which makes it safe to look inside at the instinctual passions and then chooses the felicitous feelings with the pure intent to live it. VINEETO: Hi Chrono, I am pleased you found some things which match your experience in Peter’s video. Yes, intelligence certainly makes is fairly safe to experience one’s own strong feelings, especially when coupled with the sincere/ pure intent to become “happy and harmless”, “blithesome and benign”, “carefree and considerate”, “gay and benevolent”, as Richard laid it out in detail in the above copied correspondence to No. 13, 21 May 2009 (Richard, List D, No. 13, 21 May 2009). (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Adam-H, 24 June 2025). You will have observed that the less you object to/ fight/ reject the (unwanted) feelings you experience and subsequently channel them into felicitous feelings, the better and cleaner your intelligence can operate, freed from a lot of confusing, intoxicating debris of the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings. To put it another way, you can loosen the controls on keeping unpleasant feelings under wrap (without expressing or suppressing) and let some more naiveté slip out, which is a safe way to slowly, almost surreptitiously, to escape the ‘common call to unhappiness’. The less you have to hide, from yourself and others, the more playful you can be. CHRONO: I’d say it’s a counter to the doubtful vibes and currents which suggest that I will go out of control or go crazy if I don’t go along with the herd. It highlights this sort of confusion deep inside of what I am. There’s an intelligence operating despite the instinctual passions. VINEETO: There is indeed an intelligence operating, which will eventually reveal that all those dire predictions (go out of control or go crazy for instance) are just bluff of your own ‘being’ intending to keep you enthralled. It’s your own home-made fear which makes them appear so powerful. Think about it – you can clothe yourself, feed yourself, hold down a job to earn a livelihood … and can do a lot of other things. And the universe is keeping you alive by doing the breathing and digesting and sleeping etc for you. Just contemplate on it all when you are feeling good – it is simply marvellous. * VINEETO: 1 you can change yourself unilaterally (and only pay lip service when necessary) – in other words, you neither need permission nor allies in this game how happy and harmless can I feel CHRONO: As I reflect on this being unilateral, I realize that there’s a certain dare in trying to be happy and harmless. I REALLY want to be happy and harmless forever, but doing so goes against the fold and invokes a great fear. This gives rise to weirdly wanting to tell someone about what I am trying to do instead of just choosing to feel good without hoping for their approval. VINEETO: You just did and have my full approval. :) * VINEETO: Here is how feeling being ‘Vineeto’ described ‘her’ own discoveries – (snip quote re: commitment to eliminate my own aggression) CHRONO: When I reflect on this, I feel like I’ll be ridiculed for being felicitous and innocuous. But the difference this time unlike before is that I see that others don’t actually know something that I don’t (by their choosing to be malicious and sorrowful). This I think definitely comes from the ‘don’t fall out of line’ vibes and currents. VINEETO: Most of what you feel others would be thinking and feeling is what you feel about “being felicitous and innocuous”. Most people are so busy with their own lives that they hardly take any notice of what you do, let alone how you feel. And the more you own your own fear (as a human being inflicted by no fault of your own with instinctual passions) the more you become autonomous, affectively independent of what you feel others would want you to be. That’s when life becomes fun. * VINEETO: This sentence from Richard from many years ago may sound familiar to you – Richard: Now that you indubitably know what apperception is – as per your ‘It was undoubtedly an experience of apperception’ sentence – and how to evoke it (as in your ‘Then as I stuck with that seeing that it was this moment of being alive I was pulled towards it. The pull itself was exhilarating and thrilling’ sentences) you may very well come to look back upon this day as being the turning-point of your life, eh? (Richard, List D, No. 44, 2 January 2014). CHRONO: Ah yes I do remember this. It’s pretty much why I keep coming back to it being this moment of being alive. I found it difficult to ‘go all the way’ or ‘stick with the seeing’ since then. There’s this ‘mountain of fear’ that didn’t seem to be there at that time. VINEETO: Mmh, that “mountain of fear” possibly has to do with you fighting the feeling and thus adding affective energy to it. See if you can loosen the control a bit, allowing the fear to just be there and you will notice how it diminishes simply by not objecting to it. From there is only a hop and a jump to feeling ok/feeling good, and then you can explore what it is made of. It’s the automatic habit of rejection which makes it appear like a mountain. Here is ‘Vineeto’s’ account of such an experience – ‘Vineeto’: It reminds me of a weird and fascinating experience I had just two nights ago. I had had a light smoke, when I suddenly started to feel nauseous and very dizzy in the head. The physical symptoms came along with an acute fear to throw up, to black out, in short, to lose control over my body and my life. While Peter kept inquiring if there maybe was also some fear involved, not just a physical reaction, I was desperately trying to obtain control over my body. At the same time I was, of course, suspicious that it was all a play up of the ‘self’ trying to survive, but didn’t know how to deal with it. When I finally laid down on the floor and ‘surrendered’ to the option of being unconscious and was actually getting interested and thrilled by the possibility of observing the experience, it very quickly disappeared like a ghost. It left me astounded about the power of ‘reality’, the vividness of the experience that fear created with all the ingredients of a ‘serious’ disease, becoming unconscious. Only by accepting it as an adventure and at the same time doubting its actuality it lost its power over me, leaving me battered but proud like after a victorious, well-fought battle. The next night it happened again but was all much less dramatic, the temptation was there to delve into the fear, the physical symptoms were ready to emerge again, but this time I didn’t believe in the actual danger and it quickly went. (Actualism, Vineeto, AF List, Alan-a, 28.7.1998) CHRONO: With all that said, I am right now able to choose feeling good more easily. To go with the dare with my REALLY wanting to be happy and harmless. I’ll try this sticking with the seeing that it is this moment again. VINEETO: This is excellent. As Richard says, “courage is sourced in the thrilling part of fear, the daring to proceed will intensify of its own accord” (Richard, List B, James3, 7 November 2002), it arises as the need arises. Also, the more you care the more willingly you dare. Cheers Vineeto July 10 2025 VINEETO: Mmh, that “mountain of fear” possibly has to do with you fighting the feeling and thus adding affective energy to it. See if you can loosen the control a bit, allowing the fear to just be there and you will notice how it diminishes simply by not objecting to it. From there is only a hop and a jump to feeling ok/ feeling good, and then you can explore what it is made of. It’s the automatic habit of rejection which makes it appear like a mountain. CHRONO: Yes I think that perhaps is what it is. I allowed myself to feel it and it seemed overwhelming. But it seems I had been afraid of being afraid. Just feeling it gets rid of that sitting on a ‘mountain of fear’ sensation. I allowed it to first wander where it would on its own, it veered towards cynicism and seriousness. An expectation of the worst. But what you wrote in the following quote helped me: ‘Vineeto’: (…) Only by accepting it as an adventure and at the same time doubting its actuality it lost its power over me, leaving me battered but proud like after a victorious, well-fought battle. (…) [Emphasis by Chrono]. (Actualism, Vineeto, AF List, Alan-a, 28.7.1998) I had not approached it like that before. I wouldn’t doubt its actuality because it felt so true. So I had inadvertently been taking this ‘mountain of fear’ as truth. So the opposite thing I had been trying to do was allowing the fear to be there but I felt like I had to do something about it. So that would also feed it and it would mount in intensity. In the middle is a strange belief of something like ‘if I am feeling it, then that is what it is’. The feeling has the final say in the matter. But with this approach, I do not have to be afraid of the fear. I think the loosening the controls a bit is what I need to do right now. VINEETO: Ha, yes, all strong feelings are generally perceived as “truths” – that’s the very nature of feelings. So in order to find out what is really going on you first need to take a step back (=get back to feeling good) before you can contemplate what’s happening … or when the feeling is too strong, then sit with the feeling, neither repressing or expressing it until the third alternative hoves into view. In case of fear that may be the thrill to discover what’s behind it all. Respondent: When I feel fear, fear seems to reinforce itself and stays put. Richard: It is not all that uncommon to feel fear feeding off itself, as it were, and mounting in intensity almost exponentially – as in a panic attack for instance – yet closer inspection reveals that it is none other than ‘me’, a fearful ‘me’, who is fuelling/ refuelling the fear (‘I’ am fear and fear is ‘me’) with ‘my’ own affective energy. Respondent: When I think of any belief about the fear trigger, the fear seems to reinforce the belief. Richard: Oh, indeed so ... that is a phenomenon well-known by many a draconian. Respondent: Each fear is a self perpetuating. Richard: The key to success lies in realising that fear does not go anywhere (meaning that nothing ever happens except more fear). (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 79, 21 June 2005) Peter created a schematic in the Actual Freedom Library showing that in the perceptive process feelings demonstrably come before thought. Hence feelings always appear as ‘the truth’ before thought even questions them. That’s why diligent attentiveness is required to notice when feeling good diminishes. Richard: … that is how it operates naturally (as is borne out by laboratory testing): sensate perception is primary; affective perception is secondary; cognitive perception is tertiary. The sensate signal, a loud sound for example, takes 12-14 milliseconds to reach the affective faculty and 24-25 milliseconds to reach the cognitive faculty: thus by the time reasoned cognition can take place the instinctual passions are pumping freeze-fight-flee chemicals throughout the body thus agitating cognitive appraisal ... and whilst there is a narrowband circuit from the cognitive centre to the affective centre (through which reason can dampen-down and stop the reactive response) the circuitry from the affective faculty to the cognitive faculty is broadband (which is why it takes some time to calm down after an emotional reaction). Not that I knew anything of these laboratory tests all those years ago ... but it is always pleasing when science proves what one has already sussed out for oneself. (Richard, List B, No. 12r, 11 January 2003). * CHRONO: Also perhaps relatedly I am noting that underneath this is a deep feeling of angst that comes more and more to the fore. Sometimes experienced as meaninglessness and sometimes as agitation. It feels like the fabric of my reality and is not of my choosing. VINEETO: Indeed fear is at the core of your ‘being’ – ‘I’ am fear and fear is ‘me’. These quotes might shed some light on it – Richard: Usually the frightening aspect dominates and obscures the thrilling aspect: shifting one’s attention to the thrilling aspect (I often said jokingly that it is down at the bottom left-hand side) will increase the thrill and decrease the fright as the energy of fear shifts its focus and changes into a higher gear ... and, as courage is sourced in the thrilling part of fear, the daring to proceed will intensify of its own accord. But stay with the thrill, by being the thrill, else the fright takes over, daring dissipates, and back out of the corner you come. (Richard, List B, James3, 7 November 2002). And: Richard: As for the distinction between the frightening aspect of fear and the thrilling aspect of fear: generally speaking one is paralysing and the other is galvanising; one is animating and the other is immobilising; one is incapacitating and the other is stimulating; one is vitalising and the other is debilitating; one is disabling and the other is enabling; one is energising and the other is crippling; one is discouraging and the other is encouraging ... and so on. I will leave it up to you to feel which one is which ... and which one to choose to be. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27e, 3 April 2003). Cheers Vineeto August 25, 2025 JESUSCARLOS: It’s Friday afternoon, and my partner is encouraged to give me feedback on my way of being and acting over the past week. Above all, she emphasizes that I’m like “absent”. Absorbed in my worries, too busy with my phone, not here and now. She rightly resents this. I receive it with discomfort but at the same time with openness, sticking to the facts: she’s right. It’s Saturday, and since the day before, I’ve tried to abandon my worries and be here, with attentiveness. We hike through the forest until we reach a waterfall at the far end. We’re alone. After a period of relaxation, a moment of pure awareness occurs. I marvel at the stillness of the rock while the majestic curtain of water falls steadily. I mention this to her, and she makes a humorous comment that makes us laugh for a while. “Yes, it’s very still, but the water is also damaging it slowly.” We called her thought the “anti-zen” thought of doom. All this reminds me that perfection comes with a high dose of humour. It’s Sunday and we’re at the cinema. We went to see the new “Dracula”. Two-thirds of the way through the film, I realize I’m feeling fear. But it has nothing to do with the film. Upon closer inspection, I realize it’s almost a panic attack. I think that if this feeling increases, I’ll either vomit, or run, or throw myself on the floor. But as best I can, I keep my hands in my pockets. I observe. Thoughts come and go, all of them doubts, fears, regarding actual freedom. What if this is just another manipulation? What if it’s an algorithm to program humans to no longer question anything and conform to the current regime? What if I become an inert robot by taking that step? What if Vineeto is actually an agent of the Matrix? (that film had a deep impact on me in my youth), etc. VINEETO: Hi Jesus Carlos, I understand your fear but you are misled by your feelings. About three years before becoming free ‘Vineeto’ expressed a similar sentiment when ‘she’ said to Richard, “to me you represent death”. Richard laughed and then said “I’m just a bloke”. Today I can say the same thing to you – I am just an old woman. As you said above – “perfection comes with a high dose of humour”. JESUSCARLOS: I clearly realize that these thoughts arise from an emotional reaction to the realization that my defence mechanisms cause suffering and aren’t truly necessary (Saturday’s EE/PCE realization). And I can clearly see that they are