Please note that the correspondence below was written by the feeling-being subscriber from Mailing List D who was interested in the practice of Actualism and who met up with Richard and Vineeto from March 9-16, 2013. (The numbers of the correspondents match Richard’s D Mailing-list numbering).
Respondent No. 25 Report on Mailing List D about his Meeting with Richard and Vineeto March 24 2013 5:42 am Message 13110 Visit with Richard and Vineeto RESPONDENT No. 25: List members – I just want to report that I recently spent a fabulous week in Australia with Richard and Vineeto sorting out some questions I had accumulated over the years regarding actualism, as well as questions regarding the events in 2009/2010. I will just state briefly for now that I was pleasantly surprised by a wonderful visit and can personally confirm the fact that Richard and Vineeto are living what they say they are. They are embodied pure intent and the effects of my visit are palpable in my own life. I have been much happier (and more harmless) overall since the trip and know that an actual freedom is possible, not theoretic only, and that it is the way I want to live my life.... 100%. My previous objections and confusions, although understandable based on limited information, are insignificant next to the concrete fact of encountering two people demonstrating an actual freedom as fact on a daily basis. That’s all I will say for now, except that I am working on the composition of a publishable journal regarding the details of my visit, although it will take some time to make it readable and publicly accessible. I have been having the most fun in years since my trip... actualism once again seems to be well worth the journey... and it is truly wide and wondrous!! Cheers, No. 25 Mar 24, 2013 6:28 am Message 13112 Re: Visit with Richard and Vineeto RESPONDENT No. 15: Thats awesome, No. 25. Thanks for sharing. I’m happy to hear how well its working for you. If its going to take a while to write up (I totally understand time constraints) can I ask what three things you learnt that stand out the most? Or is that too much of a spoiler for the full journal? :-) Warm regards No. 15 RESPONDENT No. 25: If I had to pick three things... 1) Vineeto and Richard are sincerely living what they say they are... it is just plain fact. 2) An actual freedom is available to anyone who wants it enough and is willing to explore as a pioneer and step out of the way as an altruistic act of self sacrifice... which need not evoke fears of ultimate loss; rather, it is an ultimate gain. Along with that, the presence of Richard and/or any other actualist is not required to become free. Actualism is all about having fun... Not dark nights, depressions, or digging deeply into the underside of the self or worrying over how to live properly. All of that is counter productive. It is quite simply a fantastic journey that culminates in complete and utter fulfillment. 3) There is much information that is misleading on mailing lists regarding the events of 2009-2010, along with the reports of the person of Indian origin who set out to join the actualists, but wound up dissociating herself from them and dragging them and Richard ‘through the mud’ of her own making. Along with this, I now know that ‘Jack Smith’s’ doubts regarding actualism are ultimately baseless, although he had considerable first hand experience with them. I am not baldly stating he is a ‘liar...’ though I can confidently state that much of his information was second hand and he relied on unreliable sources for his information. Finally, I would add that Richard is probably the most sensible and pragmatic person I have ever met. It is impossible for a sensible and completely sincere person to come away from intense interaction with him not wanting to live life free from the human condition as it is quite evident that it entails freedom from all affective suffering. More to come later... Best, No. 25 Mar 25, 2013 7:04 am Message 13120 Re: Visit with Richard and Vineeto CLAUDIU: Hi all, Glad to hear your visit went well, No. 25! It sounds like you met the very same people that I did as I had very much the same impressions after my visit. (...) The way it seemed to happen for me – really understanding actualism, I mean – is that I was able to observe how Richard and Vineeto were in the world, how they acted, how they lived, what they talked about, etc. From there it was obvious they were not only harmless but also meant well. Then it became clear that they really were what they described themselves on the AFT as being. From there that opened up the possibility that they were actually living something original and new, that I had not read anywhere else or experienced anybody else to be. That then made it possible to consider that meditation was indeed leading me in the opposite direction. Then I could actually make a choice – keep going as I had been, or change course pretty radically. And I simply liked them more than I did the others I have met and talked to about what could broadly be