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(List D refers to Richard’s List D Vineeto’s Correspondence with Kuba on Discuss Actualism Forum
KUBA: Hi Vineeto, Thank you for sharing this, it’s both an encouraging read in that ‘Vineeto’ did in fact succeed and also a reminder of the fact that I do not have forever as Alan did not succeed. VINEETO: Hi Kuba, Indeed it is always sobering when someone who had once aspired to become actually free dies, because death is the end. It was Richard’s first comment when we heard the news: "he died without becoming actually free". ‘Vineeto’ kept persistently following pure intent and the journey became easier and much clearer, as you can see in ‘her’ later correspondences and ‘her’ final manumission. KUBA: The map making and the approval seeking (in fact I was making maps and then seeking for you to approve them) was likely a way to find some kind of an anchor in this at times weird adventure. But the salient point here is that you cannot approve of ‘me’ or ‘my’ machinations. And even if you did it would lead ‘me’ exactly round in circles anyways. VINEETO: It took me indeed a while until I understood that you were merely making maps with insufficient intent to put them into action, most likely, as you said, a hangover from your spiritual practices and equivalent template. So I finally stopped contributing to you going in circles and ceased writing. You have to find your own way in your own time. KUBA: Things are different now, cleaner and calmer, like a
storm has passed. The genuine anchor which is pure intent is becoming available, not at all times yet but I do come
back to it, and it is never too far away it seems. VINEETO: That’s good to hear. I wish you enjoyment and appreciation in the doing of it. * For some light-hearted pause, here is an excellent report I found in ‘Vineeto’s’ correspondence, what happens when one applies physics to metaphysics – (Actualism, Vineeto, Actual Freedom List, 17.11.1998). And another amusing find –
Cheers Vineeto
ANDREW: I remind myself often of this “no
preconditions” assertion, for obvious reasons. It would be a decisive blow to all doubts if the mystery woman of
the subcontinent had anything to say about her experience. VINEETO to Andrew: You can also look at it thisaway – you want to be actually free because you don’t like being here – KUBA: Ah this makes sense now, if ‘I’ am treating actual freedom as a desperate escape plan for ‘me’ then it is merely a self-centred involvement borne of ‘my’ resentment to being here, its selfism driving the attempt and so it is bound to go round in circles. As Richard wrote – “Only altruism – self-sacrificial humanitarianism – will provide the enormous
energy necessary for ‘self’-immolation”. When gloomy and grumpy ‘I’ am certainly not concerned with much else other than ‘me’. I
find that ongoing felicity and innocuity does naturally engage dedication to peace on earth, it broadens the scope of
‘my’ caring and it demonstrates/ reminds ‘me’ just how precious the end of suffering – for all – is. Hi Andrew, hi Kuba, I like to expand on this topic of Richard saying “when the conditions
are ripe, magic happens” Richard expanded on the “no condition” elsewhere –
So why does not everyone become actually free instantly as has apparently happened for “the mystery woman of the subcontinent”? It is simple – the actual world is already here, has always been and will always be. It becomes apparent when ‘I’/ ‘me’ go temporarily in abeyance. Ergo – ‘I’/ ‘me’, the passionate, imaginary identity needs to disappear/ voluntarily go extinct for the Terra Actualis to become apparent permanently. However, when you wonder why it ‘you’ don’t disappear/ voluntarily go extinct tomorrow or the day after because it is such a good *idea*, consider what, of your own free will, you are intending to leave behind – all your hopes and doubts and fears, your hostile feelings as well as your loving and trusting feelings, all of your beliefs and trusted concepts, your grand castles made of imagination, your (borrowed) standards of right and wrong, good and bad and your sense of ‘being’ someone. Recognizing the scope, be friendly and kind towards yourself, and enjoy and appreciate every instant when your intelligence and your intent to be more felicitous and more innocuous gives you a greater range of freedom to do so and be so. And be aware that you are not alone in this grandest of adventures in your life –
The “the enormous energy necessary for ‘self’-immolation”, provided by altruism “when the conditions are ripe” is required because of the powerful passionate energy of the self-survival instinct.
