Please note that Vineeto’s correspondence below was written by the actually free Vineeto
(List D refers to Richard’s List D and his Respondent Numbers) Vineetos Correspondence with Kuba on Discuss Actualism Forum

October 27 2024

KUBA: So it appears that the issue at core is around this old dichotomy of free will vs determinism, this is the lens I have been viewing the situation through.

I can see that ‘I’ as a separative entity can only view life as either having dominion or being under dominion. Being forever separated from actuality ‘I’ can only view ‘myself’ as either some disembodied ‘prime mover’ or merely an object being deterministically acted upon.

‘My’ conceptions of what agency or autonomy are all about are wrapped up within these constructs. I can see that both ‘me’ as a psychic entity and ‘I’ as a psychological entity arrogate ‘myself’ over life as it actually happens. This has been made even clearer through the recent articles

.(Actualism, Actualvineeto, From Basic Freedom to Full Actual Freedom)

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

You said it well, it is always the real-world affective/social-identity perception of two opposites and the third alternative only hooves into view when you reject them both and turn to the memory of your PCE/pure intent as your guide. This has been so with many problems you have already solved this way and will be so with any further problems you devise in order to postpone the last step. You already know that and how you can resolve any problem you come up with, it’s a successful pattern.

As I said to you before on September 30 –

> Vineeto: “This last step is something entirely new in your life and is necessarily a jump from the known into the unknown (which you had glimpses of). But you cannot reason it out in advance – you cannot rely on your trusted sensible pattern of action.

> That’s why Richard emphasizes that actualism is not scientific, it is experiential.

> To succeed, you will have to dare to care, to care so deeply that you dare to do something, to allow something to happen, that has never happened to you before. This aspect of it is an immense daring and hence it needs a deep and abiding caring – and then, in the blink of an eye, you are here, here where you belong.” [emphasis added]. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Kuba, 30 September 2024).

There comes a time when you, with the supreme confidence born of the memory of your PCE, take the last leap into the unknown, i.e. the inconceivable, which the ‘self’ can never conceive of.

And to drive the point home what lies ahead –

> RESPONDENT: What kind of peace?

> RICHARD: It is not only both a personal peace (as in calmness, tranquillity, serenity, and so on) and an interpersonal peace (as in harmony, amity, cordiality, and so forth) but the ultimate peace of having attained to one’s destiny (as in fulfilment, satisfaction, contentment, and so on) whereupon the meaning of life lies open all about ... complete with an utter security or an absolute safety the likes of which is inconceivable/ incomprehensible and unimaginable/ unbelievable to any identity whatsoever.

> There is a vast stillness here in this actual world. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 115, 11 May 2006)

KUBA: All this talk about progressing into full actual freedom is making it seem to me like I am still stuck playing a kids game. Especially the below seems to have kicked me back into gear.

> Vineeto: Richard being the first only had his own experience to go by when he started writing about an actual freedom, until others became vitally interested, and then some succeeded in becoming free and one in becoming fully free. These events all added enormous information to the data pool but also may give the impression, and the expectation, that everyone can succeed as easily as Richard and Vineeto. Hence all the complaints that the method doesn’t work and isn’t as easy as depicted, and so on. This is cutting edge of human evolution in consciousness, something never seen or experienced before !!! And it needs true pioneers. [emphasis added]. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, From Basic Freedom to Full Actual Freedom2)

VINEETO: This is music to my ears.

Not that Richard or even Vineeto had it all that easy – Richard was trapped in institutionalized insanity (spiritual enlightenment) for 11 years (Richard, Articles, A Brief Personal History) and then had 30 months of a “macabre and gruesome transition phase” in which he was “determining the validity of uncharted territory” (Richard, Selected Correspondence, Severe Mental Agitation), and Vineeto practised the actualism method for 11 or so years until she could finally take advantage of the newly opened “direct route” and become newly free -- without any smidgen of Richard’s difficult transition phase for having been the first pioneer. Hence it is now demonstrably easier for other pioneers to continue the exploration into the evolution of human consciousness of enabling peace-on-earth whilst nevertheless being at the historically significant stage of true pioneers.

What a grand time to be alive.

Cheers Vineeto

October 27 2024

KUBA: Whilst all that chipping away can be done in the meantime, this has absolutely nothing to do with it. This is clear now from the recent discussions. I would like a situation where I can chip away until the last issue resolves and then boom - actual freedom, but it is not at all like that.

As you and Richard mentioned to Geoffrey in the Australia Q&As - there is no link at all between the application of the method, between chipping away at the social identity and self immolation. It is a separate event altogether and cannot be ‘trained for’ in that sense.

It’s like I thought that all this “in the meantime” business would be training me for the last event, to make it easier. But it seems the option to self immolate has been here all along, it could have been taken at any point, it did not require any training and it will not be made easier by any training.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

Yes and no. There is no link and, as you worked out before, there is no requirement from the actual world to enter. But most people feel more confident when they are experientially well acquainted with the subject matter.

KUBA: Although I can pinpoint a couple of events which required that I allow something to happen which I cannot plan in advance. The first one was having the first PCE after starting the method, it seemed like I was chasing the impossible, but after 6 months or so it happened, I couldn’t believe it but it happened!

The second was stepping out from control, this had that same flavour of proceeding somewhere where I haven’t visited before and therefore I couldn’t work it out in advance, and yet all this energy was needed to proceed.

So I am clearly capable of it, it is more that all the various tools and techniques I was taught throughout my life cannot prepare me for this event. James has/had his habit of reducing things to a single sentence and I have my habit of wanting to have the territory meticulously charted out before any motion forward.

