October 29 2024

CLAUDIU: Then I wonder what the next objection is and I have trouble finding one – or in other words like there isn’t really one. Although there must be something else it would have happened?

Might be more about finding additional reasons and/or motivation to take the final step. A huge one was identifying the pattern I have to withdraw and go into a complete “not caring“ anymore, just turning away from a situation or a problem. I saw in a flash just how deeply depraved that actually is, and how I don’t want to do that anymore in my life – and it appears to have disappeared entirely!

VINEETO: Hi Claudiu,

This is a significant pattern to have identified and it’s a very common reaction (strongly conditioned and upheld by society as well) mainly for males and a lot of females too. And it is not easy to talk about it because when you withdraw, you naturally don’t communicate.

The “not caring“ is of course only a defensive front because if in such a situation you really didn’t care you would not have to withdraw from feeling hurt. It is indeed “depraved“ not in its moral meaning (bad, sordid or wicked), but in the sense of “depraving you“ from being able to resolve the problem and not get triggered again in a similar situation. It is also “depraving you“ from experiencing intimacy with your fellow human beings each time it comes into play.

So it is really wonderful that you say “it appears to have disappeared entirely“ – just be attentive if/when a habitual reoccurrence wants to manifest.

CLAUDIU: Also for the longest time there was a little actualist voice in my head (that was ‘me’ of course) telling me that I should proceed, coaxing me along, imploring me, giving the feeling or appearance of this being an ‘important’ (as in ‘serious’) thing, essentially making a drama out of it – and now I see that that’s silly, totally unnecessary. Maybe it helped in the past but it just doesn’t seem to be a useful thing anymore! […]

And yet even though it is not ‘important’ as in ‘serious’ – and there is no feeling or ‘rush’ to do it in a real-world time-pressure sense – it is clear it is important as in having a large and meaningful impact on this body, the bodies of those closest to me, and the world at large. And I was about to write that the sooner it happens the better, but even this does not seem to convey it exactly, is there really a “sooner“ as opposed to a “later“? It is always just now anyway, after all…

VINEETO: It is amazing how often the cunningness of the identity is in operation – here ‘you’, the identity, is masquerading as an “actualist voice“ urging you on, whilst the very fact that there is an identity urging you, veils or distracts of even puts you off from what you actually want to bring about! The aim of ‘me’ is to literally create a diversion and drain the energy of going forward by putting you in conflict with your own aim. And then, as a result of not enjoying the conflict created by this “actualist voice“ you give in and ask if “there really a “sooner” as opposed to a “later”? And that “It is always just now anyway, after all…“

This is a copout, a semantic trick, to stifle your intent to become free now, and if not now then at the next opportunity to present itself.

Only a four days ago you wrote –

KUBA: This persistence of the guardian after self immolation means that really there is no excuse not to do it right away.

CLAUDIU: Yes I thought the same after reading it!

VINEETO: ‘Vineeto’ called these occurrences ‘furphy’ [(Austral. Slang): a false report or rumour; an absurd story] each time ‘she’ successfully exposed one of those cunning diversions. It became a fascinating game for ‘her’ to discover them as quickly as possible.

You may need to arm yourself with fascinated attention, charged up with pure intent, to unveil, decode, disarm and unmask all these ‘little’ diversions and furphies created by a very cunning ‘self’-preserving identity, presented in a last-ditch effort to prevent you from reaching your destiny.

CLAUDIU to Felix: Oo is it that we have another joiner of the out-from-control club?

VINEETO: Just for the record – being out-from-control is not a stable condition but a transitory stage of a more or less ongoing excellence experience in the process of becoming free. As such it is not a “club” to leisurely hang out in forever. Look, here is the history of virtual freedom so far – Richard had to inadvertently veer off into Spiritual Enlightenment after about six months of “dynamic virtual freedom”,(Richard, Selected Correspondence, Dynamic Virtual Freedom) whilst proceeding towards an actual freedom (because at the time it was the only possible way due to a marked lack of precedence in his unmapped adventure new to human consciousness); Devika backed out after 13 months, due to ‘stage fright’.(Richard, Selected Correspondence, Dynamic Virtual Freedom, #Devika) She consequently gave way to love and “chose for what she says is ‘True Love’ (‘Matrilineal not Patrilineal’)” (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 25b, 24 June 2003) and eventually “died a lonesome spinster”, (Richard, List D, No. 14a, 25 November 2009) while ‘Vineeto’, who, forewarned, had vowed never ‘to do a Devika’, went out-from-control the day about ten days after Devika/Irene died (14 Nov 2009), and after about six four-and-a-half weeks took advantage of the newly opened Direct Route and became newly actually free on 5 Jan 2010. One can’t stagnate, either go forward or backward.