a core part of my identity, but that eliminating them means eliminating all of me; just one part can’t go. This insight increases my fear, almost to the point of terror. “My feelings are me, and I am my feelings”; “becoming my own best friend in this, isn’t something imposed on me, it’s something I choose for myself”; “This is for the good of humanity, it’s for its good, and for all the others I affect with my interactions, my absences”; “what is known is uncertain, uncertainty is the necessary step toward finding a solution”; “stick to the facts. What do the facts say? Don’t my interactions, my decisions, my will to fully be here improve when I really enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive?” This last thought is the one that has the greatest impact on overcoming fear (because is not only a thought, is a connection with pure intent). I begin to experience a reduction of fear, recognizing that through facts, and not through my beliefs or daydreams, there is a clear and evident truth (paraphrasing René Descartes). The concrete experience of what is truly beneficial is the guide on this wide and wonderful path. Little by little, terror is replaced by the sweetness of this realization, which also awakens memories of my life in which I have always been searching for the final solution to my suffering. VINEETO: Have you ever thought that it might be the other way round, that your fear is created by ‘me’ wanting to force ‘me’ to do something ‘I’ am not ready to voluntarily do? In this case this is not pure intent informing you but passions pitched against each other in order to keep ‘me’ in existence. JESUSCARLOS: At this point, the film’s plot (spoiler alert) connects with the emotional thread of my feelings and thoughts, and the acceptance of the main character’s death as an altruistic decision that frees others from his own burden makes even more sense. I’m amazed by this synchronicity. VINEETO: I don’t know the film but this is not synchronicity but real-world sentimental fantasy for bitter-sweet feel-good effect. JESUSCARLOS: The film ends. I’m not in a PCE, but in a kind of IE/EE, experiencing a lot of sweetness and intimacy. And I tell my partner what happened. Tears run. And I’m incredibly grateful with her for having the courage to tell me what she’d been noticing these past few days about my way of withdrawing from being here, as a defence mechanism. And that reminded me that what is the most important for me is to truly give all of myself to her, and to the rest of living human bodies. VINEETO: As you describe well, the effect of this fantasy is that you feel grateful, not appreciative, towards your partner – which is a ‘good’ feeling not a felicitous/ innocuous feeling. You would be misleading yourself to compare that to pure intent and your aim to altruistically ‘self’-immolate for the benefit of this body (which does not die when ‘I’ become extinct), that body and every body. JESUSCARLOS: I see what happened as a positive sign of progress, a kind of preparation for facing/ understanding that wall of fear behind which freedom could lie. At least a virtual one. VINEETO: Now to the main reason I am replying to your post – “understanding that wall of fear”. While one does experience fear in the process of becoming free, for instance, when there is resistance to admit to this or that aspect of the identity, and one certainly needs daring to persist, it is nevertheless important to understand that it is always a self-induced suffering. ‘I’ am feeding the fear, either by fighting against it or by wanting to have something immediately which needs a gentler more friendly approach, especially when it comes to ‘my’ extinction. Stand back and have a chuckle about the antics ‘I’ get up to and get back to feeling good. Perhaps the following quote will make things clearer regarding “that wall of fear” – RESPONDENT: I find it particularly interesting that with more recent experiences of becoming free, for example Peter, Vineeto, and others you’ve related – there was no wall of fear or dread. The process was ‘matter of fact,’ ‘simple,’ ‘easy.’ RICHARD: That is because they all became (newly) free via the well-publicised epoch-changing opening in human consciousness designated as the ‘direct route’ on the ‘A Long-Awaited Public Announcement’ web page on The Actual Freedom Trust website. Here are the very first words on that web page: • ‘The directors of The Actual Freedom Trust take great pleasure in making public knowledge of a direct route at the end of the wide and wondrous path (now both gentrified and rendered secure) to an actual freedom from the human condition – a down-to-earth manumission [from Latin manumittere, lit. ‘send out from one’s hand’, and meaning release from slavery; release from bondage or servitude; set free] hitherto only available dangerously via spiritual enlightenment/ mystical awakenment ...’. (Long Awaited Announcement). RESPONDENT: How can current actualists bypass such acute experiences of dread on the ‘path’ to freedom? RICHARD: By tapping into pure intent – nowadays also personified in its feminine aspect (its masculine aspect became personified 30+ months after 1992) – hitherto only accessible via a PCE. RESPONDENT: Are they [such acute experiences] merely an idiosyncrasy of different personalities, or are they tied to an approach or attitude? RICHARD: Neither ... they came about because (a) nobody had gone beyond spiritual enlightenment/ mystical awakenment before ... and (b) the direct route (opened by Peter and Richard on the 29th of December, 2009) was yet to be forged back then. RESPONDENT: Is there a strategy that can be utilized to bypass or minimize such experiences? RICHARD: Yep ... tapping into pure intent should do the trick nicely. For instance: #10876 From: richard.actualfreedom Date: Sat Feb 4, 2012 12:16 am Subject: Re: [...] about two types of Actual Freedom • [James] [...] Is the pce necessary? ps: Is the pce necessary for pure intent to come out of this vast stillness? • [Richard]: G’day James, Prior to 11.25 AM (AEDST) on Saturday, the 14th of November, 2009, a pure consciousness experience (PCE) was indeed necessary for pure intent – that benevolence and benignity of the vast and utter stillness of the universe itself – and the reason why a PCE was essential is reported/ described/ explained both on The Actual Freedom Trust website and in ‘Richard’s Journal’. [...] what the feeling-being inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body all those years ago experienced as an ‘over-arching benevolence and benignity’ was experienced by the feeling-being ‘Peter’, on the 29th of December 2009, as [quote] ‘a sweetness that was palpable’ [endquote] and that ‘he’ was [quote] ‘literally being bathed in this sweetness’ [endquote]. [...]. Other people have reported experiencing that over-arching benevolence and benignity as a palpable sweetness as well. Pamela, for instance, spoke of it in those terms during the ten minutes or so immediately prior to the pivotal event/ the definitive moment when she became actually free of the instinctual passions/ the feeling-being formed thereof on the 27th of January 2010. (On another occasion, about three weeks later, she reported experiencing it as being an ‘infinite tenderness’ of such a magnitude as to render her incoherent upon endeavouring to describe it to Vineeto). Vineeto [...snip...] has written of it, in a private email, as being ‘an overwhelming sweetness, so overwhelmingly sweet that tears were running down my face. At another time I experienced a tenderness so vast that I was speechless for a good time afterwards’. I mention these reports so as to demonstrate that what the feeling-being inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body all those years ago experienced as an ‘over-arching benevolence and benignity’ may not necessarily be exactly the way others experience it. [...]