Please note that the reports and correspondence below were compiled by Claudiu while he was living an out-from-under-control virtual freedom. ## Claudiu’s Reports on living an Out-from-control Virtual Freedom Part Three September 9, 2024, 12:59 PM WEST claudiu: Hello all, I’m happy to announce the newest addition to the AFT site has just gone live: “Reports on being Out-from-Control”. This contains selected reports from Richard & Vineeto’s writings, as well as my own recent reports of my ongoing out-from-control experience. My section contains a lot of previously-unpublished material, all in a chronological, put-together order. I think it serves the purpose well of showing what it’s experientially like to be out-from-control, with a higher level of detail than has been previously available. To those who know the flavour of pure intent, are familiar with PCEs, and in particular have experienced the greatly heightened and more-readily available appreciation that has recently been pouring forth (as reported by many in “Richard has passed away” and “Excerpts of All-pervading Sweetness”), I’ll take this opportunity to encourage you to read the reports with the intention in mind of taking this next step of going out-from-control yourselves. It is a smaller step to take than it seems before-hand and yet the ramifications are much larger than one might initially appreciate. I can report that it is perfectly safe, wonderful, wondrous, mirificent, and eminently doable. Cheers & best regards, Claudiu Claudiu, DAO: Reports on being Out-from-Control, 9 September 2024 September 13, 2024, 12:00 PM WEST claudiu: I’m happy to announce the newest addition to the AFT site has just gone live: “Reports on being Out-from-Control”. This contains selected reports from Richard & Vineeto’s writings, as well as my own recent reports of my ongoing out-from-control experience. My section contains a lot of previously-unpublished material, all in a chronological, put-together order. I think it serves the purpose well of showing what it’s experientially like to be out-from-control, with a higher level of detail than has been previously available. Claudiu, DAO: Reports on being Out-from-Control, 9 September 2024 kuba: So I have finished reading the reports now, although the facts of my experience speak for themselves at this point it is still great to see that things line up. There was a couple of things that stood out : vineeto [to Claudiu]: Devika is the only person who was out-from-control and permanently abandoned the whole enterprise of becoming actually free, because of stage-freight, using falling in love and Love-Agape to help her abandon it. (Richard, List D, No. 2, 16 Nov 09) and (Richard, List D, No. 6, #Irene). It was a deliberate decision on her part to turn away for good. Which means, being confronted with some occurring obstacle, which is part and parcel of investigating the human condition, is not the same thing as falling back to normal. It’s part and parcel of the actualism process as long as you connect back with pure intent and continue to experience that the brakes don’t work at the end of the “parenthesis” period. Vineeto, E-mail to Claudiu, 3 September 2024 kuba: This was a nice thing to read because it means that in making the decision to step out from control ‘I’ may have got myself onto a one way ride, one that is unlikely to end in anything but ‘my’ demise, considering this puts a smile on my face every time Kuba, DAO: Reports on being Out-from-Control, 13 September 2024 claudiu: Hehehe yes I have had this realization on occasion, that there’s actually apparently nothing I can do to turn back! The immediate reaction is a mounting alarm, at which point I realize that this is what I actually wanted, and instead I’m left in wonderment. kuba: Also: vineeto [to Claudiu]: You have come to what Richard called the “pen-ultimate step” in your actualism process – leaving humanity, i.e. giving up belonging. To maintain your sincerity you find that you can neither maintain belonging to the actualist camp nor the non-actualist camp nor any other camp. This realisation is naturally quite uncomfortable for ‘me’, both the instinctually felt need to belong in order to survive and the peasant mentality aspect of the social identity. Hence, of course, “it feels like I am doing something ‘wrong’”. Vineeto, E-mail to Claudiu, 20 August 2024 kuba: And this is what I find myself smack bang in the middle it’s fascinating that abandoning ‘humanity’ means a movement towards pure intent, only pure intent. […] It seems the core of the resistance is essentially a fear of being seen as completely insane, and the danger this apparently presents. […] But I recognise this as the next step, to abandon ‘humanity’, to no longer have the ability to ‘fit’ into it, to no longer have the capacity to belong or even to relate to other identities […] Kuba, DAO: Reports on being Out-from-Control, 13 September 2024 claudiu: Yea this is a vital topic, and perhaps the following report will speak to James’s query: james: What is your experience of leaving humanity? James, DAO: Reports on being Out-from-Control, 9 September 2024 Increasingly I find myself being remarkably puzzled at people’s reactions. I will say something that is completely sincere, straightforward, harmless, curious even – and I can feel via vibes or psychic currents that something in ‘them’ reacted, they are now defensive, even in one case became remarkably aggressive and offensive. And instead of getting