There are no conditions how to bring this about, how slowly or instantly, it is entirely in ‘your’ hands. Everyone is a pioneer in this exhilarating, sometimes thrilling adventure of engendering this new epoch in human consciousness. Richard also commented during Dona and Alan’s visit –
And here is what you can do in the meantime, because –
Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: It is simple – the actual world is already here, has always been and will always be. It becomes apparent when ‘I’/ ‘me’ go temporarily in abeyance. Ergo – ‘I’/ ‘me’, the passionate, imaginary identity needs to disappear/ voluntarily go extinct for the Terra Actualis to become apparent permanently. However, when you wonder why it ‘you’ don’t disappear/ voluntarily go extinct tomorrow or the day after because it is such a good idea, consider what, of your own free will, you are intending to leave behind – all your hopes and doubts and fears, your hostile feelings as well as your loving and trusting feelings, all of your beliefs and trusted concepts, your grand castles made of imagination, your (borrowed) standards of right and wrong, good and bad and your sense of ‘being’ someone. KUBA: I remember the first few months of my involvement with actualism I wrote a post about how I found myself in such a weird situation. It was as if ‘my’ whole life ‘I’ had been stuck in this dark and cold cave with monsters all around, and now with actualism I found a way out of the cave where light was shining and where freedom was located. VINEETO: Hi Kuba, When ‘Vineeto’ met Richard and, after a short time, especially after her first memorable PCE, determined that this was indeed what ‘she’ had been looking for all ‘her’ life, ‘she’ wanted to learn all ‘she’ could do to achieve ‘her’ goal. It didn’t matter that it was entirely new to human consciousness, that was the thrilling part. ‘She’ had already left main-stream values behind by a large extent when ‘she’ pursued enlightenment in a spiritual commune, at the time something quite uncommon, i.e. crazy, in the West and as such a ‘weird’ pursuit. So, discovering that this spiritual ‘summum bonum’ of human consciousness was not the ultimate after all – that there is perfection and purity right here – ‘she’ came to the decision, after some months of deliberation and gestation, that this was the only worthwhile enterprise to wholeheartedly devote ‘her’ life to. Once the perspective was clear, the ‘weirdness’ and ‘perversion’ of the human condition were seen as par for the course – after all, an actual freedom is entirely new to human consciousness. Of course, ‘she’ encountered many doubts and fears, but these were also par for the course. Nobody but Richard had succeeded in living it 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year. ‘Vineeto’ was at first surprised that none of ‘her’ previous seeker friends were interested in something infinitely better than enlightenment but not deterred. It was only the beginning of discovering that many more people objected to actualism. Their objections ultimately only confirmed why nobody else had discovered and lived an actual freedom before. Like you said “I found a way out of the cave where light was shining and where freedom was located”. KUBA: And ‘I’ was looking at the way out from within the cave and ‘I’ found ‘myself’ perversely addicted to remaining! That dark, cold cave with monsters all around was ‘my’ home, it was where (through a bizarre instinctual passionate logic) ‘safety’ was apparently located. And it is such a weird scenario, because there are now people outside of that cave, such as yourself, waving a flag, and to top it all off they have also gentrified the way out of the cave so that it is not perilous. And ‘we’ know all this and yet in the cave ‘we’ remain! The addiction to ‘being’ i.e. suffering is quite something. VINEETO: Of course, at first from the perspective from within the “cave”, after first glimpses of the actual world, it all looks “weird” and ‘me’ being “perversely addicted”. That’s why a mere conceptual assessment is not enough – you need the ongoing experiential confirmation that not only is an actual freedom what you want to have but that it is what you want to be. With this clarity the perspective shifts to a down-to-earth action to imitate the actual and make this the number one priority of your life, practically and pragmatically. [Editor’s note: as an identity ‘I’ cannot be actually free but to the best of my abilities ‘I’ can imitate the actual until ‘I’ am willing to concur to ‘my’ demise]. Then your evaluation won’t be from the all-or-nothing frame of reference as in “yet in the cave ‘we’ remain” but how much better your life has already become despite not having become actually free yet. ‘Vineeto’ experienced too that ‘she’ often had difficulties giving up this or that feeling or fervently held conviction or moral injunction, that so many others held to be the true reality, inherited from the common-to-all human condition. But that was not the main issue – these obstacles were, one by one, persistently overcome and only increased ‘her’ confidence that the actualism method worked. And as such ‘she’ never concluded that “‘we’ know all this and yet in the cave ‘we’ remain” – there was no “‘we’”, as in everyone else – there was instead the overarching intent to be the pioneer ‘she’ had committed ‘herself’ to be, and determinately pursue ‘her’ destiny. What is the point in bewailing “the addiction to ‘being’ i.e. suffering” when you can do something practical to diminish this addiction? You already know how ‘to get down to brass tacks’, as they say –