Here is how ‘Vineeto’ described this period in the Direct Route – 

“I experienced an ever-increasing pull to move forward into what I clearly and unambiguously recognized as my destiny – an irrevocable freedom from the human condition. It set in motion a process that was to undo all of my remaining bonds to humanity, my residue of inhibitions, my last hesitations and any and all lingering doubts. Having finally arrived at being out-from-control, living the ‘beer’ rather then being the ‘doer’, filled me with a previously unknown confidence and certainty that ‘my’ redemption was indeed nigh.

To step out from control was a step deliberately taken, after sufficient clearing of the ground, so to speak, and after sufficiently ascertaining that what I wanted was indeed what I was aiming for (the genuine article of an actual freedom). Taking that step ‘I’ then willingly and with intent gave myself permission to allow the universe to pull me forward ever more strongly into the hitherto entirely unknown territory that lay between me and the ultimate goal. […]

The other observation from this period of being out-from-control […] I remember clearly one day sitting in a circle of 5 friends, utterly relaxed despite the fact that I had never met one of them in person, and I noticed that I had no personal agenda whatsoever, no plan to stir the conversation into a particular direction, nothing to emphasize or hide, no self-centredness or favouritism, no shame, shyness, embarrassment, no power or drive – I was just being myself as I was. I sat in this group, as one of many, and my sole interest was that everyone present (including me as one of those present) enjoyed themselves/ obtained the maximum benefit from our meeting. I experienced myself as being unreservedly at ease and utterly benign and wasn’t driven to say anything unless it contributed to the overall quality of the conversation.” (i.e. no ‘self’-centredness whatsoever). […]

“During the period of being out-from-control the identity (being the ‘beer’ as opposed to being the in-control ‘doer’) gallops ahead closer and closer to her/his destiny.” (Direct Route, James, 17 January 2010)

Just to emphasize – it’s not a membership-club, it’s more like being a fast-running tide carrying you inevitably towards your ultimate destiny.

Cheers Vineeto

October 21 2025

VINEETO: It’s ok, it is a natural reaction when you try to break through before you are ready – though it means that your arguments don’t make sense. It’s too early to even contemplate it, you could go to the “advanced base camp” first, then “camp 3”. (Uphill Mountaineering) Plenty of time to worry later. There is still an in-control virtual freedom available even if you never want to take the ultimate step. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Kuba10, 19 October 2025a).

VINEETO: Upgrading your present situation to pragmatic virtual freedom will give you a new confidence that being increasingly felicitous and innocuous (happy and harmless) is possible to live every day, in every situation – provided you sincerely and honestly leave no stone untouched. It means trying it out in real life what you often may have only rationally or conceptually understood but not yet applied in everyday living. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Kuba10, 19 October 2025).

KUBA: So yes I actually experienced this answer the evening after writing the post to you. That evening I did find myself in a more wide and wondrous place and from that place I actually did look back at the argument I made and it had no substance, it was irrelevant when considering from the wide and wondrous place. So I can actually see this point, that with increasing felicity and innocuity there is a solution which becomes obvious, a solution for everybody.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

I am very pleased this is settled for you for now. It is indeed a good recognition that when “increasing felicity and innocuity” is possible for you, not as a high achiever, but a normal human being, then it is also possible for others.

KUBA: But your other point is relevant too :

Vineeto: Good, you have come to appreciate the limitations of taking special excursions from the “base camp” – what I had called “your steeple chasing modus operandi” in an earlier message.

Those daring excursions form “base camp” are too brief, unstable and desperate to allow ‘me’ to contemplate actually doing something about the human condition. So I completely understand your suggestion to proceed towards a pragmatic in-control virtual freedom. Also those excursions from “base camp” they are done by ‘me’ as ‘I’ am now, too mired in the human condition, looking with the eyes of ‘humanity’ rather than felicitous and innocuous eyes. Then ‘I’ can only try to, as you said, proceed towards some escape fantasy whilst keeping ‘myself’ intact.

So it is eminently sensible to do something practical and down to earth now, which is to establish feeling good (general sense of well-being) as a bottom line of experiencing in all circumstances and at all times – and it is this bit specifically which I have omitted because I was too busy with the steeple chasing modus operandi. Just as an aside, when I first read that phrase I had to google it just to make sure I get you and as soon as I saw the below image I thought “yup that is spot on”.

VINEETO: Now you begin to understand why the term “down to earth” is right under the title on the homepage. It is very significant to take note that an actual freedom from the human condition is no high-flying spiritual escapade. As such your experiencing will eventually be genuinely “in all circumstances and at all times”.

It’s great you looked up “steeple casing” – I picked up the term from a reference in an English movie where they alluded to a particular form of obstacle horse racing but church steeples are far more apt as a metaphor, reminiscent also of the art of parkour.