Whereas what is needed is to be a pioneer, even though it has been done before I am a pioneer by virtue of proceeding into the unknown.

VINEETO: Well, everything you have done “in the meantime” has gained you confidence and experience so that you are now sufficiently equipped to dare to do the third step into the unknown – first a PCE, second going out-from-control and the third will be leaving your ‘self’ behind.

You do have pioneer qualities after all. The question now is, how to pinpoint the best moment to activate them.

KUBA: There is 1 aspect I find very freeing in the prospect of being a pioneer though, which is that there is no need to get bogged down in the ‘how to’, no need for processes and rules and regulations. No need to wait at all.

VINEETO: With no “processes and rules and regulations” you are free to choose the right moment for ‘you’, the identity, to be in full agreement to lay down ‘your’ burden and go into the secretly yearned-for oblivion.

‘Vineeto’ had several reasons for ‘her’, the identity, which drew her forward – there was a growing uneasiness of knowing ‘she’ was a fake, an impostor. Then there was an every-increasing awareness of a deep desire for oblivion, and an acute awareness of evil, felt as psychic vibes and currents, in others and by extension in herself. And lastly there was a caring, grown out of a deeply felt, at times, painful awareness of all the mayhem and misery which humans do to humans – and ‘she’ wanted to be instrumental to help bringing it to an end. I wrote to you about it on 24 September.

You’ll gather your own motivations for making the supreme sacrifice of what ‘you’ hold most dear, more dear than “wanting to have the territory meticulously charted out”, and find the right moment to allow it to happen and go blessedly into oblivion.

Ah, what an adventure!

Cheers Vineeto

October 30 2024

Hi Kuba, Hi Claudiu,

Regarding our recent discussion about agency and, here I found a quote from Richard, which answers Kuba’s “issue at core […] around this old dichotomy of free will vs determinism” really clear without using the word ‘agency’ –

> Respondent: Richard, I have been considering what people mean by ‘free-will’ or ‘freedom of choice’, etc.

> Richard: You may find the following to be of interest:

> > • [Co-Respondent]: ‘You think you have free will?

> > • [Richard]: ‘No.

> > • [Co-Respondent]: ‘What determines your actions?

> > • [Richard]: ‘The situation and the circumstances in the world of people, things and events’. (Richard, List C, No. 2a, 13 March 2000a).

> And:

> > • [Richard]: ‘The ego – or even the soul as pure spirit – is not to be confused with will. The bodily needs are what motivates will – and will is nothing more grand than the nerve-organising data-correlating ability of the body – and it is will that is essential in order to operate and function … not an identity. Will is an organising process, an activity of the brain that correlates all the information and data that streams through the bodily senses. Will is not a ‘thing’, a subjectively substantial passionate ‘object’, like the identity is. Will, freed of the encumbrance of the ego and soul – which are born out of instinctual fear and aggression and nurture and desire – can operate smoothly, with actual sagacity. The operation of this freed will, is called intelligence. This intelligence is the body’s native intelligence … and has naught to do with any disembodied ‘Intelligence behind the Universe’ It is a joy to be me going about my business with freed-will in this wonderful physical world’. (page 76, Article 10; ‘Richard’s Journal’; Second Edition ©2004, The Actual Freedom Trust).

> (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27h, 24 October 2005)

Comes a bit of a shock, doesn’t it, that in actuality there is neither “determinism” nor “free will” but instead “this freed will, called intelligence.”

Cheers Vineeto

October 30 2024

KUBA: So I have been having fun investigating self esteem / self worth. I can see this aspect of the human condition is what underpins most of the themes which remain. The archetype which I can narrow the thing down to is one of the ‘messiah’. […]

This desperate need to belong however is a beast that needs to be fed over and over, it never rests. Which means ‘I’ lock ‘myself’ in the never ending pursuit for the next ‘golden nugget’. This archetype of the ‘messiah’ is a tricky one to see for what it is, because this desperate need for a feeling of validation is masked by ‘doing good for others’ or ‘seeking excellence to uplift others’.

It’s like ‘I’ want to be Jesus, bringing light to those below ‘me’ and in doing so solidify ‘my’ place in the group forever, ‘I’ will then be forever needed.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

That is a pretty hungry “beast“ indeed the way you play it out.

What ‘Vineeto’ discovered the further ‘she’ inquired into her ‘self’ is that this entity which dictated ‘her’ life is deep down very fragile, very insecure and the reason is that ‘she’ knew that this entity is fake, a mountebank, a fraud, a confidence trickster – and therefore not only in need to constantly justify ‘my’ existence but also to have others confirm ‘my’ existence (hence the need to belong).

You may have observed when you believe something (but are not quite sure), you need allies, whereas when you know something for a fact, you don’t need anyone to confirm that to you, you just know.

The more ‘Vineeto’ became enthusiastic to the point of being obsessed with actual freedom, the more ‘she’ became autonomous and confident, because ‘she’ didn’t waste energy to constantly hide ‘her’ fraudulent existence but instead was actively endeavouring to expose it of ‘her’ own accord. The focus changed.

There was still a desire to ‘change the world’, to help the plight of humanity, but ‘she’ had now a clearer vision – become actually free and by this very act do something beneficial for everyone who wants to also be free from the burden of being run by the instinctual passions. In fact, ‘she’ dedicated ‘her’ life to it.