And two weeks later –
And four days ago –
I singled out those quotes of yours because here you describe applying the actualism method – and the confidence you gain from success. Here is how ‘Vineeto’ described ‘her’ own practice in 2005 –
Only when you fall back into your previous habit of “lofty thoughts,
profound feelings and psychic adumbrations” KUBA: And ‘we’ know all this and yet in the cave ‘we’ remain! The addiction to ‘being’ i.e. suffering is quite something. VINEETO: Yet the moment you remember to appreciate – anything and everything about being alive in this moment, as a pioneer in this brand-new era of human consciousness – look what happens – KUBA: I am immensely appreciative of what has been done thus far by fellow human beings
to arrive at this current situation. Being the next to “step out” is of course the best thing that ‘I’ can do for humankind. VINEETO: And a day later – KUBA: What gay abandon is, what naiveté is, is the antithesis to control and insecurity, those are literally 2 opposite directions to travel. The need for control is borne of ‘my’ fundamental insecurity, all of ‘my’ best schemes are backed by anxiety, the very need to have those schemes is fear in motion, it is ‘me’ building ‘my’ glass houses from the ‘safety’ of ‘my’ hiding place. Whereas naiveté and gay abandon is the undoing of the need for control in the first place. That fundamental insecurity is somehow nowhere to be found when naive, like ‘I’ have just willingly kicked down the walls of ‘my’ hiding place and ‘I’ find delight and freedom as opposed to danger. That game of ‘danger’ and ‘safety’ that ‘I’ was playing is then seen to be over nothing, an instinctual passionate drama. Meanwhile there is now wonder all around and no danger in sight. Ha I am reminded of what Richard wrote (paraphrasing) that whilst everyone was huddling around
the fire ‘he’ had gone out into the darkness of the night – where apparently monsters were to be found – and
‘he’ discovered it to be a delight! VINEETO: What a thrilling and utterly rewarding adventure. Cheers Vineeto
KUBA: Hi Vineeto, VINEETO: What is the point in bewailing “the addiction to ‘being’ i.e.
suffering” when you can do something practical to diminish this addiction? You already know how ‘to
get down to brass tacks’, as they say. KUBA: Hehe yes I do know how to “get down to brass tacks”
in fact I have used this practical knowledge recently to push into new territory, which is fabulous!
A few days ago I realised that although I did a good job of exploring, investigating and diminishing the “human constitution” I nevertheless stopped each time right when the “lid was off” and ‘I’ was experienced where ‘I’ am forever threatened, where the core of ‘me’ as an instinctual ‘being’ is seen. In fact what I see clearly now is that all the armchair philosophising and steeple chasing (anything
but doing) was exactly that, a way to avoid seeing ‘myself’ were ‘I’ am forever threatened. And it’s
actually quite impressive what efforts ‘I’ went to in order to prevent the bright light of awareness from being
cast on the innermost recesses of ‘my’ being. VINEETO: Hi Kuba, What a marvellous report. I find it fascinating that you were only able to venture into the further,
frightful regions of the psyche after you had irrevocably abandoned “armchair philosophising and steeple
chasing” as viable alternatives. Imagination can provide this “ethereal/ non-existent/ imagined
target of projected perfection” as Felix so aptly called it A genuine transition from the old spiritually-instilled ‘it’s-all-in-your-mind’ paradigm needs
to be consciously abandoned to “get down to brass tacks”, in other words, to enter the down-to-earth wide
and wondrous path. (I just thought I put in a plug for the first four words on the Actual Freedom homepage KUBA: So I proceeded into the “frightful place” of the psyche haha, not as a “one and done” situation but with the intent on maintaining a fascinated attention, to explore every nook and cranny of the very depths of ‘my’ being. I thought to myself that I have been tasked with the job of painting the most realistic image of the depths of ‘my’ psyche. I can certainly see why nerves of steel and daring are needed, at first it was as if I would go mad or collapse into an incoherent mess and yet once the storm calmed down somewhat I realised that 1 – These are passions and calentures not facts. 2 – These affective storms leave no emotional scars. In fact I found that after these deep explorations it would be as if someone just wiped a grimy window and now more freedom and more perfection and purity was shining through. VINEETO: This is a very worthwhile observation for any daring pioneer –
One could call your present enterprise “grime-cide”, and when it gets out, there will be plenty of activists who will mount a fervent protest campaign. If you find this unlikely here is something Peter reported in 2000 –
Joking aside, keep in mind that you are not fighting or coercing your psyche but bringing about a cheerful and willing concurrence to ‘your’ long-yearned-for oblivion. KUBA: So I have succeeded where I failed time and time again in the past, I have stepped forward exactly where I would usually turn around. And I know from direct experience now that it is safe to proceed. Since daring to experience the “frightful place of the psyche” I have found myself more and
more in this wondrous “no man’s land”, it is not Terra Actualis but it is certainly not reality anymore.