KUBA: And the interesting thing is that I already know how to get back to feeling good, it’s that I have got distracted over and over again by going on the special excursions instead, and in that steeple chasing modus operandi I would forget about affectively monitoring my mood, in fact even feeling good would become irrelevant from that place.

VINEETO: In due course you will discover that the actualism method is not merely to get back to feeling good, but that by sincerely and thoroughly (if necessary) investigating the triggers you can remove/ dissolve those triggers – be they habits, social identity issues, unhelpful attitude or what not – which are all components of what ‘I’ and ‘me’ consist of and what keeps ‘me’ in place. Doing this ‘I’ get thinner and thinner and less and less substantial, and thus feeling excellent and naiveté start to flourish in a consistent way.

KUBA: And the other thing worth adding is that perhaps arriving at an in-control virtual freedom I might decide this is what I want for the rest of my life, and that would be already incredible. But the thing is that steeple chasing modus operandi would not have this. That if it is not ultimate then it is not even worth considering, and yet it is my life I am living. So this is nice to see now also.

VINEETO:

Richard: Ahh ... then you would be understanding why I oft-times say that a virtual freedom is not to be sneezed at (and that it is way beyond normal human expectations), then? Because this is how you described it:

• [Respondent]: ‘There is an increase in sensory clarity, especially visual acuity. Along with this increase in clarity there is a ‘purity’ in everything one perceives. The words ‘immaculate’, ‘perfect’, ‘pure’ capture it quite well; everything is wonderful. Strangely, though, the word ‘beautiful’ does not apply. There is no (felt) affect whatsoever. The purity of perception (and the marvellousness of what is perceived) goes beyond affect, leaving only pure, calm wonder. It’s sensory delight without any emotional resonance at all. The sensory delight I’m talking about is not the usual kind of sensuousness/ sensuality that one enjoys in an ordinary state. Rather than being ‘pleasurable’, it is appreciation of the perfection that seems to be inherent in what one is perceiving, which leads to enjoyment of a very different kind.

This is quite extraordinary. There is a sensation of softness in the air, which has a pellucid, jelly-like quality (metaphorically speaking). I’m reminded of something you once wrote about the eyes ‘lightly caressing’, as if one is seeing from the front of the eyeball. I also remember you saying ‘nothing dirty can get in’, and that’s exactly the way it is. Objects that would seem drab, dirty, sullied, soiled in ‘reality’ are immaculate in themselves; any ‘dirtiness’ is overlaid by ‘me’. (‘Richard, are you familiar with this?’; May 20, 2004 17:34 PDT).

(Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 60c, 15 July 2004)

KUBA: And the other thing is that I don’t experience the fear of being a fraud, or a failure etc like I did in the past, and I am no longer afraid of writing to you, and it seems it is because I am slowly stopping the “fake it till you make it”. So this is all beneficial already.

VINEETO: Ha, the instant reward of honesty and sincerity. The more “you make it” the less you need to fear exposure – and all this because you gave up chasing steeples and are coming down to earth. Life is so much simpler and eminently enjoyable this way.

Cheers Vineeto

October 21 2025

KUBA: So what I can see already is that all this what I am focusing on now is about increasing my affective set point, and I can see that I have been approaching this the wrong way around in the past.

Effectively I can see that there is no pushing required, hence the advice has always been to return to feeling good. It is when feeling good takes care of itself due to habituation that “something more” hoves into view. But if that “something more” is not in view, it’s probably because feeling good is not even habituated yet. And this is where the various excursions would normally begin to take place.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

When you say feeling good is not habituated yet that may well be that there is something brewing in the background which you haven’t acknowledged/ identified yet. For instance –

Respondent: Now coming to the method. I tried asking ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive’. Most of the time I get the answer ‘happy’, or when I stress upon ‘this moment’, I get blank with no answer, because in this moment there is no feeling. The feeling is only in the moment just passed by. But still ‘I’ do not have that experience all the time. Because ‘I’ is the heap of all the passed moments!

‘Vineeto’: I found that the interesting thing started when I got the answer ‘not happy’ or ‘no feeling’. I knew then I had something to look at. Upon closer look I always found a lurking feeling or fear disguised as ‘no feeling’ – the cunning entity inventing whatever trick to keep me from exposing it. It takes a lot of persistence, bloody-mindedness and ruthless honesty with oneself to dismantle one trick after the other. Sometimes I would sit days with that ‘no-feeling’ of numbness until I gathered courage and determination to examine it deeper. This process may take months until you are free of one particular emotion. But with the pure consciousness experience in mind you always have a comparison that keeps you going. (Actualism, Vineeto, Actual Freedom List, No. 4, 23.1.1999)

Alan: Vineeto, I am interested to hear more of what you call ‘no feeling’ in your mail to No 4. Is this the same as ‘stuckness’ or something different?