KUBA: The thing which I always wanted deep down was to be free to be me as I am, to be genuine, to be original and to be authentic. In short to exist completely outside of this structure of the ‘group’, of belonging, of identity etc. […] So ‘I’ have been keen to find that something ultimately precious which ‘I’ will be willing to give up ‘myself’ for. This seems to be in the right direction, the freedom to be me as I am for one and all.

VINEETO: It looks to me that the only thing you need to realize, and then actualize, is to get your priorities right and everything will fall into place.

You can “be original and […] authentic“ and still be “‘doing good for others’“ and “‘seeking excellence to uplift others’“ – in fact much, much more efficiently – by genuinely caring, not for your own validation but for everyone’s actual benefit. Caring so much that you dare to show the way, not only to set everyone free from your own insalubrious identity (every identity is insalubrious) but also lead by example how easy it is to walk out of the human condition and to leave ‘yourself’ behind. And when you are without ‘self’ no one is below you and no one is above you either.

Now wouldn’t that be a genuine and thoroughly beneficent archetype, hey?

Cheers Vineeto

October 31 2024

VINEETO: It looks to me that the only thing you need to realize, and then actualize, is to get your priorities right and everything will fall into place.

KUBA: Ah yes but it’s easier to scapegoat ‘my’ lack of priorities onto that ‘messiah’ identity and then fight ‘him’ instead . That way ‘I’ can continue being a fraud and of course the accountability is shifted just ‘over there’.

What you wrote rings very true, I am not sure how these priorities will shift just yet but I can see that unless they do I am stuck rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic”.

VINEETO: Just to inserts some facts to your latest presented problem, I looked up archetype of the ‘messiah” and here are a few descriptions –

- What is the Messiah complex disorder? – a mental state in which a person believes they are a messiah or prophet and will save or redeem people in a religious endeavour. The term can also refer to a state of mind in which an individual believes that they are responsible for saving others.

- What are the roles of the Messiah? – to unite people all over the world regardless of race, culture or religion.

- What trauma causes the savior complex? – They may be children who have experienced various traumas, abandonment.

- What is messianic Behaviour? – the desire and compulsion to redeem or save others or the world

- What is an example of a messianic archetype? – Messianic Archetype include All-Loving Hero, the Dark Messiah (the extreme Anti-Hero version), The Antichrist, the False Prophet (the lying scammer version), and the Anti-Anti-Christ. (source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MessianicArchetype) {sic! Media-Tropes from comic books & films}

Can you sincerely say that any of the above answers applies to you? Are you perhaps getting a bit desperate to invent a problem for the pleasure of solving it? When I saw you write about the ‘Messianic Archetype’ I thought there were some learned Neo-Jungian psychologists expanding the field, but it’s not even seriously discussed in academia yet and still you try it on like a party costume. Perhaps gullibility is a more worthwhile topic of observation. Btw, did you know that the word ‘gullible’ is not in the dictionary?

Recently you said – All this talk about progressing into full actual freedom is making it seem to me like I am still stuck playing a kids game.” Will you be able to let priorities shift now perhaps?

KUBA: Perhaps seeing ‘oneself’ to be equally fraudulent is a little more difficult as it would entail immediate action, of ending ‘oneself’. That slight dissociation of ‘me’ vs ‘humanity’ can keep ‘me’ alive (as I have demonstrated in my above posts). Keeping ‘humanity’ as just slightly separate to ‘me’ allows ‘me’ to continue blaming ‘humanity’ whilst remaining a fraud ‘myself’. ‘I’ can then investigate ‘humanity’ as if it’s something different to ‘me’ and that in itself shows how fraudulent ‘I’ am!

VINEETO: Well spotted.

*

SHASHANK: I was thinking if there is a core fraud at the level of the instinctual being itself.

KUBA: Yes I suspect it is fraudulence all the way through haha, in that ‘I’ don’t actually exist in the first place. But how useful this is for an entity who needs to allow their own extinction I am not sure.

VINEETO: The reason why I drew attention to this fact of fraudulence recently is because this was a major factor for ‘Vineeto’ to agree, on a deep instinctual/feeling level, to ‘her’ increasingly inevitable demise.

The motivation for ‘self’-immolation needs to encompass all of ‘you’ at a deep level of ‘being’ for allowing it to happen, and when ‘I’ recognize and acknowledge that deep down ‘I’ experience ‘my’ job of ‘self’-preservation as a constant burden, and with no genuinely advantageous point to boot for continuing to carry that burden, then you, who wants to be free to be what you are have won a major ally.

Cheers Vineeto

November 1 2024

KUBA: Thank you Vineeto, I sincerely appreciate your reply and I have been giggling to myself in slight embarrassment this morning. Of course it is not that you embarrassed me but it is the facts that did, seeing what I have been doing did it haha.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

It’s a delight to read about your reaction of amusement at your own tricks. There is so much which is amusing about the human condition when seen from a wider angle.

Rather than feeling embarrassed you can pat yourself on the back for having discarded this latest ‘problem’ so quickly. The feeling of embarrassment, when stripped of its socially inherent judgement of wrong or bad, can easily segue into feeling naïve (unsophisticated, ingenuous), which is where you can like yourself and others and don’t mind at all seen to be a fool in the eyes of others. “To be naïveté itself (i.e., naïveté embodied as ‘me’), which is to be the closest one can to innocence whilst remaining a ‘self’”. (A Rather Quaint Clay-Pit Tale). Make sure you access the tool-tips as well.

*

VINEETO: Are you perhaps getting a bit desperate to invent a problem for the pleasure of solving it?