. (Message 10876, Richard, List D, James, 4 February 2012). (Richard, List D, No. 25a, 25 May 2015) The whole correspondence from 25 May 2015 is well-worth reading from the beginning because it drives the point home even more. As you might have gathered by now, when you are a friend to yourself and look at/ sort out the various obstacles to being happy and harmless, enjoying and appreciating each moment of being alive, when you become more and more naďve, like yourself and others, then you can follow the wide and wondrous path of felicitous discoveries and appreciative amazement, then there is no need to get lost in the scary thicket of self-created fear, sorrow and bitter-sweet fantasy. Then, following pure intent, one day the choice is so crystal-clear and irresistibly attractive, then the facts speak for themselves and inevitably trigger ‘my’ permission to the only obvious action which is not of ‘my’ doing. Cheers Vineeto September 24 2025 VINEETO: It’s interesting to note that contemplating “what it means to be ‘compassionate’” has triggered this “huge immense fear about what I am doing by trying to becoming free”. Compassion is one of the stalwarts to keep you trapped within humanity, and contemplating to do without appeared a dangerous and therefore impossible direction to proceed. CHRONO: Yes there was in the deepest part of the fear a complete and almost unbearable loneliness. Compassion perhaps keeps me connected to others and provides as an antidote for it in some way as well. Not that any of that will stop me haha. As you said, there may need to be a digestion period. VINEETO: That fear of “a complete and almost unbearable loneliness” is exactly the prison wall that is supposed to ensconce you within ‘humanity’s’ boundaries. When you stop fighting the fear, it will instantly diminish and then you can see if it has any substance in actuality. And yes, if it is a deep fear it might take some time to unravel and get to the thrilling aspect. I remember some strong fears ‘Vineeto’ had, for instance the atavistic one of being burnt at the stake – ‘Vineeto’: When Peter and I started to throw out love it had a great impact on my sexual ‘identity’. It was an intense and scary time because right behind the nice, embellishing veil of love lingered all the monsters and demons of being an animal, a whore, a slut, not human and having sex with a ‘stranger’. Enjoying sex without ‘being in love’ is still considered one of the greatest sins of Christian morality. And Eastern spirituality regards any kind of sex as the biggest obstacle to enlightenment. Not only had I to face my own personal conditioning about sex but I was also confronted with the fact of stepping out of the collective accepted behaviour and limits that every woman had been taught. Demons of atavistic fears would present me with their ferocious stories, as though I was still living in the Middle Ages, where women were burnt at the stake for leaving the fold or were expelled for not conforming. It took some effort to understand that both fears and beliefs around sex were simply inherited from other people, they don’t have any actual relevance for me. Digging deeper, stepping outside of the realm of sexual conditioning and beliefs I then discovered their underlying force – the sexual instincts. (A Bit of Vineeto) Here is another example – ‘Vineeto’: This reminds me of a day when I was so badly in the grip of fear that I couldn’t think straight, didn’t know how to get myself out of this overwhelming feeling and could hardly talk for my cluttering teeth. I thought that I will never gather enough gumption to become free, I am just too much of a coward. Telling my story to Richard he said something to the effect of: ‘what else would you want to do with your life – be miserable like right now for the next 30 odd years? Seems pretty impossible to me. Of course, you will keep going.’ (Actualism, Vineeto, Actual Freedom List, James, 20.12.1999). What ‘Vineeto’ forgot to mention that Richard’s interjection snapped ‘her’ out of the grip of fear instantly (because quite obviously intense fear cannot be maintained forever). It brought ‘Vineeto’ back down to earth. Cheers Vineeto November 6 2025 KUBA: Hi Vineeto, I see the trick now, and it’s not just this one particular trick but ‘my’ tricks altogether, which are there essentially as breaks to prevent motion, as motion means that ‘my’ territory is at stake. VINEETO: Hi Kuba, To forget any experiential evidence of actuality altogether from a PCE is quite common given the ubiquity of the human condition. What I understand your particular trick was to either absorb any experience of the actual world as ‘your’ territory or deny its relevance as a call to action, i.e. intent. Hence my question if it was perhaps a spiritual approach of chasing realisations, believing they would give ‘you’ value, virtue, credit, a “favourable place in a group” (23 Oct 2025) as tangible real-world achievement. KUBA: It’s funny because I always thought I wanted an adventure, but this is a genuine adventure now and I wonder if I have the minerals for it. VINEETO: I appreciate your honesty – fear is not an easy thing to admit to oneself, let alone in public. The word which feeling being ‘Vineeto’ had for such courage to be a pioneer in something entirely new to human consciousness was ‘mettle’. Also, when I answered Sonya’s message I found your reference to Srinath’s ‘sandpit actualism’ where you said – Kuba: I remember there was a time on this forum when the words pure intent were replaced with purity. That instead of establishing a connection to pure intent one would connect with purity. I went along with this which I now see as a bastardised version of what pure intent actually is. What I confirmed yesterday is that indeed connecting with “purity” is missing the very key aspect of the “genuinely occurring stream of benevolence and benignity”. I was blown away when I experienced it last night, it was sweet, it was irresistibly enticing, it was impossible not to care, it was something that could easily pull ‘me’ all the way to ‘my’ demise without a shred of resistance. Whereas this whole “connecting to purity” I see more as something along the lines of allowing sensuousness. Because when sensuousness is happening there is very much this aspect of the world being like this perfect and pure jewel, and yet that is not pure intent – “a genuinely occurring stream of benevolence and benignity that originates in the perfect and vast stillness that is the essential character of the infinitude of the universe”. Before the qualitative shift took place last year it would be more correct to say that I was allowing purity over and over, I was not allowing pure intent over and over, I was not allowing the “genuinely occurring stream of benevolence and benignity that originates in the perfect and vast stillness that is the essential character of the infinitude of the universe” to be dynamically operative – certainly what I experienced last night, I was not allowing that over and over. (7 June 2025a) Just make sure that what you experienced as the “mirificent flavour” is indeed pure intent, the “genuinely occurring stream of benevolence and benignity” and not the previous “connecting to purity”. Is it something which is “irresistibly enticing, it was impossible not to care, it was something that could easily pull ‘me’ all the way to ‘my’ demise without a shred of resistance”? It is this, the genuine experience of pure intent, which provides the mettle to proceed. Richard had several conversations with Alan on the topic of fear and courage, here are the last paragraphs of one of them – Alan: So, of course, it was ‘natural’ for people to say they had a ‘vision of god’, or some such – and back we are to ‘terms of reference’. The point I am making is that when someone had a PCE, even if it did not degenerate into an ASC, both their report, and that of others, would be of a religious, or spiritual experience. However, that does not, at least wholly, explain the fact that you appear to be the only living example of what you call ‘actual freedom’. Richard: Once again: Why Richard? One reason lies in my personal history where, being in a war, my life became a living nightmare ... literally. I was trapped in an horrific world of dread and foreboding and in order to escape from the savage barbarity of the situation my mind somehow created a new ‘reality’ built out of the extremities of fear, which hallucination I would call ‘unreality’. Thus I escaped into a place where all is calm and peaceful that was not unlike being in the centre of a cyclone – all about rages fear and hatred, anger and aggression – but in there all was apparently calm and peaceful. Thus I knew from experience that it is possible to create an ‘unreality’ in order to escape the grim and glum real-world reality. 