‘Vineeto’: With ‘no feeling’ I mean a kind of neutral-dull, non-responsive outlook on life. It may start with having ‘no feeling’ but then I quickly get bored with it not being quite alive and annoyed about wasting my time. It is usually fear in its first stage when I try to push it away. Digging deeper I usually find feeling, emotion, fear and holding on to dear ‘self’.

It is very different to ‘no feelings and emotions’ where there is simply the delight to be alive.

Does that make sense to you? (Actualism, Vineeto, Actual Freedom List, Alan-b, 2.2.1999)

KUBA: So actually it’s very simple, in that all I have to concern myself with is getting back to feeling good when feeling good has ceased, and that is very doable for sure and also very rewarding. And then when that “something more” naturally hoves into view, great, but it happens without any pushing or desperation at all, and it makes it that much sweeter when it does happen. It’s like “I have all that I need already and look there is even a little bit more here”.

VINEETO: As for enjoying and appreciating feeling good being a backward-oriented approach here is something to think about –

Richard: By virtue of the fact you now have the beginnings of at least some degree of influence, over how you feel each moment again, your own interest in how you experience yourself can start to quicken (there being nothing which succeeds like success) and the more your own interest is piqued the more your awareness will increase of its own accord; eventually you can become almost eager to see what else will show up under the bright light of awareness.

So, starting where you are at (always the best place to start from), you can become aware of the less obvious irregularities in your daily feeling of regularity/ the majority experience of being a regular person, such as feeling slightly better than before until you start to recognise and acknowledge each moment of feeling somewhat better; those moments provide a base for you to build upon until you can say to yourself (and anyone who may be listening) that you are feeling good. (Feeling good is a generic term for a general feeling of well-being).

And this is where the fun begins: the aim is to enjoy and appreciate being alive each moment again; when you are feeling good then enjoy and appreciate feeling good; such enjoyment and appreciation is the way in which you consolidate what you have established (feeling good) and sets up an automatic signalling device (a flashing red light as it were) to let you know of the slightest diminishment of feeling good; as it is easier to remain feeling good than having to claw your way back out of feeling bad (a general feeling of ill-being) you have a vested interest in remaining attentive all the while you are feeling good.

The more you feel good the more feeling good happens; the more feeling good happens the better you feel; the better you feel the more feeling better gets ... and so on and so on ... gradually increasing ever-incrementally until one day you can get to the stage the identity in residence all those years ago got to where ‘he’ would say how ‘he’ had to invent a new word (‘bester’) because how on earth could best keep on getting better.

(Be warned: the sky is not the limit). [Emphasis added]. (Richard, List D, No. 11, 25 November 2009).

KUBA: Hmm and I wonder if this is why especially for someone with a ‘high achiever’ persona, it can be so tricky to get the simplicity of the method.

But it’s this sense of “taking a step back” which is so counterintuitive to such a persona. As in things were evidently going well 5min ago and something happened to cause them to go awry, it seems like ‘I’ need to push forward and yet what ‘I’ actually need to do is simply go back to where ‘I’ was them 5 minutes ago lol.

VINEETO: Yes, and for a “high achiever” any other way than ‘his’ way is classified as going backward.

Ha, if it wasn’t counterintuitive to ‘you’, the persona, you would have already used the actualism method the way it was intended. Think again – when you pay attention to the aggression inherent in the urge to “push forward” you can see why this cannot be conducive to an ongoing state of feeling good, let alone feeling excellent. The urge to “push forward” means something essential is missing according to ‘you’, is not good enough according to ‘your’ concept of life and you are at loggerheads with yourself and with actuality.

Also, it is generally not helpful to create a concept of what virtual freedom means by merely making a carbon copy of what you are doing now, then adding new wall-paper, before you take some practical down-to-earth steps in the new direction. It spoils and distorts the whole adventure of naïvely exploring new territory.

KUBA: And of course it is the habituation of feeling good in this manner which will actually lead to a movement forward, in terms of doing something productive. As well as taking a look at what that thing was that caused the issues, but only from the position of having already returned to feeling good.

VINEETO: You might find this amusing and instructive – there is far more to explore than what you can ascertain by just thinking about it –

Respondent: I guess there are no shortcuts.

Richard: What I find telling – and this is a general observation – is just how much peoples object to being happy and harmless ... the vast majority of the correspondence in the archives is, in fact, a cutting indictment on the human condition itself.

Do you realise – and this is a personal observation – you have just said, in effect, that you guess you will have to become a happy ‘being’ before you can become actually free from the human condition (as if were there a way to be thus free without having to do so you would not)?

Whereas it is actually such a delight to finally be able to be happy (and harmless) ... and a relief. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 54, 27 November 2003).

Cheers Vineeto