KUBA: Yes this is a good way to put it and in itself this shows where my priorities have been. To be content busying myself with “finding problems for the pleasure of solving them” whilst ‘I’ remain rotten.

I see what I have been doing now, there was this slight distance/ dissociation between ‘me’ and ‘the problem’. ‘I’ can remain in existence by finding the next problem, always just slightly distanced from ‘me’, the more fancy the problem the longer ‘I’ can look for a solution and kid ‘myself’ that something productive is being done.

VINEETO: Ha, the identity is very apt in finding problems – it’s the very raison d’être at this point of keeping ‘you’ in existence. What you can do, remembering your priorities, is to diminish the power of believing until you eventually lose the ability to believe altogether.

*

KUBA: Whereas the below would be actually doing something :

VINEETO: You can “be original and […] authentic” and still be “‘doing good for others’” and “‘seeking excellence to uplift others’” – in fact much, much more efficiently – by genuinely caring, not for your own validation but for everyone’s actual benefit. Caring so much that you dare to show the way, not only to set everyone free from your own insalubrious identity (every identity is insalubrious) but also lead by example how easy it is to walk out of the human condition and to leave ‘yourself’ behind. And when you are without ‘self’ no one is below you and no one is above you either.

Now wouldn’t that be a genuine and thoroughly beneficent archetype, hey?

KUBA: The funny (but perverse) thing is that I have been doing the opposite! I have been trying to prove how damn difficult it is, thus not only blocking myself but others into the bargain. Indeed those priorities are all over the place.

VINEETO: Yep, the easier becoming free looks when you come to your senses the more ‘you’ have to work hard to prove the opposite. Though it’s easy to correct course at any time you notice.

KUBA: I remember a correspondence on the AFT (which I cannot find now) where the correspondent mentions that Richard appears to be truly an exceptional person. Richard responds by saying that if the correspondent is being sincere in his observation then good, because they must dare to be an exceptional person themselves.

Time to raise the bar!

VINEETO: I couldn’t find that quote either with the word “exceptional” but I found this, which might be what you had in mind –

> RESPONDENT: You sound like a remarkable man and I would like to ask a question. […]

> RICHARD: Where you say ‘you sound like a remarkable man’ , if you mean it sincerely I would like to congratulate you for your perspicacity, because I must emphasise that it is vital that you aspire to being a remarkable person yourself ... or else you will not succeed in ridding yourself of your sense of identity. This is very important, because people can put themselves down only too easily as being not good enough, not intelligent enough or not capable enough. I am not gifted or special ... I was born of ordinary parents, was sent to an ordinary state school – receiving an average education until I was fifteen years of age – took an ordinary job and worked for a living. I eventually got married and had four children and bought a house and ... in short, I was relatively normal and did all the expected things. Thus did I live my life for thirty two years according to the ‘tried and true’ methods as laid down by the countless millions of other humans that had lived before me. I tried my best to make their system work to produce the optimum result ... but to no avail. Only then did I make the first and most important movement of my own volition ... I discarded the ‘tried and true’ as being the ‘tried and failed’. (I did say ‘I was relatively normal’ because one thing, and one thing alone, stood out that distinguished me from whomsoever else I met: I wanted to know – as an actuality – just what it was to be a human being here on this planet, as this body, in this life-time.) [emphasis added]. (Richard, List A, No. 26)

Enjoy.

Cheers Vineeto

November 1 2024

KUBA: Wow and it is so incomparable, this flavour that is ultimately precious, that pure intent shows, that can be tasted in enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive, which is the flavour of the final destination. Indeed nothing but nothing is worth getting in the way of this, but this understanding cannot be thought out, it can only be lived now. How incredible that what can be tasted now can undo whatever importance ‘I’ concocted in ‘my’ entire lifetime.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

It is indeed “incomparable“, and this “flavour“ “that can be tasted“ is not of the senses, it is an apperceptive experience – it is not of this [‘real’] world.

This “flavour” is the sweetness, the tenderness, the utter appreciation of pure intent, the very pure intent which is “an actually occurring stream of benevolence and benignity that originates in the vast and utter stillness that is the essential character of the universe itself“. (Richard, Abditorium, Pure Intent). It is irresistible whenever you experience it. It is simply beyond compare.

KUBA: It’s weird, to experience this ultimate preciousness and how it is available now, it is so profound for ‘me’ that ‘I’ cannot help but feel some kind of sorrow, with tears coming up. I remember this would happen over and over before I had my first PCE, that sorrow would block ‘me’ from going into abeyance just as ‘I’ was on the verge of it happening. Eventually ‘I’ got done with this pattern and the PCE happened. It’s like ‘I’ finally decided / developed the confidence to allow only perfection, whereas this sorrow (which could easily flip into beauty) although seeming very meaningful, it was like ‘my’ last line of defence.

VINEETO: I suspect that what you call sorrow here might well have been the same “flavour“ you described above and it was so overwhelming that it brought tears (of appreciation) to your eyes. Because it was new and unknown then ‘you’ interpreted it as sorrow.

It’s only a guess because it has been my experience, especially for a period after Richard’s death, that pure intent flowed so over-abundantly that I was often overwhelmed to tears, which on closer inspection turned out to be tears of an overwhelming appreciation and also an unprecedented experience of intimacy with the people I came in contact with.

It’s just mirificent to see what it happening at present.

Cheers Vineeto

November 2 2024

KUBA: This is what I have been doing and this is what has been happening. It is an interesting territory, as Geoffrey mentioned in a zoom chat, ‘balls of steel’ are needed to proceed at this point.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

Your whole message is music to my ears, ad expressed you eloquently too!