called the quest for the meaning of life, e.g. Tarin, Trent, Dan Ingram, Kenneth Folk, to name a few. They were just having so much fun! And I was having fun too. And to be honest, it’s just so nice to be having a good time and to be enjoying being alive as opposed to not. And that’s really all there is to it. And now it might be a good time to ask yourself, if you are interested – why do it? It’s so pointless from a real-world perspective to have enjoying being alive as your ultimate goal. What’s the point? That won’t necessarily lead to lasting relationships, or to good jobs, or good income, or a family, or becoming well-known or well-respected, or leaving a legacy behind or anything like that. Living actually free is definitely pointless from the real-world perspective. (...) RESPONDENT No. 25: Hi Claudiu, I can relate especially to the importance of seeing actualism in action, so to speak. And I completely agree that having fun is well, better than not having fun! And I can now understand that it is really as simple as that! With your question regarding ‘why?’, I can only say that I agree that it makes no sense from a ‘real world’ perspective... yet I find that perspective does not apply. Ultimately what everyone is looking for does not exist in the ‘real world’ anyway... so at some point that has to be a recognition that nothing in the ‘real world’ will ultimately satisfy. Then, one is willing to try something new. I also noticed what a grand time Richard and Vineeto were having, along with how ‘I’ was spoiling my experience of life. Fun, humor, combined with sincerity beats seriousness, depression, compassion, dark nights, etc... hands down! Best, No. 25 Mar 26, 2013 12:50 am Message 13126 Re: Visit with Richard and Vineeto RESPONDENT No. 19: thanks No. 25 for your feedback... count me as one more person who is eager to hear more from you.. some thoughts below... * RESPONDENT No. 25: Hi Claudiu, I can relate especially to the importance of seeing actualism in action, so to speak. And I completely agree that having fun is well, better than not having fun! And I can now understand that it is really as simple as that! With your question regarding ‘why?’, I can only say that I agree that it makes no sense from a ‘real world’ perspective... yet I find that perspective does not apply. Ultimately what everyone is looking for does not exist in the ‘real world’ anyway... RESPONDENT No. 19: i think healthy action and resultant satisfaction does exist outside of actualism... no? maybe what you saw was genuine, but does that rule out other possibilities? (i mean conditional happiness and striving for it, through a mixture of personal various values and possessions and social standings). RESPONDENT No. 25: I intended to indicate with the word ‘Ultimately’ that I am talking about the ‘meaning of life’ in an ultimate sense... complete and permanent fulfillment does not exist in the ‘real world.’ Sure, conditional ‘happiness’ is available, but it is ultimately unsatisfactory. If that is not the case, then one has no reason to pursue freedom.... If that were the case, I would ask, ‘freedom from what?’ * RESPONDENT No. 25: so at some point that has to be a recognition that nothing in the ‘real world’ will ultimately satisfy. Then, one is willing to try something new. I also noticed what a grand time Richard and Vineeto were having, along with how ‘I’ was spoiling my experience of life. Fun, humor, combined with sincerity beats seriousness, ... RESPONDENT No. 19: wonder why it is hard to get the impression of fun and humor through the written word. RESPONDENT No. 25: I don’t think it is really difficult, although there are certain confusions that can occur that may eclipse that impression. * RESPONDENT No. 25: Fun, humor, combined with sincerity beats seriousness, depression, compassion, dark nights, etc... hands down! RESPONDENT No. 19: but surely... one had to cross all these to get where one is now? or maybe this is no more the case now? i am referring to ‘nerves of steel’, ‘intestinal fortitude’ etc. RESPONDENT No. 25: A couple of things I learned during my stay is that Richard uses expressive language and one should not take his metaphors too rigidly. Also, I would say that the events since 2009 have started a new understanding of how an actual freedom comes about... most importantly for Richard. I would guess that the ‘nerves of steel,’ and ‘intestinal fortitude’ come from Richard’s earlier writings. He told me once ... ‘I used to think the PCE was essential to becoming free...’ ( Or something similar) but then he had an experience where someone became free without remembering a PCE!! So, that one went out the window! Not that a PCE isn’t beneficial. I think it is important to remember that we are still pioneers and Richard realized in 2009 and after that much of the territory is still being discovered and one is better off keeping your notions flexible. For example, he reported several people just ‘slipping into’ freedom without knowing how it happened. No wall of fear... No nerves of steel... None of that. It seems to me that some of those expressions stem somewhat from Richard being the first one to become free. Still, I would agree that it does take an extraordinary person to go the distance during these pioneering times, and in that sense it does take the courage of your convictions and intestinal fortitude at times, although these are bound to be relatively temporary. Maybe once more people become free, one won’t need to be so extraordinary. Cheers, No. 25 Mar 26, 2013 2:31 am Message 13128 Re: Visit with Richard and Vineeto RESPONDENT No. 38: Hi No. 25, thanks for sharing, that’s pretty inspiring :) RESPONDENT No. 25: ‘He told me once ...’I used to think the PCE was essential to becoming free...’ ( Or something similar) but then he had an experience where someone became free without remembering a PCE!!’ RESPONDENT No. 38: Could you share who that is? This also make me curious about: Do you know if there are other actualists or actually free people outside these internet forums? Do all the actually free persons are mentioned in the AFT homepage or there are others outside from the online world -perhaps known and frequented personally by Richard – which remain unknown/anonymous on the Internet? RESPONDENT No. 25: Hi No. 38, If I remember correctly, this person has been referenced in some of the relatively recent correspondence that is archived on the website. I am not easily able to find the reference, so I would prefer to preserve this person’s privacy, but if I am not mistaken – this incident has already been made known publicly, although I don’t recall whether the aspect of not having remembered a PCE was included in the account. This will be referenced in my journal when I publish it, although I will obviously give Richard and Vineeto the ability to give feedback regarding what they consider private versus public information prior to publishing the journal. I do not want to unwittingly make private information available publicly without consent. I will give them the final say in regards to what information they will consent to be made public. Regarding whether I know if there are other actualists or actually free people outside these forums... I find that question difficult to answer... I really don’t know who is on the forum or is involved in some way. I know that some of the free people do not seem to exhibit much interest in participating on the forum and at least one or more don’t want to be asked questions. They each value their privacy. I can easily come up with a list of people on or off the website that I am told are actually free in some sense... (there are different stages / versions of freedom). The list of free and/or purported free people is as such – Richard, Peter, Vineeto, Pamela, [Name Witheld], Justine (who had never met Richard prior to becoming free), Tom (but only as *confirmed* by him), a woman from the US (who had never met Richard), and the person I referenced above who became free within 24 hrs of meeting Richard without having remembered a PCE. Regards, No. 25 Mar 28, 2013 4:13 am Message 13167 Re: fuck this shit CLAUDIU: The way it’s been working out for me is that as I get into a better and better mood, sensuosity increases accordingly. Before, and especially when doing aff, I would be in a bad or shitty mood and I would then try to notice the senses more and more, thinking that the more I perceive and the cleaner I perceive, the closer I would be to being actually free. That doesn’t really make any sense, though. What prevents me from being in actuality is not that I am not perceiving cleanly enough, it’s that ‘I’ am here (affective identity). If I try to notice the senses more and more, what actually happens is that ‘I’ expand to try to cover all of the senses more and more, also becoming more invisible in the process. This is certainly not the way to freedom. Now, what I notice happening is that first I get into a better mood, and once I am in a better mood, the senses naturally become far more pleasant. Not spending so much energy on feeling bad, everything else naturally comes into the forefront. It’s not a matter of forcing anything, or ignoring feeling bad in order to try and be more sensuous. Rather, it’s just another reward for feeling good. (...) RESPONDENT No. 25: We are definitely on the same page, Claudiu. I see so much of my own experience and trajectory in what you write. I do think that seeing actual freedom in action is contagious because it is just so much irresistible fun!! All of the words are secondary to the primary goal of enjoying the deliciousness of this moment! I don’t want to give the wrong impression that I no longer get dragged down by feeling bad, even for some extended periods of time, but I can reasonably attest to the flavor and different way of being I experienced as a result of being with people who were literally the embodiment of pure intent. It seems that I am able summon that memory to get myself back on track when needed. Cheers, – No. 25 Afterword (draft copy from the proposed