retributively defensive which was the norm before, now my reaction is more – what on odd reaction! Why would they react this way? It doesn’t make any sense. Thinking about it now, of course it is obvious why – they are in the pit of the human condition, this is completely ‘normal’. But actually it makes no sense at all. This speaks to what you are saying here Kuba about not being able to relate to others (but we can still pay lip service!!) In a remarkable sense it’s that anytime anybody gets upset about anything, it is essentially all imaginary, none of this is ‘real’. Of course they feel upset, but… the whole ‘construct’ of ‘being upset’ doesn’t actually exist. It’s like suddenly someone gets possessed by some other-worldly ‘force’ that they allow to happen and drive them to do this silly thing. From the point of view of the actual world, that is exactly what is happening, that “other-worldly ‘force’” is nothing other than the human condition in action. From the point of view of the real world, of course it is actuality which seems “other-worldly” and these feelings are all justified. The remarkably freeing thing is seeing that I don’t have to participate, at all! I have an experiential report that maybe some can relate to and it can help them to see what I mean. On many an occasion in the past, I would be having a relatively vivid dream, and some truly horrible circumstance would be happening in the dream. Just something actually awful. And I would be worried, upset, trying to solve the problem, etc. Yet at some point I semi-recognize that I’m dreaming, and I was able to take this stance along the lines of “this can all just go away and it doesn’t matter” – at which point that upset *completely vanished* as I realized it was just a dream (sometimes this would happen soon after waking rather than in the dream). In essence it was a full ‘reset’. What I find now is that – I am doing this in normal, waking life! It is really very simple. I’m just able to see that I *can* do such a ‘reset’ (i.e. get back to feeling good), and it happens! It’s like I’m able to easily and rapidly completely wipe the slate clean. And… *nothing bad happens* as a result of this! No fact of the situation changes, and I function even better in life, the actual problems still get addressed (it’s not a burying head in the sand)… it’s just this total emotional wiping of the slate to be virtually pure and pristine instead. And it strikes me that that’s exactly what the actualism method is! And in terms of leaving humanity, it is in a sense coming to grips with the fact that *I can just do this* and *I can “get away” with it*! This is why the actual world is ever-fresh, pure, and pristine… nothing ‘dirty’ ever gets in because all this that we feel as ‘dirty’ has as much existence as the dream, i.e. none at all actually. The ‘real world’ is like a dream super-imposed onto actuality that we take to be serious, but it isn’t, not at all. There is nothing about it that is actual, tangible, factual, and nothing about it that needs to be preserved. Everything functions much better without it! That’s all for now Cheers, Claudiu Claudiu, DAO: Reports on being Out-from-Control, 13 September 2024 September 20, 2024, 3:02 PM WEST claudiu: Things are fantabulously fantastic :)) It is difficult to construct words to adequately describe how amazingly wondrous life is when living this near-perfection. A busy workday is no longer something that causes any stress, but is just a delightful opportunity for the already-existing and well-developed cognitive faculties to become engaged. Situations that initially feel like they would be stressful, I think about whether there really is any reason to stress about it, and I see that it’s just like any other situation, a matter of steps to take, one after the other, each bringing the situation closer to a resolution. In a way I would describe myself as experiencing emotions more than before, not less. There is no filter, or suppression, or backing away from experiencing them fully. Yet when I find myself taking actions in the world even while experiencing such intensity, I find that they are caring and considerate actions that are for the most part unaffected by what I’m feeling. It’s just something to experience and then the experience of it shows there’s a better way, i.e. that the non-felicitous feelings are redundant and not necessary. Yesterday night while driving home from the gym I experienced how what actual freedom is actually literally perfection! It is the way I always wanted life to be – actually perfect, as in, thoroughly, 100% of every possible aspect of being alive is perfect, there is no need to compromise on any aspect of how I experience myself. This is now just very straightforwardly something I want and am actively pursuing of how to cross the finish line at last, rather than something that in the past I would be encouraging myself to pursue – if that distinction makes sense :)) It is all truly wonderful and I directly experience it now that my days are very numbered indeed! Claudiu, DAO: Claudiu’s Journal, 20 September 2024
Claudiu’s Reports, Part 2... | Out-from-Control Reports Index
Correspondence with Vineeto | Correspondence with Richard
Report of Visiting Richard & Vineeto | Actual Freedom Homepage
Freedom from the Human Condition – Happy and Harmless Claudiu, Vineeto & Richard’s Text ©The Actual Freedom Trust: 1997- . All Rights Reserved. Disclaimer and Use Restrictions and Guarantee of Authenticity