I was wondering what the female equivalent is to “balls of steel”?

KUBA: There is certainly a building courage, to own and to ‘be’ those feelings, those utterly rotten feelings which are ‘me’. But furthermore to see that there is no redemption for ‘me’, that ‘I’ am doomed, in the sense that ‘I’ will never be fixed, and to proceed exactly in that direction.

VINEETO: I think the most trenchant insight in the whole message is “‘I’ will never be fixed” – you are certainly hurtling towards your destiny knowing this.

KUBA: Yet each time this courage is rewarded… Initially it seems that ‘being’ those forever rotten feelings would lead to inescapable despair, this is like looking in the 1 direction which ‘I’ have refused to look ‘my’ whole life. The energy of those rotten feelings is so powerful, scary to touch. And yet it is that very energy which can turn into the desire for oblivion and a movement towards ‘my’ destiny.

If ‘I’ dare to look in that one (seemingly) inescapable direction, ‘I’ can see that there is a way out, there is an escape hatch, which is the ending of ‘me’. What a fascinating place and indeed what an adventure, I am reminded of Richard writing that as weird as it may seem at first, the thing which ‘I’ am afraid of the most is what ‘I’ desire the most.
So indeed courage is needed to meet ‘my’ destiny, ‘I’ am rotten to the very core and yet ‘I’ am courageous enough to proceed. The reward each time ‘I’ inch closer is that experience of release and of the sweetness and tenderness which exists at the final destination.

Proceeding in this way yesterday I realised that there is ‘no-one’ at all preventing ‘me’ from allowing self immolation. In the same way that another identity cannot do it for ‘me’, they are not blocking ‘me’ either, so any well fabricated excuse is just that, ‘I’ have simply believed all of ‘my’ life that ‘I’ was trapped by ‘them’.
So it is entirely in ‘my’ hands now… I can see that it is possible and I no longer believe it to be some complicated task, requiring a sophisticated approach.

What is required now is something like total sincerity, the slightest dissociation and ‘I’ will remain in some aspect and therefore ‘I’ will remain in ‘my’ totality. So this is indeed committing with the entirety of ‘my’ being. Proceeding in this way is like surfing on the very edge of where dread and despair continually turn into thrill as ‘I’ proceed to what ‘I’ am afraid of the most / what ‘I’ desire the most.

VINEETO: Just brilliant.

Cheers Vineeto

November 8 2024

KUBA: This morning I became fascinated by the fact that ‘I’ cannot possibly be in charge of life. This self imposed burden is actually in contradiction with the facts. I remembered Richard writing in his journal of the gardening work he did whilst being lived by pure intent, how that which required attention could not be ignored, how the next part would present itself naturally, no need for any ‘grand plan’.

It is funny because one of the greatest objections ‘I’ had towards the universe was that no matter how hard ‘I’ tried to be in charge, to make things happen according to the ‘grand plan’, it was to no use. How much anxiety and stress ‘I’ lived trying to force ‘myself’ onto the universe and failing each time.

What ‘I’ didn’t see was that ‘my’ greatest objection is also the direction towards ‘my’ release. The facts of life as it actually happens make it impossible for ‘me’ to ever be in charge. And what a wonderful thing that is! Because it means that whatever burden ‘I’ impose upon ‘myself’ is not required, it was never required. And even if ‘I’ wanted to play that game (which ‘I’ did) ‘I’ could only pretend. Experiencing this utter freedom, of life already always living itself I once again had tears of appreciation running, seeing that this is here for everybody.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

This is music to my ears.

It is fascinating to see how you and Claudiu come to very similar conclusions simultaneously. It is indeed “impossible for ‘me’ to ever be in charge” – which had been the very insight which allowed you to start on this line of inquiry and decide to get out from under control. And once I see that ‘I’ cannot possibly be in charge there is barely any justification left for ‘me’ to stay in existence – being in charge and carrying the burden of that responsibility is ‘my’ very raison d’être. As you rightly conclude, “you are here to enjoy and appreciate only”.

KUBA: I saw it as if the universe, in giving birth to this body has handed out an invitation to paradise. The invitation reads “everything is already in place, you are here to enjoy and appreciate only”.

VINEETO: a wonderful new and naïve way of phrasing it – life is “an invitation to paradise”. I like it. It is indeed your birthright and your destiny both.

KUBA: It is a funny one though because I notice that the very language of ‘humanity’, the whole thrust of it all is a battle of ‘self’ against the universe, ‘I’/‘we’ have been straining for eons to battle against these facts of life. Sometimes I struggle to talk with others when every word is laden with these meanings e.g. “where do you see yourself in 5 years”, “who are you”, “what are your plans for the future”, “what do you believe in” etc. It might as well be a foreign language at times lol.

VINEETO: Yes, human language is entirely created and developed by feeling beings with a past, present and future as a straight line to go from A to B to C until death. It makes you aware of the aeons of human socialisation which you are about to leave behind. Therefore Richard put so much care and consideration to find accurate, non-affective words and definitions for his experiential reports in ‘Terra Actualis’ and for feeling-beings to nevertheless understand what he is explaining to them. (Richard, Abditorium, Index). Re-reading posts from earlier mailing lists I am constantly amazed how meticulously, and repeatedly, he explains the difference of real-world perception/affective interpretation and the descriptions of his own ongoing experience in the actual-world.