26 years later I came to realise that the ‘Greater Reality’ was nothing but an escape – the mystical realm is a culturally revered hallucination – and that completion was already here ... and had always been. (There are three world’s altogether ... the natural reality that 6.0 billion people live in and the super-natural Reality that .000001 of the population live in ... and this actual world. I call it actual because it is the world of this body and its sense organs only ... and nary a god or goddess to be found. This is because I left my ‘self’ behind in the ‘real world’ ... where it belongs). I would not – and could not – live a lie. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Alan, 12 January 1999) KUBA: It’s not that the motion is painful or anything like that, it’s a wonderful adventure but it’s actually happening … I don’t have a word for it because it’s not scary and yet it’s as if the hairs on my neck are standing up. VINEETO: Thrill perhaps? Or this other word? – Richard: Incidentally, here is perhaps the ‘fear of/ aversion to’ which would be most applicable to a would-be actualist: • metathesiophobia: fear of changes. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 79, 10 February 2005) KUBA: It seems that each time ‘I’ dare to give up some of ‘my’ territory there is the initial resistance etc and then once it goes there is a greater scope of enjoyment and appreciation available and then again ‘I’ put up a barrier a little lower down and play the same game over again. The tricks seem to come in to play in particular when there is that potential of the next bit of ‘my’ territory being given up. VINEETO: Again, once you establish the experiential connection to pure intent, the “genuinely occurring stream of benevolence and benignity” which blew you away, the initial resistance will melt away. Richard: The key to success lies in realising that fear does not go anywhere (meaning that nothing ever happens except more fear). (Richard, List Actual Freedom, No. 79, 21 June 2005) Cheers Vineeto December 9 2025 VINEETO: The desire for immortality certainly relates to the “Tried and Failed”, but it also relates to the instinctual programming to survive at any cost and the fact that ‘I’/ ‘me’ have usurped the role of this body’s keeper. Here is a fascinating insight from Richard on the origin of the universal belief in ‘my’ immortality – (…) CHRONO: Ah yes that makes sense that the “Tried and Failed” itself is a function of the instinctual programming. I remember reading that fascinating quote and it reminded me of the book “The Selfish Gene” but at the time I had never thought of ‘me’ as being the very genetic memory. As for dread, I find that it’s the looking away from that feeling which makes it churn. But I also don’t know how to stop looking away. VINEETO: Denying, pushing away or fighting fear in any way including being afraid of being afraid always adds fuel to the feeling of fear or dread. Look for the thrill. Here is a little story – ‘Vineeto’ to Alan: It reminds me of a weird and fascinating experience I had just two nights ago. I had had a light smoke, when I suddenly started to feel nauseous and very dizzy in the head. The physical symptoms came along with an acute fear to throw up, to black out, in short, to lose control over my body and my life. While Peter kept inquiring if there maybe was also some fear involved, not just a physical reaction, I was desperately trying to obtain control over my body. At the same time I was, of course, suspicious that it was all a play up of the ‘self’ trying to survive, but didn’t know how to deal with it. When I finally laid down on the floor and ‘surrendered’ to the option of being unconscious and was actually getting interested and thrilled by the possibility of observing the experience, it very quickly disappeared like a ghost. It left me astounded about the power of ‘reality’, the vividness of the experience that fear created with all the ingredients of a ‘serious’ disease, becoming unconscious. Only by accepting it as an adventure and at the same time doubting its actuality it lost its power over me, leaving me battered but proud like after a victorious, well-fought battle. The next night it happened again but was all much less dramatic, the temptation was there to delve into the fear, the physical symptoms were ready to emerge again, but this time I didn’t believe in the actual danger and it quickly went. (Vineeto, Actual Freedom List, Alan, 28.7.1998). * VINEETO: It is indeed “all-encompassing” and has not just “seeped” in – spirituality is part and parcel of being a ‘being’ because ‘being’ itself is not actual and as such ‘you’ are ‘a spirit being’, so to speak. (…) Richard: It is the same for a person who does not believe in the spiritualist’s soul, either (and no materialist does believe in one): not believing in a soul does not mean that ‘me’ as soul (aka ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being … which is ‘being’ itself) has become extinct … and that includes an actualist on the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom from the human condition. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27h, 1 April 2004). CHRONO: It’s very interesting how one can be this spirit being while also denying one is a spirit being. Perhaps some self-survival strategy. I realized this was also the issue with the Buddhist ‘no-self’ crowd. They equate ‘no-self’ with there being no spirit while denying that they are that very spirit which is doing the looking. Once again, all eyes off ‘me’. Richard’s whole exposition of modern and ancient Buddhism was a real eye opener. There is a useful word for it – cognitive dissonance. It is a most fascinating phenomenon of the instinctual survival passions in that one (unconsciously) will be overlooking, forgetting, disavowing, detaching from information or insight which appears to be threatening ‘my’ existence. An ever-increasing attentiveness will eventually sweep out all dark corners of one’s psyche and make cognitive dissonance redundant so that naiveté can flourish. Richard: To enable apperceptiveness to haply occur it is essential to allow a reflective attention – attentiveness – to one’s psychological and psychic world. It is impossible for one to intelligently observe what is going on within if one does not at the same time acknowledge the occurrence of one’s various feeling-tones with attentiveness. (…) A contemplative attention views all feelings as commensurate – nothing is suppressed and nothing is expressed – as attentiveness does not play favourites. Attentiveness gets not infatuated with the good feelings nor sidesteps the bad as attentiveness is a non-feeling awareness; a sensuous attention. Attentiveness is not sentimental susceptibility for it does not get involved with