publishable journal) RESPONDENT No. 25: I was convinced during my trip that Richard and Vineeto are living exactly the way they say they are. Not once did I sense a vibe from Richard, and I am reasonably confident of the same from Vineeto. The only thing I would notice from both of them, more so from Vineeto, is that when I would start speaking in a way that they disagreed with, they might look down and politely wait for me to finish speaking until they would their turn to interject something. I remember Vineeto looking slightly serious a couple of times when she was concerned that Richard was just chatting away and thus I was potentially frittering away a vital opportunity to become free. Also, there was a time when we were intensely discussing whether I wanted to become free and what was holding me back and [that I wante to bring about peace on earth] I began to sob for a short period. While sobbing, I noticed Vineeto wipe a tear from her eye… when I asked her about it – she said it was a ‘tear of joy’ because it is such a wonderful thing to hear someone sincerely say they want to bring about peace on earth. We discussed many shortcomings with the way I had been practicing actualism and discussed how my methodology can be improved. Primarily, this has to do with putting ‘feeling good’ in each moment as my primary choice… then applying an affective awareness only (not analytic) each moment again – becoming friends with oneself and aiming for a happy and harmless ‘self’ in the interim until an actual freedom occurs. It is important to not express or suppress emotion (as in not use emotion against myself or others and to always be attentive to what I am experiencing now), as well as see the silliness of feeling bad in any way whatsoever based on my experience of feeling excellent. Don’t investigate or analyze when feeling bad – wait until feeling good has returned, then figure things out. Then, I can more easily nip a bad feeling in the bud whenever it begins to start up again. By nipping the bad feelings, I do not mean to exclude the ‘good,’ ‘morally good,’ or ‘beautiful’ feelings – those have a ‘bad’ component to them as well – so it is important to feel the non-felicitous aspect of both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ feelings and emphasize the felicitous feelings. All of this is done in the interim until an actual freedom occurs. Since the trip, I have noticed that I seem to have an ability to tune into the ambiance of what it was like to live differently to some extent while with Richard and Vineeto. My understanding is that I am now able to tap into pure intent, even though I would not claim to have ever had a full blown and extended PCE. Interestingly, although Richard started out with the statement that it would be ‘pointless’ to come all the way half way across the globe and not become free while in Australia. He also said he was ‘biased’ and that ‘it is ‘my’ life’ so I don’t need to let him influence me too much in that regard. He would often express some surprise that he put some things in such dramatic terms… later stated that Claudiu had taken his experience and describes returning to the US and that the trip had been worth all the time, money, and effort – which Richard seemingly accepted. At first, I had quite a problem with this since it seemed to really put on the pressure for me to become free during my stay in Australia. I later became more adjusted to Richard’s way of expressing himself and realized that, yes – it is my life… I want to become free, yet all of this felt like too much to take in so quickly. I needed time to evaluate, test the waters… gain experience with where I am going. I explained to Richard and Vineeto that I did not experience any energies or anything really from them; rather, an absence. The absence experienced was an absence of malice, along with the presence of complete sincerity. I experienced Richard & Vineeto as 100% present and interested in what I had to say, although I did notice that my sense was that Richard was overall more well spoken than Vineeto, some of which may be attributed to the fact that English is not Vineeto’s native language. Although both made adjustments in speech and sometimes misspoke, Vineeto did so with more frequency – Richard sometimes giving cues that she may not have understood me properly and redirecting her. I also experienced that Vineeto was slightly pushing an agenda of me becoming free of the human condition during my time in Australia, and although Richard wanted the same result – he was glad to pursue virtually any topic that might come up, it was Vineeto that kept bringing us back to me personally becoming free. On the last evening, Vineeto sprained her ankle quite badly after getting into the houseboat. (Later I learned that she had actually broken several bones in her foot.) I asked her while she was in pain, after she had taken a pain killer and iced it down, how she experienced it. She said although the pain can still be intense – there is no suffering associated with it – no