KUBA: So it has been a complete turn around for me since the days of the rift thread, of being in favour of ‘new school actualism’. I can see how very important it is for individuals to go completely beyond any shred of that illusion. To maintain ‘humanity’ in any degree is to perpetuate that fever dream in one’s fellow human beings. There are only facts and then there is illusion/delusion, why perpetuate the latter?
I realise there is only 1 person currently alive that exists as a genuinely safe target for others to aim for, 1 person able to speak securely to others completely outside of any illusion, with no shred of it left, and thus unable to perpetuate it in others.

VINEETO: I much appreciate your deep understanding of this fact that “to maintain ‘humanity’ in any degree is to perpetuate that fever dream in one’s fellow human beings”. It is vital for perfection and purity to be accessible for everybody. Yes, presently there is only one person fully free but I am informed that others are well on their way. Moreover –

> Richard: The words and writings of both an actual and a virtual freedom from the human condition – be they spoken, printed or in pixels are now stored away in brain cells, on bookshelves and hard drives/ tapes/ CD’s/ DVD’s all around the globe. (Richard, Actualism, Materialism, Spiritualism).

KUBA: I have so much appreciation for you @Vineeto, that this is what you are, it activates the desire in me to do what I can towards enabling peace on earth and a life in full meaning for all. What a ridiculously high standard and yet this is what I always wanted. Now this is something that I can do.

VINEETO: I deeply appreciate your appreciation. It is a pleasure and delight to write on this forum with so many engaged actualists, quite a few on the cusp of slipping into the actual world at any moment.

I also deeply appreciate and welcome your “ridiculously high standard” – this evolution in human consciousness requires pioneers who aim for the best, if not ‘bester’, and we are not alone in this enterprise.

> Richard: ‘I’ am not alone in this endeavour because ‘I’ can tap into the purity and perfection of the infinitude of this physical universe with a pure intent … (Richard, Articles, This Moment of Being Alive, #Peak experience)

Cheers and best regards Vineeto

PS: If I remember correctly the last concern regarding the ending of ‘you’ was that it is unknown and as such an unknown step. If you look at that again, this is not quite accurate – you know the actual world experientially from your PCEs and you may well remember that during a PCE you knew that you have always been here. This was/is the same experience for me when I became actually free – I have always been here, at the time the whole of my 47 years.

November 8 2024

VINEETO: PS: If I remember correctly the last concern regarding the ending of ‘you’ was that it is unknown and as such an unknown step. If you look at that again, this is not quite accurate – you know the actual world experientially from your PCEs and you may well remember that during a PCE you knew that you have always been here. This was/is the same experience for me when I became actually free – I have always been here, at the time the whole of my 47 years.

KUBA: This is also a weird one because on one hand I remember very clearly that during a PCE I see that I have always been here, that ‘I’ only imagined that ‘I’ existed and that what I have been all along, underneath all the illusion is this very body.

And yet the ‘I’ that has to self-immolate could use this as a way of bailing out from total extinction? That ‘I’ could try to take ‘myself’ into actuality. It’s funny really ‘I’ have to truly die and yet once ‘I’ die I can see that I was this body all along, and even before ‘my’ total extinction ‘I’ can see/ remember this.

Am ‘I’ able to give ‘myself’ up even though ‘I’ know that on the other side there is such security, it seems like it would not be a true sacrifice? Perhaps I still believe that it must be a drama, that it must be somehow ultimately costly.

I remember years ago my brother saying that the way you judge a ‘good person’ is how much they are willing to suffer to benefit others, it’s like I am smuggling this into my contemplations around self immolation.

But seeing it from this new angle there is no drawback at all, that would mean it is extremely easy.

It’s like if I have been driving this low spec, broken down car my whole life, and now there is the offer to trade it in for a brand new, high spec one with no extra cash to be paid.

I have to sacrifice the old car and yet what I am giving it up for is better in every way, there is really no drawback.

VINEETO:

> [Richard]: The act of initiating this ‘process’ is altruism, pure and simple. (Richard, The Actual Freedom List, No. 60, 3 Dec 2003).

Also you may want to check out what I wrote to JesusCarlos recently.

Cheers Vineeto

November 9 2024

VINEETO: Yes, human language is entirely created and developed by feeling beings with a past, present and future as a straight line to go from A to B to C until death.

KUBA: Yes this is exactly what I was trying to get at, I find it takes a bit of adjusting to be able to interact with others when at times it is as if we are speaking a different language. I wonder if this is a skill that one polishes as an actually free person, accounting for identities when speaking with identity encumbered bodies?
This “paying lip service” is more difficult whilst in virtual freedom as ‘I’ am still in some ways stirred by this ‘real world language’, it is like ‘I’ am in-between reality and actuality and can kind of speak both languages, but neither is fluent

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

You wonder if “speaking a different language” is a skill one polishes as an actually free person. In a way yes. When I read Richard’s correspondence I can see how by accurately conveying how he is experiencing himself he is honing his skills to report and describe as clearly as possible to his correspondents how he is experiencing himself as what he actually is. As it is a direct ongoing experience and unmediated by self-image, ethical or moral constraints, imagination and many other ‘self’-inflicted distortions, the description arises from the very experience itself. What can be, and is polished, is a larger variety of word choices, sentence structures, qualifiers to pre-empt misunderstanding and so on.

In normal life conversations (not on a specifically topical mailing list) I find there is a fair amount of ‘lip-service’ but I still stick to facts as much as possible when someone asks me for instance how I am today. In longer meetings I often am happy to take the part of listener and let the prevailing intimate atmosphere do the rest. It is often astounding how intimate some shorter or longer conversations can become when the other person is perceptive of/sensitive to the vibe-free and friendly milieu.