affection or empathy or get hung up on mercurial imaginations and capricious intuitions or ephemeral auguries. Attentiveness does not register feelings and compare the validity of experience according to it ‘feeling right’ or ‘feeling wrong’. (…) Please note that last point: in attentiveness, there is an observance of the ‘reality’ within, and such attention is the end of its embrace ... finish. Here lies apperception. (Richard’s Journal, Appendix Five). Cheers Vineeto December 11 2025 FELIX: Hi Vineeto, I didn’t even realise you had replied but now I came to write something and it was amazing how apropos what you wrote was. I wanted to write because I am having somewhat of an epiphany right at the moment. Something really, really significant – I can feel it is because all the tectonic plates are shifting in my brain. It’s not my usual experiencing, I’m feeling a big shift that’s causing big changes to my feeling experience as I write, even at this very moment [not so easy to describe in words but 1) a release of feeling good 2) feeling “unlocked” 3) nervous system relaxation 4) shifting of perception of the way things are]. And it’s all happening because of investigation into one thing – safety. VINEETO: Hi Felix, What deliciously good news. It looks like you have had tangible success in finding to break the vicious cycle of staying trapped in fear. This is a huge step forward towards more ease and enjoyment – and more to come as you say that “all the tectonic plates are shifting in my brain”. It reminds me of what feeling being ‘Vineeto’ reported to Richard – Richard: … “after the first few weeks of listening to me/ reading my words. Speaking in regards to the effects any and all attempts to fit this totally new paradigm into ‘her’ existing mindset were having, ‘she’ explained the process as being ... (1.) as if ‘her’ brain was being turned upside-down ... and how (2.) ‘she’ was having to relearn how to think all over again. (Richard, List D, Alan, 29 February 2016). A lot of things started falling into place after that, sometimes of their own accord, once the ‘turning upside-down’ of ‘her’ brain was initiated. And for you, one of the key elements was to question, for the first time, if ‘safety’ as you saw it was what it made out to be, and “a huge internal belief framework around threat, stress and safety” is starting to crumble as a result. Well done. * FELIX: So it’s very apt that you wrote the following, which I am now answering even though I didn’t know you had asked me this: Vineeto: However, investigating the obstacles to feeling good is more looking for the reasons why you have those (sticky) negative feelings in the first place, in other words why you keep them. Is there a belief or moral/ dogma or other reason behind it? Are you defending a particular aspect of your identity? Indeed – I am currently seeing through a huge internal belief framework around threat, stress and safety. Usually, me and this threat detection are one and the same – my sense of identity is wrapped up in it, with all the fears and panic and emotional shutdown that comes with it. For the last few years I’ve had a distinct sense of being “emotionally shutdown” or “numb” … almost like there is a heavy grey sky over every thing that happens. Of course I was “trying to feel good”, but it seemed as if the grey sky with its threatening thunder and bolts of lightning was making it impossible. As if you and Richard were asking me to look at that grey scary sky and call it a clear, blue one. I have felt trapped by actualism, trapped by the real world, and trapped by my own brain/ psyche – as I scrambled. All the time it felt the walls were closing in, that I didn’t have enough air, that I was stuck in a kind of pressure cooker – seemingly caused by the need to become free juxtaposed with my apparent inability to do so. The paradoxical nature of actualism itself (to be an illusory self dismantling itself) also felt so scary too, like something important I couldn’t mess up. My brain has been in absolute overdrive trying to figure it all out, find the right explanations (such as hypotheses about having various conditions whether autism or chronic fatigue or childhood trauma) and try to explain all the trouble. It goes deeper than saying that the fear and panic there was a set of feelings I occasionally had. It would be more accurate to say that it has been my primary modus operandi. This neurotic, paranoid and fearful lens has been so engrained, and seemingly so encoded in the nervous system (appearing to be an actual survival strategy or survival response) that I was not able to see a possibility outside of it. I saw myself/ the world like that and any thought or feeling I had seemed to fit itself into that overarching perception. I even wonder if some of the PCEs I had actually exacerbated all of this too. It was a hypothesis of Richard at the time (that I may have been freaked out by the PCEs). Indeed I have had a sense of being so emotionally frozen – not suffering intense emotional extremes (depression, grief, euphoria etc) – but nevertheless suffering a kind of chronic shutdown state. So I clung to all the supposed actualism “rules” I’d memorised, along with various insights and pieces of advice from Richard, yourself and others, just trying to find a way to survive in my circumstances. VINEETO: Well, when you read this piece of writing again in a few days, when more of the changes in the background have had time to come into effect, you will see that the core ‘self’-survival mechanism, ‘me’, has turned feeling good and all the memorized “supposed actualism ‘rules’” into weapons to keep you stressed and frightened, and have as such cemented this very structure you were seeking to escape from. It was only your determined persistence that there must be another way to live, that this cannot be all there is to life, which finally brought results, and you made a big dent into this “internal belief framework” sabotaging any success before. The success was instantly visible and tangible – “1) a release of feeling good 2) feeling “unlocked” 3) nervous system relaxation 4) shifting of perception of the way things are”. FELIX: It’s so strange how something so loud and obvious (and obnoxious!:)) has escaped my awareness for so long. I think fear has had me totally in its grip, that I couldn’t see things clearly enough to disentangle myself from it. VINEETO: Dear Felix, it is not strange at all, this is part and parcel of the survival program to avoid and prevent change at all cost once you learnt a technique very early in life how to survive under specific circumstances. It’s only “loud and obvious” when you are out of the tunnel, not before. You can really pat yourself on the back and then some more – it has been an enormous task to tackle and dig yourself out from. The cute part is, once one aspect is resolved, there are no scars and barely any memories of it either. FELIX: How can I be so cunning as to evade my own fear? Now I see that everything I do, I do out of fear. And I think I am seeing there is something beyond it. Wow. VINEETO: This is well and truly wonderful and Kuba told you his own story how he was trapped by fear and found his way out. This can give encouragement to everyone reading of both your successes. Cheers Vineeto December 13 2025 VINEETO to Adam-H: Ha, it sounds like a terrible chore the way you put it “I have to actually be felicitous and innocuous” – don’t make it into a moral doctrine or precept to be obeyed else it gets corrupted into a tool to keep you miserable. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Adam-H, 11 December 2025). ANDREW: This is what I understand to be the difference between actuality / the condition-less enjoyment of being alive, and ‘being’ as the ‘human condition’; each moment of ‘being’ is a trial, a test, a do or die ultimatum. It’s never anything but a trudging battle against the obvious inevitability of failure. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, If for you “each moment of ‘being’ is a trial”, “a trudging battle against the obvious inevitability of failure”, as it apparently was a decade ago when you wrote the memorable sentence “I gird myself for battle every morning”, isn’t it high time to locate this belief (truth) and closely examine it so that you can do something about it, i.e. abandon it for good? Nobody but you forces you to be either a warrior or a failure. When you sincerely recognize that ‘you’ are your feelings and your feelings are ‘you’, you have the choice to be a more felicitous and innocuous feeling and decline to continue being resentful. For instance, you can locate your basic resentment of being alive on this wonderful green and azure planet and recognize, from the depth of your ‘being’ that it is a pathetic [pertaining to the emotions and passions] waste of this very moment of being alive, and plain silly to keep this aspect of your affective personality alive for another day. Have a look at Richard’s selected correspondence on this topic for further inspiration, if you are inclined to sincerely let resentment go. (Richard, Selected Correspondence, Resentment). ANDREW: I woke this morning with the feeling of acute anxiety in my chest. Later in the day it occurred to me that there was no such thing as “anxiety in my chest”. That my heart may indeed be reacting to my jogging exercise, and my beer intake, but “terror” was never in my actual chest. VINEETO: Oh yes, it is in your actual chest – denial is not going to solve anything. Here is an example of such a (spiritually-inspired) way of denial – RESPONDENT: Fear as we know is but an after-thought. RICHARD: Pure fear is an affective feeling ... a passion. It has nothing to do with thought. RESPONDENT: There is just the preparedness of the body to meet with situations. RICHARD: You are way out on your own in the scientific field of biology here, because ‘the preparedness of the body to meet with situations’ is known as the ‘freeze or fight or flight’ reaction ... and the body is brimming with adrenaline. In other words: pure fear. This is what science looks like ... not that pseudo-science you are coming out with. RESPONDENT: Well, ‘pure fear’ is the description – what happens in such a moment is indescribable under best of the situations, scientific or otherwise. RICHARD: It is not ‘indescribable’ at all ... it is the adrenaline coursing through your veins; the heart pumping furiously; the palms sweaty; the face blanched white; knuckles gripped; body tensed and so on and so on (leading to ‘freeze’ or ‘fight’ or ‘flight’). Of course it can be described ... and in nuances ranging from disquietude, uneasiness, nervousness or apprehension through to anxiety, fear, terror, horror, panic and dread. RESPONDENT: Krishnamurti correctly points out: word fear is not the fear. RICHARD: Of course the word ‘fear’ is not fear itself ... it is a name for it so that we can communicate. Do you take me to be an idiot? Some other correspondent came out with similar twaddle (offering me the word ‘coffee’ instead of the actual substance) and this is just as silly. Look, fear is the adrenaline coursing through your veins; the heart pumping furiously; the palms sweaty; the face blanched white; knuckles gripped; body tensed and so on and so on. Observing this, in both oneself and in others – and in animals – this is ‘observing with the objectivity of a scientist’. (...) And all sentient beings are born with this fear. (Richard, List B, No. 33, 3 October 1999) All passionate feelings, especially when experienced repeatedly and persistently, release chemicals (for instance adrenaline and cortisol) acting unfavourably on your physical body. Stress is slowly being acknowledged as being responsible for certain diseases and health problems. Richard: Hormones – such as the adrenaline an angry and/or fearful identity psychosomatically induces a body to secrete – are indeed actual. Viz.: • adrenaline: a hormone, (HO)2C6H3rCHOHrCH2NHCH3, secreted by the adrenal medulla of people and animals under stress, which has a range of physiological effects, e.g. on circulation, breathing, muscular activity, and carbohydrate metabolism’. (Oxford Dictionary). (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Tarin, 21 June 2006). In contrast – Respondent: I’d be interested in hearing whether Richard (...) still experience rushes of adrenaline. Richard: I do not experience rushes of adrenaline. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27a, 30 January 2002). In case you are looking for an additional convincing reason (apart from feeling bad) to be attentive to how you experience being alive and choose to be a different feeling when you do not enjoy /appreciate being alive, then a wish to not have “the feeling of acute anxiety” with physical side-effects in your chest might give you additional motivation. Cheers Vineeto December 13 2025 FELIX: Hello to you both, lovely to hear from you. Kuba , your writing has been excellent lately – I’m not sure if it is different from before or whether my capacity to appreciate it has increased (or maybe both!). I don’t feel competitive anymore. It’s funny hey, how much fear really pushes one around internally. It fuels certain lines of thought propels particular strategies, closes certain doors of enquiry, and prevents clear thinking or seeing. It’s powerful and it acts from a place of trying to keep one safe, even though it’s actually doing the bloody opposite usually! VINEETO: Hi Felix, A splendid analysis, if I may say so. FELIX: Vineeto, thanks for your encouragement and apt references and anecdotes. I’m relishing your writing and very appreciative of your contribution. My diminished fear has removed the bee out of my bonnet (and the chip off my shoulder) regarding actualism and suddenly it’s a real thrill and pleasure to be involved with others and benefit from your particular expertise and insight as well. To what you wrote, indeed it’s amazing the degree to which this fear operated, unseen. To me it seems the strong feelings of fear protected and bolstered a very strong sense of ego – and that this ego (operating primarily as a very powerful sense of control/ doership) would not allow itself to be “captured” or discovered, so to speak. VINEETO: Your different way of writing certainly indicates that a noisy “bee” and a large “chip” have disappeared, and now a naiveté prevails which can consider the benefit of others as well as your own. It’s a precious time when your brain is rearranging itself to the new circumstances, and the thing right now to pay special attentiveness to any subtle machinations in the background trying to create a new persona to fill this beneficial gap created by the diminished chunk of fear, which has disappeared only a few days ago. It’s a common strategy of ‘me’ to replace the old persona with a new one, hence my cautionary note. What you can do instead is to delightedly settle in and feel at home with this budding naiveté where you are not quite sure what is happening but are nevertheless thrilled and fascinated to be alive and let more and more life live you. FELIX: As much of the actualism website is dedicated to the necessity to look at feelings/ soul rather than thought/ego, I’ll clarify that I’m not saying that feelings weren’t the culprit … just that it was my own evasive sense of ‘I’ that seemed to want to perpetuate itself. And this very pointed and inflamed sense of “I” was primarily fuelled by intense fear … mostly around things like criticism, status, perception, self in relation to others (as opposed to lions or tigers which would be more worthy of such fear!). VINEETO: The reason for mainly using “feelings/ soul rather than