And I find myself in this wondrous place without the affective storms getting in the way, or when they do come up
they become just another opportunity for ‘me’ to be seen even clearer. VINEETO: This is simply amazing, wonderful, mirificent – I am grinning from ear to ear with delight at your success. I remember Pamela describing this period as being better than her 5-months PCE –
Cheers Vineeto
KUBA: Driving to London again so I thought I would do a little report whilst Sonya is behind the wheel. There has been so much going on recently that I don’t think I could chronicle everything but I will note the main things. A few days ago I saw that the next step in the direction I was proceeding was to abandon hope. It took daring for sure, it meant no more “redemptive straws”, only extinction ahead. I found though that without hope, despair also took its leave. Without hope and despair to maintain ‘me’ I have found myself pulled ever closer to my destiny, which is more and more experienced to be right under my nose. This is what is different now, that before the “no man’s land” was experienced almost with a hint of eerie, an alien land where nothing familiar to ‘me’ existed. Whereas now it is more along the lines of what Srinath wrote – that this magical (actual) world is our rock solid inheritance. So there has been a lot of wondrous contemplation along these lines as well as experientially coming closer and closer to the destination. It’s funny that in the past I was so hell bent on trying to reduce actuality into a bite sized intellectual package, one that I could copy and paste here and there. But this is missing out on the main event, which is the actual living of it, and how could I possibly place all this wonder into a neat little package anyways. There has been some choppy waters and ‘I’ have come in to spoil things here and there, but it seems I have been able to take all this into my stride and carry on proceeding, and things have only been getting more and more wondrous. In fact this what I am living now is so worth all that I did in order to arrive here, and not even as a step along some map but as a wondrous adventure in itself. It looks like all the “rehearsing” I did over the past year was not a time wasted either, as I have been able to successfully orient myself in this new territory. But back then I did not want to be on the ride, the resistance was completely unpalatable. Whereas this what is happening now, I would not have it any other way. And it’s something that has to be lived, the wonder and the enjoyment and appreciation possible. As a side note I notice that this wondrous enjoyment and appreciation is anhedonic, which means that it can be completely off the scales and yet it can never be too much. It looks like all the various things which could possibly be in place, are in place. I find no
compulsion for the doer to come in and to try to force it to happen. As Richard said only the utter fullness can do
it. What ‘I’ have left to do is to give permission (joyfully and wholeheartedly), to allow it to happen. VINEETO: Hi Kuba, Great to hear from you. You seem to be having a grand time. I am reminded of Peter saying quite fittingly in the Actual Freedom Library, Hope –
Of course, there are no ‘Actual Freedom Trust offices’ but the call to “Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here” is applicable for every actualist at a certain stage in their process, and what a benefit has it been to you! I am also reminded of another quote which I had already sent you before, but perhaps you can now obtain some additional experiential benefit from it –
Cheers Vineeto
KUBA: Hi Vineeto and Adam-H,
Wow what an incredible description. When I read this it was the word spontaneously that caught my attention. I read your response to Chrono just before and the quote you provided from Richard explains this spontaneous felicity and innocuity every moment of one’s life :
Certainly not just a difference in degree haha! I have experienced recently that there is an unbelievable perfection and purity, and it happens without any input from ‘me’, it is here already. When ‘I’ get out of the way then it is seen that the entire world is like this and it is all happening already, of its own accord. Which explains the below a little more :
It’s because that perfection and purity has got nothing to do with
‘me’, ‘I’ can only spoil it by getting involved. ‘I’ allow this perfection and purity – which is
already here – by getting out of the way. ‘I’ am not needed at all to maintain or generate it, and this is
perhaps the thing that can take so long for ‘me’ to fully comprehend and accept. VINEETO: Dear Kuba, I can’t resist answering – YES, it is so, “that ‘I’ am only standing in the way of it”. Such a simple matter once you apperceptively know it – and yet it can take half a life-time to experientially see it and concede it. Cheers and appreciation. Vineeto
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