Only yesterday morning when visiting the workshop of the person fixing my air conditioner, we ended up having a conversation for about an hour where I had asked them about their medical troubles, which they had mentioned in passing the day before. They regaled me with their medical and practical odyssey which I found very interesting and informative and we both enjoyed each other’s company because of the intimacy which ensued from the absence of psychic vibes (on my part), the undivided attention and mutual interest.

I don’t think you need to be much concerned, Kuba, as it will be sincerity and naiveté which determine what you say, and only if you would want to present an image of what you are not, you could get tangled up in ‘language problems’.

Cheers Vineeto

November 9 2024

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

The reason I answered in my last response as I did was because of what you wrote regarding “that ‘I’ could try to take ‘myself’ into actuality.”

KUBA: And yet the ‘I’ that has to self-immolate could use this as a way of bailing out from total extinction? That ‘I’ could try to take ‘myself’ into actuality. It’s funny really ‘I’ have to truly die and yet once ‘I’ die I can see that I was this body all along, and even before ‘my’ total extinction ‘I’ can see/remember this.

Am ‘I’ able to give ‘myself’ up even though ‘I’ know that on the other side there is such security, it seems like it would not be a true sacrifice? Perhaps I still believe that it must be a drama, that it must be somehow ultimately costly.

I remember years ago my brother saying that the way you judge a ‘good person’ is how much they are willing to suffer to benefit others, it’s like I am smuggling this into my contemplations around self immolation.

But seeing it from this new angle there is no drawback at all, that would mean it is extremely easy.

VINEETO: When you start with “that ‘I’ could try to take ‘myself’ into actuality” it seems insurmountable because the instinct for self-preservation it too strong. You may have the best rational reasons and the best intentions but that is not enough. That’s where pure intent needs to guide you to consider something outside of ‘yourself’ in order to initiate the process for self-immolation. Viz.:

> Richard: “There is an intrinsic trait common to all sentient beings: self-sacrifice. It manifests in humans in the way that ‘I’ will passionately defend ‘myself’ and ‘my group’ to the death if it is deemed necessary. All of ‘my’ instincts – the instinctive drive for biological survival – come to the fore when psychologically and psychically threatened, for ‘I’ am confused about ‘my’ presence, confounding ‘my’ survival and the body’s survival. Nevertheless, ‘my’ survival being paramount could not be further from the truth, for ‘I’ need play no part any more in perpetuating physical existence (which is the primal purpose of the instinctual animal ‘self’). ‘I’ am no longer necessary at all. In fact, ‘I’ am nowadays a hindrance. With all of ‘my’ beliefs, values, creeds, ethics and other doctrinaire disabilities, ‘I’ am a menace to the body. ‘I’ am ready to die (to allow the body to be killed) for a cause and ‘I’ will willingly sacrifice physical existence for a ‘Noble Ideal’ ... and reap ‘my’ post-mortem reward: immortality.

> This is called altruism ... albeit misplaced.”

> “The word altruism can be used in two distinctly different ways – in a virtuous sense (as in being an unselfish and/or selfless ‘self’) or in a zoological and/or biological sense (as in being diametrically opposite to selfism) – and it is the latter which is of particular interest to a person wanting to enable the already always existing peace-on-earth, in this lifetime as this flesh and blood body, as it takes a powerful instinctive impulse (altruism) to overcome a powerful instinctive impulse (selfism) – blind nature endows each and every human being with the selfish instinct for individual survival and the clannish instinct for group survival (be it the familial group, the tribal group, or the national group). By and large the instinct for survival of the group is the more powerful – as is epitomised in the honey-bee (when it stings to protect and/or defend the hive it dies) – and it is the utilisation of this once-in-a-lifetime gregarian action which is referred to in my oft-repeated ‘an altruistic ‘self’-sacrifice and/or ‘self’-immolation, in toto, for the benefit of this body and that body and every body.” (Richard, Abditorium, Altruism)

In other words, ‘you’ dare to care, ‘you’ care so much that ‘you’ are willing to give up willingly and irremunerably what ‘you’ consider ‘your’ most precious by making the most noble sacrifice that ‘you’ can make.

As you can see this has nothing at all to do with your brother’s belief that to be a ‘good person’ one has to be “willing to suffer to benefit others” – that would be the real-world virtue of unselfishness.

There is no suffering involved in self-immolation, it is the most wonderful experience when it happens, and by doing so you relieve yourself (your actual body) and your fellow humans from the burden of ‘your’ own ‘rottenness’, i.e., the burden of ‘your’ demands, dominance or subordination, jealousy, all psychic vibes and any potential future malice and sorrow.

Cheers Vineeto

November 27 2024

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

KUBA: I think part of the problem with the worldview that Bub is suggesting is that it is based on the old master/ disciple structure. Which is readily demonstrated by his insistence on delineating and segregating the ‘founders of the method’ from its ‘followers’ as if we are not all fellow human beings. [...]

Let’s remember that when Richard devised the method the success rate was indeed 0% and yet he was a fellow human being that proceeded anyways.

KUBA: This complaining of no success is almost as if people think that Richard or Vineeto are trying to sell us the method. Like we have handed over our money (loyalty) and now we are expecting a good product in return.

And this could not be further from the facts.

VINEETO: This is excellent! Thank you for the great insight, I hadn’t thought of it that way.