additional drama there in addition to the pain. Her ankle very swollen and it was a very bad sprain (actually a ‘broken ankle’) – I can easily see many people bemoaning the fact that they might have to change their whole schedule and what not, but she took it all in stride – I can confirm there was no additional drama… at least from the outside looking in. Vineeto was unable to drive me back to the motel and Richard doesn’t have a license, so I walked back maybe 3-5km to my motel, then I got a cab for transportation to the airport in the morning. Overall, I have never been treated with such wonderful hospitality outside of relatives or people that would be part of a community where my relatives belonged. Richard and Vineeto picked me up every day, brought me back to the motel – were reliable and on time, dropped me off for some tourism in Byron Bay, drove me to Lismore – all free of charge. I paid for a couple of meals to assist as my personal overall contribution, but they never asked anything of me whatsoever. When I made a comment about their hospitality being ‘like family’ – they said that hosting someone wanting peace on earth is ‘better than family.’ Richard showed me over and over again his regard not only for myself & Vineeto, but also for everyone we encountered. He is truly fascinated by the world, animals, and fellow human beings. I noticed that people found it easy to talk to him wherever we went… the notion that Richard has trouble dealing with or going out into the public that ‘S’ has suggested is patently absurd! June 12 2013 Message 14006 Re: Few humble words from Justine RESPONDENT No. 6 (Sock-Puppet ‘MJ’): First impressions can be totally wrong and misleading because it is less about the person but more about what you think of them. It is only when you meet someone for a longer time that you get to know a person, how he acts in different situatiosn , where your pre conclusion are not (mis -) guiding you. CLAUDIU: Sure, I could see that. So, how about Peter & Vineeto? Surely they would have said something by now if Richard had a history of violence. How many years have they known him? Likewise with Tom, Pamela, etc. In the meantime we have [No. 5 (Sock-Puppet ‘H’)], [No. 37 (Sock-Puppet ‘I’)], you, [No. 2], all railing against Richard without ever having met him. Richard is entirely consistent in all his interactions. I remember Vineeto telling me that once, after having already known Richard for some time, she came by to visit Richard and caught him just waking up (or he was sleeping & she woke him up). She said she was impressed by what she saw – that just-woken-up Richard was exactly the same as fully-awake Richard – because most people, having just woken up, haven’t yet put their face/their persona on. There’s a lot of talk, emotion, and feelings surrounding this whole debacle, but there’s simply not much in the way of facts to support any adverse claim against Richard or actual freedom. Addendum: Oh, I forgot to mention – further, Richard told me that nobody, while interacting with him in person, has ever accused him of being malicious, angry, uncaring, etc. People have accused him of those things but only afterwards or over the internet. Having met Richard, I can see why – because he... well, he isn’t, you see. It would be nice to go visit again in July with all the others but I likely won’t be able to due to work. I expect I’d find the very same Richard that I saw back in April 2012. RESPONDENT No. 25: Just to chime in my 2 cents. It is oh so easy to dismiss Richard as a malicious loony based solely on second hand reports, along with trying to navigate one’s way through the tangled web woven by the events of the last few years. I went to Australia the first time to experience interaction with Richard and Vineeto first hand and because I wanted to hear their side of the ‘story.’ I still sometimes get creeping doubts regarding their sincerity and authenticity based upon other’s reports as well as the knowledge that I cannot know with 100% certainty how Richard and Vineeto actually are living, even after meeting them. I can report however that those creeping doubts and stories of Richard and Vineeto being a fake somehow are not able to sustain a foothold simply by thinking back to my personal experience with them. To think that one is in physical danger by seeing them is ludicrous, along with the claims of violence. To think that Richard has trouble interacting with other people or does not live what he talks about is also ludicrous. Finally, both Richard and Vineeto showed me gracious hospitality on par with the best that I have ever experienced, rivaling (if not exceeding) even the hospitality of family members. I am personally confident that there are reasons that I am often not privy to that explain why various people experienced things differently and have a different view, yet the stark contrast between the ‘phantom Richards’ and the flesh and blood version remains. Best, No. 25 Actual Freedom Homepage
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