thought/ego” in the writings on the website is because the equivalence of thought and ego, and therefore vilification of thought, is the way of the old, spiritual paradigm intending to lure you into the pursuit of ego-death aka enlightenment, whilst ignoring the vital part that the instinctual feelings, particularly the so-called ‘good’ feelings play in the creation of misery and mayhem. Have you ever considered that this “very strong sense of ego” is/was also responsible for your self-castigation and the self-inflicted stress you experienced? In other words, you were caught in the dichotomy of pride and humility, ego and self-castigation with no tangible resolution. Or in Richard’s words – Richard: In actual freedom both sorrow and malice are eliminated, along with the ego and the soul. Evil does not exist in the world, it exists only in the human psyche ... eliminate the psyche in its entirety and you have eliminated both Good and Evil. (‘Good’ is a psychic phenomenon created to combat ‘Evil’). As the Enlightened Beings have only transcended duality, they have to cling to ‘The Good’ in order to resist ‘The Bad’. Hence also their pacifism. (Richard, List A, No. 7, No. 01) * Richard: By the time I had worked my way through this philosophical dilemma [of pacifism] I had to turn my sights upon the last thing that stood between me and an actual freedom. I would have to let go of the deeply ingrained concept of ‘The Good’. For this to happen I would have to eliminate ‘The Bad’ in me, or else I would be likely to go off the rails and run amok. Little did I realise that it was ‘The Good’ that kept ‘The Bad’ in place. I was soon to find this out. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, List B, No. 31, 7 Mar 2000) In other words, all of it, both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ and the battle between the two are part of the old paradigm, while being naďve and enjoying and appreciating being alive is the new paradigm. FELIX: In that context it makes sense now why I have been so intensely analytical – an “overthinker” who was trying to attempt a top-down, intellectual coup on my entire system (with fairly disastrous results I might add). Luckily the fact I have been aware over the years, at least as a “witness”, has also given me insight into the kinds of routes to not bother going down again … such as intense self-improvement, comparison to others, self-castigation, stress/ neuroticism, misanthropy, to name a few. In my intense insecurity I was always attempting to gain some kind of imagined psychological dominion over others to find “safety”, often through ambition and self-judgement. Being perceived to be less than others or an object of criticism from the herd was extremely threatening stuff, like an annihilation. It wasn’t always just intense fear, often it came as a constant gnawing anxiety. And my desires were just as fuelled by fear as well – the desire to be good enough, to evade criticism, to be infallible, to achieve, to be a free spirit etc etc. Desire seems to be the flip side of fear. VINEETO: Now that you describe it in all its painful details – what a blessed disappearance of these “feelings, belief structures and behaviours”. They have conspired in concerted effort like a tight-woven web to keep you imprisoned … until … until you were so fed up with suffering and had gathered enough courage to look straight into the core (which is far more than ego) – Felix: Now I see that everything I do, I do out of fear. And I think I am seeing there is something beyond it. FELIX: It’s weird how certain feelings, belief structures and behaviours can disappear. I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced such a big “chunk” of my issues going at once. There is some clean up still, certain habits and automatic reactions and such, but the main engine seems to be really disengaged. With that gone, I’m finding there is an “underneath” to all of this that I can sense. I’m closer (at times) if I can put it that way. There’s a sense of softness, of sensuousness, that makes this moment liveable in a different way to what I’m accustomed to. It feels so safe as well, and with that safety I feel emotionally open and there is a sincerity that is a pleasure to feel. A sweetness! And with that sweetness the sense of intensity around the need to become free has become more, not less – even though my feeling-led intensity has rapidly diminished. At times when I lean into the appreciation of this potentiality the tears come to my eyes. I don’t want humans to suffer any longer, and I see that suffering all around … in news articles, in overheard conversations, in personal interactions, in the comment sections of social media platforms, in documentaries, in fictional series. I can “feel” it – I know what I am seeing in others when they complain, when they grieve, when they fight, when they are in shock, when they are bored. I know it all, I know it from where it is often hardest to see of all, in me. And while this is good back pressure, I’m listening when you say that “the actualism method is enjoying and appreciating, not diving into deep emotions for the sake of it.” There’s a fun and smooooth enjoyment in making contact with This Moment of Being Alive. I’m tasting it here and there, sinking in slowly to a sense of delight. I want the full shebang but I know not to force either … I enjoy as is available to me at the time, based on the (physical/ sensorial) circumstances as they are. I’m enjoying as I write this. Indeed there is a sense of being a moth drawn to a flame. Honestly, it makes me want total death … haha – which would be alarming to most if said on the street or to “loved ones” but I say it without any depression or morbidity whatsoever. To suffer unconscious feeling cycles and to be danced around like a marionette by “life circumstances” is much closer to something morbid, surely. Whereas to be right where one is, without any fears or fantasies, and enjoying and appreciating what reveals itself to have been under one’s nose – is to be much more alive already. It makes me want to experience more and invites rememoration of the fact I have already experienced (psychological) death before, and it was not only safe but totally wondrous and perfect. VINEETO: Indeed, when that sweetness of spontaneous appreciation pervades you (when pure intent is tangibly experienced like an actually occurring stream of benevolence and benignity that originates in the vast and utter stillness that is the essential character of the universe itself) then all you want to do is keep allowing it and keep appreciating it. Richard: “(...). One can bring about a benediction from that perfection and purity which is the essential character of the universe by contacting and cultivating one’s original state of naiveté. Naiveté is that intimate aspect of oneself that is the nearest approximation that one can have of actual innocence – there is no innocence so long as there is a rudimentary self – and constant awareness of naive intimacy results in a continuing benediction. This blessing allows a connection to be made between oneself and the perfection and purity as is evidenced in a PCE. This connection I call pure intent. Pure intent endows one with the ability to operate and function safely in society without the incumbent social identity with its ever-vigilant conscience. Thus reliably rendered virtually innocent and relatively harmless by the benefaction of the perfection and purity, one can begin to dismantle the now-redundant social identity. The virtual magnanimity endowed by pure intent obviates the necessity for a social identity, born out of society’s values, to be extant and controlling the wayward self with a societal conscience”. (Richard, List B, No. 31, 21 July 1998). Cheers Vineeto
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