I found a short exchange between Richard and Jonathan from years back where what has just happened here with Bub is playing out the same way -

> JONATHAN: It is obvious to more than one or two or even three what you are pulling here. All words no substance. You can’t live it and neither can anyone else. It is scary that someone can completely loose the capacity to admit error. Good day Sir.

> RICHARD: And thus – by granting yourself that oh-so-convenient way out (‘and neither can anyone else’) – does all the anguish and animosity which epitomises the human condition go on unabated.

> Ah well … c’est la vie, I guess. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Jonathan-a, 3 Jun 2006)

Cheers Vineeto

November 28 2024

VINEETO to Roy: Let me know if you would like some clarification on anything written on the AFT website, I am probably the only person, who has read everything Richard has ever written. [emphasis added by Kuba] (Vineeto, ActualVineeto, Roy, 28 November 2024)

KUBA: Wow doesn’t that put the caring and consideration into perspective! I think most of us here can appreciate what an enormous amount of information that is to go over.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

I appreciate you saying this. You probably have a point but I didn’t or don’t experience it that way, lol.

The first time ‘I’ read his words online when they came into my mailbox and ‘I’ was always vitally interested what he would say next. Then ‘I’ read them again when ‘I’ posted them on the website (after a while Richard had ceded that job to ‘me’ as he was too busy writing). When Richard went to India for 6 months I went through a lot of his writing again (creating tooltips instead of the multiple footnotes) because I was somewhat puzzles after becoming actually free while some essential qualities he had reported/ described were missing (not being fully free yet).

And nowadays, after Richard’s death, it’s my favourite past-time to read the website again, finding suitable quotes or just gems and enjoying the brilliance and to-the-point replies he gave to his respondents. Of course, caring is part of the enjoyment, it comes with the territory (of Terra Actualis).

Cheers Vineeto

December 1 2024

KUBA: Recently on 3 occasions I have dreamt that ‘I’ self immolated

The first one not realising that I was asleep I truly believed that I was actually free haha. It was quite an intense dream, the words "you will have to do something you have never done before" seemed to be echoing and in the dream ‘I’ went into the fear that was ‘me’ and then experienced this rather dramatic end to ‘me’. It was all very real and I thought that was it! Then of course I woke up to realise that ‘I’ was still around lol.

The next 2 happened when I was napping and this time around there was the background awareness that this isn’t genuine but still there was this sense of doing something that ‘I’ have never done before, going in the 1 direction ‘I’ have never travelled in before with the entirety of ‘my’ being, and then all of a sudden itwas happening.

So without assigning too much validity to what is essentially ‘my’ concoction I have been considering that this is what ‘I’ have to do for real, in ‘my’ waking state.

It seems I am nearing the end of investing in any further ‘solutions’ within the human condition. This is a habit of mine, to find the next problem and then try to solve it, really just to buy more time.

Often I will simply put a new shine on some aspect of the human condition which I have already investigated and resolved, only to sell myself on it being some new discovery, or new area for investigation.

It’s a funny one though because all these years it seemed as if I was building towards something, putting extra feathers in my cap along the way like they would eventually amount to something in themselves. And yet the prospect of self immolation means that it will all go along with ‘me’. I can see that it certainly wasn’t time wasted as there was no chance ‘I’ could sincerely consider self immolation without all this prior work.

Yet the option to self immolate was always available and it would have been no different back then as it will be when it happens now. This is because actuality exists as if a different dimension, it is outside of that bubble of illusion that ‘I’ exist in, ‘I’ am an aspect of reality in the sense that ‘I’ am an illusion which exists as part of an illusiory world, ultimately ‘my’ existential status is the same as that of reality, they cannot be separated out.

‘I’ could not leave the illusiory bubble without going into full blown delusion, because ‘I’ am simply an aspect of it. Just like Richard described the self being like a vortex in the water, there is no way to distinguish the water from the vortex other than by its movement.

So I can see that ‘I’ could not possibly enter that other dimension of actuality, which in itself is a bit of a startling discovery. Indeed ‘I’ am doomed. So accepting all of the above it is seen that anything else done in the meantime is simply buying time. Just like people say "you can’t take money with you into the afterlife" well ‘I’ can’t take anything of ‘me’ into actuality haha, ‘I’ will dissolve along with all the other illusions.

I can see now that all the ingredients necessary to be able to do it are already in place, and that there is no barrier for entry from actuality. Just like Richard wrote the intestinal fortitude will be provided when it is necessary, I can see this and this is exactly what happened in the dreams. In terms of altruism I can also see that this is a dormant aspect of ‘me’ and it will be likewise activated when necessary.

In terms of the ‘how to’ it seems that this is ultimately unnecessary to consider, the specific way in which it all plays out will only be known once it is happening, to try to plan it out in advance is just another way to buy time or to even block myself completely. Ultimately it seems that each pioneer had a slightly different experience with some common themes of course.

So ‘I’ am left with somehow generating the opportunity for it to happen, or perhaps inviting the opportunity, and once the ‘escape hatch’ is glanced ‘I’ must take that opportunity now, with the entirety of ‘my’ being. It’s quite thrilling to consider these things, very weird because there is just no way to know until it happens.

KUBA: Reading my own reply back I realise that the real world time span also only exists in that bubble.

Which means that when it happens it will be now, as it is always now, no time has actually passed between the ‘past’ and the ‘present’ and likewise the distance between the ‘present’ and the ‘future’ is ‘my’ concoction, all part of that illusory world.

How absolutely mind boggling haha.

VINEETO: You have all the time in the universe …

This Correspondence Continued | Actual Vineeto’s Correspondence Index
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